CLASSROOM OF THE ELITE X QUINTS: Complicated Feelings

Nino SS ( I can't )

~~~“Thank you. I hope you'll stay by my side, no matter what happens.”~~~~

-Stop listening and eating for God's sake pt 2

His words keeps repeating in my mind like it's in a damn fucking loop.

My numb arms try exerting the tiniest ounce of strength left in hugging my cold legs. I’ve been sitting on this freezing floor for several hours, still sobbing remembering those annoying moments together with him.

The make-up I spent preparing for almost an hour was already pathetically a mess. If anyone were gonna see me right now, I won't blame them if they mistook me for a clown HAHA.. haha..ha..

Somehow these pairs of dry eyes still manage to produce its last drop of tear. It slides down slowly and slowly, carrying all of those heavy emotions inside. All of those unsaid words, suffocating feelings from utter disbelief, complete disappointment, valid or not valid intense rage and many unexplainable things in my chest.

“Is–Is–Is he seriously saying those despite the truth?” ~ I force my eyes to shut. ~ “H–he is delusional! As–as if I-I will still choose to be with him just because he wants me to be with hi-him!”

“Ugh!! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idio…idiot.” ~grit~ .“Sob… why did I even fall in love with such an…. Sob …”

“....Why..?... Why…? .. what did I do to deserve all of this?.” posed a question myself.

“Huh?”

I thought I was only imagining hearing a reply despite being alone inside my room. But found my phone's screen lights up close to the nearest legs of my bed from me, notifying me of a message.

All of my energy has left my body ever since I confronted him. Not to mention being completely drenched from the rain for god knows how long it was.

Heh– whose motherfucker has the guts to annoy me after what I'd been through…

“Sigh.”

Ignoring it might be for the best. Even if it's from one of my sisters, I doubt I can control my emotions in case they will say some unnecessary stuff to me.

Well, only Ichika knows the truth. She was the one who gave me the folder after the exam recently ended, afterall.

After seeing the contents, my vision goes blurry and I can't hear anything she says. I can tell Ichika is gesturing to me to calm down while explaining something.

But—But! Can anyone blame me?!

I'm not sure if those are words for comfort or her usual knows it all complaints but I don't give a fuck of anyone's opinions!

It's my own problem.

Yeah. My own problem…

Gripped

I hate yo– myself..

Leaning the back of my head – full of messy thoughts – against the wall. There was a certain fluffy mini-rabbit stuffed toy on top of the small drawer beside my bed.

That one time in the Keyaki Mall starts rushing back in my head out of control.

‘Ayanokou— he couldn't decide on what to choose as a decoration in his room.

I-I even help his ass out from giving options between a white floor mat and a brown coloured one.

Still, he absolutely sucks at it.

And then I complained and returned those because he couldn't pick one for several minutes.

Time is gold y'know?

Not until I found him blankly staring at the pair of fluffy mini-rabbit toys on one of the shelves.

That's how Ayanokou– he and I have each of them in our room…’

Sob

Argh!

Grabbing my hair due to my repulsive thoughts, I was about to make my messy hair more messier.

I am slowly becoming crazy…

“Sigh.”

After a heavy breath. I force my freezing knees to stand up and forcefully drag these frail legs, staggering towards the mini-rabbit.

Why?.. Why?... Why are you reminding me of those days?.. Why?

I raised the stuffed toy in the air, trying to throw it out of my sight.

My hand starts trembling.

I couldn't do it..

I-I’m still not ready to completely forget about him…

I-I-I still need more time….sob

Hugging the fluffy mini-rabbit toy tightly in my chest, another bucket of tears started to fall down from my eyes.

“Sob.. Sob.. Uwahhh-”

Maybe,

we just found forever at the wrong time, and, someday, time will pull us back together again.

-autumn

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Peace ✌️

Vol 2 will return on April everyone.

Btw, couldn't upload last week cuz I got sick. (Still sick tho but I'm halfway in recovering)