October 43 (Steve Rogers x OC)

Chapter 19

Present Day

Even now as he looked at the picture of Bridgette and Jack on Steve's sideboard, Bucky could recall that night over and over again in his mind. The look of terror on her face when she realised that he was there to hurt them. The smoke from the fire that had torn the house apart, the flames reflecting in his eyes while he watched from a distance, making sure the mission was as good as done.

He wished that he had simply stayed as the ash that Thanos had turned him to. He hadn't deserved to be resurrected, regardless of whether he was now free from the winter solider mind control or not.

Even though Steve never really spoke to him on the matter, it was clear to Bucky that in his friend's eyes - he found it hard to look at him. Part of him wondered why his friend had still fought against Tony for him. Was it a sign of forgiveness? Or something to simply try and give Steve hope that the James Barnes he once knew was still here - and was not the man who had committed the worst possible crime against his best friend's family.

Putting the picture down, he turned - seeing Steve watching him from the doorway.

"Sorry..." He apologised. "I just...I can't stop thinking about them". No amount of apologies could ever right the wrong between them.

"It was the winter solider...not you". Steve said, now coming to stand next to him and look at the picture in silence before breaking it some moments later. "I made a decision today..." He began and then glanced to Bucky. "That when I return the stones? I'm going home".

Bucky stared at the floor. "So...you're leaving me to put up with Sam - I suppose I deserve that".

" I didn't say that I was staying, I'm gonna be going to get Bridgette and Jack - and once we're back? I'm done, the shield is done. It's time to have the life that I almost got, but I need you to promise not to tell anyone what I've done. I'm gone. Ok?"

"And what about me? Don't I get to know where you are?" Bucky asked and then saw Steve's face before nodding to himself a little disheartened. "Right...yeah, I get it - you don't trust me still..."

Steve sighed. "It's not that. But I need time to process things, especially now. I don't even know if this is gonna work, but I'm gonna find a way".

"Will I see you again?"

"I'm not abandoning you here completely, but like I said. I need time..."

Bucky understood and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Will you tell her? About everything?"

"Eventually..."

"What if you can't get back?" Bucky asked concerned. "Then what?"

Steve smiled weakly. "Then just know that whatever happens? I forgive you".

He understood. They both needed time. Steve to finally come to terms with everything as well as he needed to. His trauma ran deep, the next stage was unknown, but if the government had anything to do with it then he'd probably be locked away despite his help during the battle against Thanos.

"Gonna miss you pal" he smiled sadly as the pair now hugged.

"I'll miss you too Buck. But I have to do this".

Bucky nodded. "Well I'm not gonna stop you. It wouldn't be right. Just er...when she does finally find out the truth? Tell her that I'm sorry, and even if you guys are able to forgive me? I'm never gonna be able to forgive myself".

**

A week later Steve found himself finally being able to undertake what he once thought impossible.

Going home and finally finding his wife and son.

"Ok Rogers, it's a straightforward drop and run". Tony said from where he and Banner were behind the console. "Get in, get out".

Steve rolled his eyes. "I know what I'm doing Tony". He'd had this all planned since last week. Nothing was going to stand in the way of getting back to his family.

"Good, because if you didn't then I'd be pissed".

Steve huffed and took the case containing the stones, popping the shield onto his holder on his back."can we just do this so we're all wrapped up for lunch".

"Don't get your panties in a twist, we're doing it". Tony retorted.

Steve looked around at his friends and nodded. "See you soon". His helmet visor closing before he disappeared.

Bucky watched quietly from the sidelines, away from everyone else, before hearing them panic as to why their friend has flown past his time stamp. Both Banner and Tony arguing while Nat tried to stop them.

Wherever Steve was, Bucky just hoped that he was happy, because his friend deserved that much and more.