Omega and the beast

Chapter 33

It was like I was walking around in a haze. I was completely leached; I was dully and tired. At the same time, I was angry, sad, frustrated, pissed off... I was overwhelmed and melancholy. It hurt all over me, both mentally and physically. It was as if someone had cut out my heart and I was slowly bleeding to death.

But the worst thing was still the paranoia. Would they come to take me away by force? Would they storm Mike's apartment and kidnap me? Kill him and then abduct me?

Then there was the fear of shifting. Would it happen there? When? How long could I prevent it? I'm not stable and I know it. I was already in shock, afraid to turn into a fucking hairy beast. I felt how I held on to my human side, but the other one struggled to get out.

All weekend I wandered around in Mike's apartment, prohibited him from leaving it even for just going to the gym. Mike was worried, I could tell. But he did everything he could to support me and just be close.

On Saturday morning I almost panicked when he was forced to leave the apartment to move the Lamborghini which was still parked over the lawn in front of the entrance.

"I take the liberty of moving your luxury car since I have seven missed calls and several texts from Mrs. Smith complaining how it's parked right outside over the lawn."

"Sorry. You can leave the keys in it, let's hope someone steals it!" Angry, I had crossed my arms over my chest. "And then CRASH it!"

"Are you that mad at Reed?"

"He's a twat and a demanding dickhead! His family is monsters and I hate them all."

"I hope you get along soon."

"Do you want to get rid of me?"

"No, I just know how happy you've been with him lately." I had sighed as an answer. "Or am I wrong?"

"I thought I was..." I had whimpered and started crying again.

"I'm really worried, Ryan."

"I'm just hurt, let me process."

"Shall I go shopping while out?"

"No!" I had erupted in panic. "Come back as soon as you can!"

In addition to walking around like a paranoid zombie, I cast nervous glances out the window like a freaked monkey. I expected the whole fucking pack to stand outside the door, waiting for me. At least Reed.

But I saw no one, didn't smell anyone either and it made me almost more nervous, reluctantly. Because... Didn't he love me anymore? Didn't Reed want me? Did he see me as a useless bitch when I didn't obey immediately?

Then I realized how these thoughts were his ugly alpha tricks yet again, to make me think I want to be with him! Because I don't want to be with HIM. That's why I hide out, staying away from him.

He tricked me into feeling that way. He tricked me into loving Hookhill and move there. It wasn't for my sake he did it. He tricked me into his fucking trap by using my emotions.

Sunday night when Mike and I once again crawled into his bed it had felt like my whole skin was on fire. It burned like if someone had torn off the outer layer of my skin and poured hot water on me. First I thought it had to do with my shifting, but then I began to understand.

I had taken a deep breath and realized how Reed's scent left me slowly, slowly it became weaker. My body fought my choice to run away from Reed.

I didn't dare telling Mike how scared I was because he would freak out even more. I wasn't sure he wouldn't call Reed and ask him out about everything if I did. However, he promised me not to contact him.