Happily never after {FINISHED}

Chapter 50.

One more breath, come on, you can do it. One more lousy breath and you can leave. Okay. Now. I took I deep breath In, my shoulders shuddering as I exhaled. Look what I'm doing Jai, look what I'm doing for us.

*Dear Steph... You're gone. You've seriously left us... You've left me.*

This world is nothing without you baby... I just miss you so much. I can feel my body relaxing as I lay next to you again- the last sound I heard was the note a taped to your tomb stone- explaining to whoever finds me, why I'm doing this.

*people try to convince me you left due to old age to make me feel better... But I know you left due to a broken heart. When you were only 17... You gave Jai half of your heart, and when he left us 2 months ago, he took it with him and the half of his heart he gave to you.*

These 2 months weren't easy, Jai. They were so hard. I watched the video you made me once a week... It then became my addiction and I would watch it at least 38 times a day. I never ate, I never slept.. All I wanted to do is watch that video. Some how, it made me feel as though you were there. Of course you're there... You're waiting for me to come, right?? You're probably watching me now, heck, your probably stood right next to me screaming 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEPH??'- but I can't hear or see you Jai. Do you know how lost I am, without the light in my life guiding me through. I can't go another day without hearing your voice... Ya know, after 57 years of seeing you every day.. For you to leave so quickly.. It hasn't been easy.

*One Day, I believed that I could some day be the man at the end of the aisle. Being nervous as I waited for the wedding to start, yet so happy to see you walk round the corner, dressed all in white. I never knew Jai, out of all the brooks brothers, would be the one to up his game and propose. It broke me. I thought I was going to have a chance with you... I seriously did. But I saw Jai's face as he watched you walk down the aisle. That was when I realised that I did the right thing and not be selfish. I did the right thing by watching the love of my life grow old with Jai... And to love him so much. Which is why I have so much respect for you, Steph. You made that little, innocent Jai so happy. Now you're both gone, you can be together forever, which you promised eachother. So look after her Jai... Look after my world.*

I would wake up every morning, Jai.. Trying to hold you. Trying to hold your warm, smooth body in my hands. Lydia has been there for me the most... She doesn't like the thought of me being alone. Alfie and Rebecca have flown to Barbados together after watching the video of us. They have both taken their boy friend and girlfriend. Alfie looks so much like you Jai... You could practically call you, luke and Alfie triplets. I saw Luke the other day, my first reaction was to kiss him... I wanted him to stay with me... But he isn't you. I could just stare at his face all day and pretend I was staring at you, babe. But I'm joining you now.

*Steph... Please never forget me. Never forget the memories we have together. And never, please never forget, our friendship and what we had. I know I never will, you were always there for me. Always*

You get one shot in this world... And I believe I spent mine the right way. With 3 amazing kids, a beautiful house with a friendly neighbourhood, living in a hot country and you... My Jai. My hand released the bottle of pills, rolling somewhere out of reach. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I heard these weird noises. Jai, I'm scared.

*i love you so much Steph.... I just can't believe you're gone. Life's Rollercoaster would have been so boring without you on int... And I'm so glad you were. You were always happy when no one else was, the sight of your face would just cheer everyone up. Oh gosh... I'm really going to miss you.*

I feel as though I'm falling, yet flying at the same time. Jai- I don't like this feeling at all. Suddenly, I felt my body relax almost instantly..... Jai, are you there? Can you see me now? A bright light filled the space around me, to the point where I couldn't see anything. I squinted, trying to ward off the bright white light. 'Hello??' I called out. No reply. I opened my eyes properly and a silhouette stood Afew feet in front of me. Shit. I didn't want this at all. I just wanted Jai. 'Hello??' I called out again. The silhouette, Jai, It started walking towards me. I froze in my spot, scared to move. Jai, are you there?? Can you see me? The silhouette was now only Afew inches away from me. The bright light fell almost instantly and it took my eyes a while to adjust to the new lighting. I rubbed my eyes slightly before looking up. My sight was clear and I could see clearly who was stood infront of me. Relief flowed through my body and tears burnt the rim of my eyes. I took in the view and used both hands to cover my mouth. All my life, I've been wanting perfect- what is perfection? I've learnt it's what you make of yourself.. Everyone has a different meaning of perfection. In my eyes, I did it... I am perfection. I swallowed back Afew tears and took a sharp breath in, closing my eyes. I slowly reached my hand out, allowing my finger tips to skate across your skin. The Palm of my hand held you. This is what I've been waiting for. I flickered my eyes open gently to see you again.
"Hey baby." 20 year old Jai, whispered. I rested my hand on the back of his neck and he dived in for a hug. He smelt and felt the exact same.

*But you're back with Jai now... You can be happy again. I'm going to hold back and take a look at the picture... Gods art.... You. I may no longer be able to see you anymore... But I know you're there. And I never got the opportunity to tell you how much I really do love you, the way you love Jai. So, there we have it... I love you Steph and I hope you're happy now. Heaven has gained a beautiful angel, and they're so lucky to have you. Thanks Steph... For everything. And I'll say this one last time... Look after her Jai, look after my world.
Lots of love
Beau. Xx*