Seulgi's POV
Agad kong inilayo ito sa'kin, ngunit hinigpitan nito ang pagkakakapit sa leeg ko. I still didn't kiss her back.
"Irene" I whispered between her kisses.
Naiinis itong lumayo sa'kin. "Kiss me back! And why are you still calling me Irene? Nakakairita na sa tenga."
Sinamantala ko na ang pagkakataong ito na lumayo sa kanya. I need answers, not kisses. "Bakit hindi mo pinirmahan ang annulment papers? If I remember it correctly gusto mo na mahiwalay sa'kin 'diba? That's your chance."
Hindi ba't nung una pa lang ay gusto na niyang makipaghiwalay sa'kin dahil hindi niya ako mahal? She wanted to be free, kaya ibinigay ko sa kanya.
Una pa lang si Bogum na ang mahal niya. I know, I know, it's also my fault kung bakit ako na saktan sa years na magkasama kami.
Bilang tao, I was also blinded by love. When her father said na pakasalan ko ang anak niya para mailayo siya kay Bogum dahil sa kar*ntad*hang ginawa niya kay Irene, I didn't think twice and just said yes.
That time, desperate na rin kasi akong makuha siya; desperate for her to finally notice my love for her. Which is my mistake, I shouldn't agree sa arranged marriage. I should have did the traditional way.
I thought if kasal na kami mas mapapadaling mapa-ibig siya o makuha ang damdamin niya. But I was wrong, why did I think after niya akong kausapin para sabihin kay Dad na huwag ituloy ang kasal ay magiging maayos ang pakitungo niya sa'kin?
Pero hindi naman ako pumayag lang sa kasal just because desperate akong maging akin siya. I agreed because I know I can protect her against Bogum or kung sino pa man, if ever na gawin nila ang bagay na katulad ng ginawa ni Bogum.
I also know na if kasal sa'kin si Irene, lalayuan siya ni Bogum dahil alam niyang mas favor sa'kin si Dad. Alam namin parehas ni Dad na nasa sindikato si Bogum, kaya ganun na lamang ang pag-iingat namin kay Irene.
"Why? That's your chance; that's your chance to get back kay Bogum? So why didn't you sign it?" Muli kong tanong sa kanya.
Nakatingin lang ito sa mga mata ko. Her eyes are longing for someone, but they are also filled with love. "Simply because..."
Hinihintay kong ipagpatuloy ang sasabihin nito, but she's just looking at me; teary-eyed.
"Simply because, what?" Tanong ko. Hindi ko na matiis pa, I need answer.
"I-I love you." She paused and hugged me tightly, resting her head on my chest.
"I love you so much. Mahal kita, Kang Seulgi. That's the answer."
I shake my head. "No, I-I don't believe you."
"It's true! Mahal kita, mahal na mahal kita. That's why I-I can't sign the a-annulment papers. I don't want to lose you; I can't."
I tried removing her arms around me, but she just tightened it. "I-I still don't believe you. H-How? You love Bogum right? Siya ang mahal mo, you love him since we were teens. I know, because I see it in your eyes." I paused.
"From the start, I know siya ang mahal mo. Hindi nakokompleto ang araw mo if hindi mo siya nakikita, 'diba? Ikaw pa nga ang unang gumawa para makuha ang attensyon niya, it is also the reason kung bakit naging mag bestfriend tayong tatlo."
"And may pagkakamali rin ako, hindi dapat ako basta-basta na lang pumayag sa alok ng Dad mo na ikasal tayo. Dahil una pa lang, alam ko ng mahal mo siya. Hindi ka na sana na trapped sa'kin."
"Hon, stop. Are you saying that pinagsisisihan mong makasal sa'kin? Please, don't, maniwala ka sa'kin. I love you! You know me, if I—"
"How! Matagal naging kayo and besides, kahit nung kasal pa tayo I know, kaya hindi mo ako kayang mahalin because you're waiting for him."
Tears started falling from her eyes. Medyo natigilan ako, because this is the second time I ever see her cry. Somehow, nasasaktan ang puso ko when I saw her cryed. My heart feels like it's tearing apart.
"Listen to me, please. Don't just conclude things, hon. How can we fix this if hindi mo pinapakinggan ang side ko? I told you before 'diba? Maniwala ka sa sasabihin ko."
She cupped my face using her palms. "Mahal kita. I love you so much, how many times do I have to tell you that? Kaya ko sabihin iyon, thousand times, sabihin mo lang. What do I need to do, to prove it to you that I love you?" Mahabang sabi nito. Umiiyak na ito habang hinahaplos-haplos ng dahan-dahan ang pisngi ko.
A part of me wants to believe her but nangingibabaw pa rin ang hindi naniniwala. You can blame me if you want, pero kasi, for all the past years that were married, every night I saw her crying because she's waiting for Bogum to comeback.
She might not know that, pero nakikita ko siya every night na umiiyak and wishing to the stars na bumalik na si Bogum. I clearly heard that, so how can I believe?
I chose to ignore that before, I would always tell to myself mamahalin din niya ako or lilipas lang iyon. Dapat pala sana hinayaan ko na siya sa gusto niya na maghiwalay kami, hindi na sana kami umabot sa ganitong punto.
"I-I'm sorry, pero hindi pa rin ako naniniwala. I'm sorry if pumayag ako sa kasal kaya ka na trapped sa'kin. Forgive me, naging desperado ako, I-I— I should just probably leave." Sapilitan ngunit hindi mahigpit ang pagkakahawak kong tinanggal ang pagkakakapit nito sa'kin.
I can't continue this. Matagal ko ng kinalimutan ang past namin, pinagsisihan ko na ang mga maling nagaw ko kay Irene. Kaya nga support ako sa relationship nila ni Bogum, because she's not free to do that before. Wala siyang kalayaan pumili, because of me.
Tinanggal ko ang karapatan niyang pakasalan ang taong mahal niya.
Look at her, she's crying. I promise pa naman kay Dad that I will protect her daughter not to make her cry. Kahit naman hiwalay kami, I still fulfill my promise. Promise is a promise.
I'm sorry Hyun, sorry sa lahat.
I moved on, ayaw ko na malunod sa pagmamahal na 'yan, it's hard. Besides, nandyan naman sila Jennie and Nini. They are my happiness, nalilimutan ko ang problema ko kapag kasama ko sila.
I should probably see them. I need to think, baka nagkakamali lang ito si Irene. Nagsimula na ako maglakad palabas ng pinto niya without looking back at her.
Malapit na sana ako sa pintuan nang maramdaman kong she hug my back. "Hon, don't leave, please. Pakinggan mo naman ako, I'm telling the truth! I loved Bogum, yes, I am also blinded by love and probably my own standards. He was my ideal man, lahat ng katangian na hinahanap ko sa lalaki taglay niya."
"He was sweet, kind, and made me feel love. I thought he—"
"Exactly! You love him, not me. Asan ba si Bogum? Siguro na mimiss mo lang siya kaya sinasabi mo sa'kin na mahal mo ako."
Maybe dahil hindi niya na, nakikita si Bogum sa'kin na niya sinasabi 'yan. Paalis na sana ako when I remember something.
"Don't worry, I'll find him para sa inyo ni Iseul. Kawawa naman ang bata, hindi pa nakikita ang Ama niya. Once I see him, I'll punch him for not taking responsibility sa anak niyo." Dugtong ko pa.
"And I'll also send another annulment papers; I'll set you free. Baka kaya hindi mo pinirmahan nung una ay dahil feel mo connected pa rin tayo because we didn't have this talk."
"Hon. Hon, no!" Humahagulgul nitong sabi habang patuloy sa pag-iling.
"Take care, aalis na ako." Lumawag ang pagkakahawak nito kaya sinamantala ko na para umalis.
Malapit ko na masarado ang pinto ng marinig ko itong magsalita habang patuloy na humahagulgul.
"I'll do anything for you to believe, that I love you! Katulad ng sinasabi ko sa'yo, I love you kaya I will never sign that annulment papers. I won't ever give up, just wait for me hon."
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Hehe babye! See you next next week chos HAHAHAHA
BINABASA MO ANG
The Unwanted Husband (Seulrene)
FanfictionSeulgi and Irene have been married for over 3 years, due to an arranged marriage. Seulgi love Irene since the day they met, but Irene have a lover and she only sees Seulgi as her younger brother. Magmula ng sila ay ikinasal, Irene did not treat Seu...