After Before and After

Phase 4: Chapter 12

December 7, 1992. 8:39AM.

Ralph Langley and Zoey Berman exited their private meeting room before walking through the courthouse hallway to reunite with Jeffery and Laurie. The trial was to begin in twenty minutes.

It wasn't until Zoey stepped aside to talk with the Langley parents alone that Ralph finally saw Jack. The blond boy was dressed nicely, wearing a black suit and shirt with a dark red tie that must've costed upward of a couple thousand bucks. His hair looked to have a whole bottle of gel in it. It was slicked back and presumably hard as a rock. But Ralph could focus on nothing but the fact that Jack looked beautiful, and he wanted to go over and tell him that, to hold and be held by the only person who could make him feel better in this wretched place.

Neither Jack nor Ralph were testifying that first day. The witness lists were packed with any and everyone who could give insight to different aspects of human behavior, physical evidence, character, child psychology, the island, murder, intent, isolation, brain development, international law, societal rules and expectations, and so on. Many people who were part of the boys lives were called to testify to character including but not limited to parents, siblings, friends, teachers, extended family, staff at Bainbridge, doctors, neighbours etc. The thought of listening to all these people speak about Ralph like he wasn't in the room made him shake.

More than the testimony of the rest of the people in his life, Ralph was worried about what the other island survivors might say. He knew that out on the island, they had all been willing to betray him for Jack and Roger, for savagery and cruelty, for freedom and monstrosity. The question now was whether they were still willing to stab him in the back even in civilization. Except this time, it would be a figurative back stab rather than a literal one.

Alongside that of his former squadron members, Ralph was also anxious about his own testimony. He knew that he wouldn't have to get up on the stand today, but the thought of getting up there at all was a source of confliction for Ralph, and the reason why was a lose-lose situation.

SIX WEEKS EARLIER

Ralph Langley sat on the swing at the playground of his old elementary school down the road from his house. He was hardly moving, gently pushing at the ground with his sneakers to slightly rock the swing back and forth. Jack Merridew sat on the ground up against the pole of the swingset, picking at the peeling skin on his hand. It was a warm but breezy evening on a Sunday night in late October. Jack had just gotten his shoulder sling off a week ago now. It was one of the last few week nights the two boys got to spend together before trial preparations completely took over their lives.

"Ralph?" Jack spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

"Yeah?" Ralph answered, turning to look at Jack who wasn't looking at him.

"You love me, don't you?" Jack asked. Ralph could hear the reluctance in his voice, a strange insecurity or nervousness that made Jack not sound like Jack.

"Of course I do, why would you even ask me that?" Ralph replied as if it should've been obvious.

"I guess I'm just thinking about stuff" Jack shrugged as he kept his eyes on the pebbles on the ground, tracing his finger through the dusty rocks to create meaningless shapes and patterns.

"What stuff?" Ralph wondered curiously.

"Like how much you'd have to love someone to do something bad for them. Is there even such thing as loving someone that much? I don't have parents who'd do anything for me, but I think a lot of people do. Like you. Do you think your dad would jump in front of a bus for you if it was the only way to save your life?" Jack asked. He didn't look up at Ralph until he was nearly finished his last sentence.