After Before and After

Phase 4: Chapter 26

December 11, 1992. 10:29AM.

It should've made it easier to get out of the bunk bed, put on the suit, walk down the hotel hallway, take the elevator down to the lobby, and finally walk the two blocks to the Chatham County Juvenile Courthouse. But it didn't. The fact that it was Friday, the last of the first five days of court didn't make it easier for Ralph Langley to get up and go, even knowing that after today, he'd have two days free of early mornings, suits, proceedings, testimonies, and cereal in a box. There was no making it easier.

Presently, after having gone through the bland morning routine that had led him here, Ralph sat in Courtroom 4 in his usual spot next to his parents. Court was an hour and thirty one minutes in, and yes, Ralph was counting. By the end of this first week, the attorneys had completely shifted the court's focus from setting the rescue scene to the boys' former captain and pilot, the beloved Johnathan Benson. Yesterday, Dana Barnes called the sister of Captain Benson to the stand. She was teary eyed until she was ugly crying through her testimony as a character witness for her late brother. Ralph felt his stomach knotting up as his box-cereal-breakfast threatened to betray him, at the sound of her wretched words. Captain Benson's very sympathetic sister went on and on about how wonderful a man he had been, how he dedicated his life to serving his country, how he received letters from former students of Bainbridge Military Academy long after they graduated, thanking him for believing in them and helping shape them into the upstanding soldiers they became.

Ralph spent that hour she was on the stand feeling guilty for a crime he didn't commit. He couldn't get the vivid image of Captain Benson lying in the sand, a triangle bandage soaked in blood wrapped around his head, moaning and groaning in pain. Ralph thought about Simon insisting he was still alive after he disappeared one morning, presently kicking himself for not even considering the boy's concern until it was far too late. He thought about what it must've been like for Captain Benson, completely out of it after the plane crash, how much he must've suffered in his final few months of life. Ralph tried to remind himself that it wasn't his fault, that he did everything he thought was best at the time, but it wasn't enough. His guilt only intensified when he remembered the night they gathered to discuss the man's care after Jack and some of the others nearly attacked him in the forest, mistaking him for a pig. Ralph remembered Jack's suggestion to just leave Captain Benson to die, that it was more important they focus on caring for themselves than him. It was good that Ralph had argued against him, he thought, but it was still a haunting memory to recall while listening to the deceased man's sister tell the court all the reasons Captain Benson had deserved to live.

Today, Dana called the former captain's daughter to the stand. Both Benson's father and wife had passed years ago, leaving his elderly mother, his sister, his grandson, and his grown daughter as his only living immediate family. After the guilt-induced stomachache he got the previous day from Benson's sister's testimony, Ralph was in no way looking forward to listening to the man's daughter rehash the beautiful life her father had led, and all he should've been able to do had he been able to live the rest of it.

"Please state your name for the record" Dana requested after Benson's daughter was sworn in.

"Patricia Benson" the middle-aged woman with ashy brown hair and sad blue eyes answered.

"Patricia," Dana began in her I-have-the-upper-hand tone that Ralph hated the sound of, "who was Johnathan Benson to you?"

"He was my father, but he was much more than that" Patricia answered, her voice as sad as her eyes.

"Can you expand on that for the members of the court?" Dana prompted.

"He wasn't just my dad, he was my best friend. Everything he did, he did for me. My mom had to raise me by herself for the first thirteen years of my life while he served in the military. It was heartbreaking as a child when he wasn't able to come home for Christmas some years. But every year, without fail, he was there for all thirteen birthdays I had while he was serving. And every time, he brought a birthday present for me. It was a miracle now, looking back, at how he found the time to shop for a gift with what little time he had outside of serving. When he finally retired from the military, as my aunt must've mentioned yesterday, he missed how serving made him feel. He missed being out there, making a difference in the world, making his family and country proud. When the opportunity to work with Bainbridge Military Academy arose, it brought that spark back to his eyes I saw every year on my first to thirteenth birthdays. He had such a surreal impact on the thousands of boys he trained and mentored at the academy. He was proud of them like he was of me, his own daughter. I liked having him home from serving too. I confided in him about everything. We had a father-daughter relationship my friends were all jealous of. He took care of me after my high school boyfriend cheated, he ensured my friends and I had safe rides to and from prom, he went to all my parent-teacher conferences. He was the first one bursting through the school doors when I complained to him of being picked on. We had countless movie nights, shopping trips, vacations, and road trips, just the two of us. He was there for me to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, when I had my own son, when my ex-husband and I got divorced, when I needed a babysitter, even when I just needed to talk. He was always there, no matter how busy he was with work. It seemed he had an endless amount of time to devote to his cadets, me, his grandson, my mother. So much so that there's no way he ever took much for himself. He was the most honourable man I have ever known, and he led an honourable life. I don't know what he went through at the end of his life, but I do know that nobody deserved it less than he did. His heart was bigger than life itself. He was always there for me, whenever I needed him, until the day he wasn't; the day his plane crashed. I hate thinking about what the end of his life must've been like, how scared and confused and hurt he must've been. He didn't deserve that."