After Before and After

Phase 4: Chapter 85

It was starting to feel like an uphill battle, the kind of hill that didn't have a top. Instead, it was just Paige Merridew hiking up and up and up and up for over sixteen years straight. She was a parent to a two-year-old at ten years old, and raised him all the way through to sixteen. She did her best every single day, did what she thought was best for him. And then every now and again, something catastrophic would happen and wash all the good she thought she was doing right down the drain. Jack getting kicked out of class or even suspended, running away from home, antagonizing Evan to the point of hospitalization, committing involuntary manslaughter on a deserted island, making false testimonies under oath.

And here Paige was again, feeling like all the good she'd ever done for Jack was good for nothing.

After court got out that Monday afternoon, Paige sent Jack off to their hotel room by himself without so much as a word or two. She followed her father back to his room, and once they were alone, she screamed and shouted and demanded to know why he didn't tell her Jack was testifying today.

"Brett didn't think it would do any good" Evan argued lamely.

"Brett? What does he care what you tell me? You're the one who doesn't trust me! You always do this! You always keep things from me when you know what you're doing isn't right. How could you let him do that to Ralph? Who did that help? All it did was make Jack look like a sellout!" she shouted with an overwhelming surge of emotion.

"Shut your mouth, kid" Evan rolled his eyes boredly, "you don't know a damn thing you're talking about right now."

"What I know is that Ralph was Jack's best friend. They welcomed your son into their family, and they've taken better care of him than you ever have. So tell me, Dad, tell me what was worth screwing them like that. What, did Brett manage to convince the DA to go easy on Jack if he testified against his friend? Did you make a deal with someone high-up to keep your name out of the press if this gets out? Huh? What! What's the story, Dad? What did you or Jack or Brett or whoever gain from all this?" Paige rambled as she resisted the angry tears creeping their way up to the edge of her eyelids.

"Christ" Evan sighed heavily, throwing back his head in either boredom or frustration. Paige couldn't tell, but that wasn't unusual. Evan hadn't ever been an easy person to read. "It's not that deep, Paige."

"Then tell me what it is" she demanded, "if it isn't rooted in some expensive bribe, why'd he do it?"

"Brett came to me and said the prosecution may ask some of the boys to testify. They all had the right to invoke the fifth, as you know, and Brett laid all our options out for us. He said that telling his version of the truth would reflect well on Jack, even if nobody else has the guts to get up there and do the same. You know the record your brother has, it ain't good. Any jury would take one look at it and convict without giving it any thought. This way, Jack had the opportunity to prove he's capable of doing the right thing. This wasn't 'bout the Langley kid or 'is family. It's just a damn legal strategy, Paige" Evan explained.

"That's it?" she questioned, evidently baffled.

"Mhm hm" Evan mumbled boredly.

"There's gotta be more to it than that" Paige insisted.

"There isn't always some revolutionary answer to every question, Paige. Sometimes it's just business."

"So stabbing his best friend in the back was just business? Some stupid legal strategy?" Paige questioned. It was far less satisfying than she was expecting the explanation to be. She was hoping that Jack stabbed Ralph in the back for a damn good reason. And so far, he just looked like a traitor.

"Yup" Evan confirmed, "that's all it was."

When Paige left her father's hotel room, she was still feeling uncertain. Perhaps Evan was right; maybe there isn't a profound explanation for every problem that seems profound. Still, she found it hard to believe that Jack would just roll over on Ralph so hard to maybe help his own case.

"Hey" Paige sighed as she joined him in their room. Jack was perched up against the headboard of his own bed, watching an old rerun of Seinfeld.

"Hi" Jack said boredly without taking his eyes off the screen in front of him.

Paige sighed heavily and plopped down on her bed. She stared intently at Jack, studying the lazy way he sat on the bed without a care in the world.

"Was any of it true?" she found herself asking.

"What?" Jack responded boredly, the TV still holding most of his attention.

"Was any of what you said up there about Ralph today true?" Paige elaborated.

Of course, Jack didn't answer. He was the king of tuning out of conversations he didn't want to take part in. And this one was high on that list.

"Jack!" Paige snapped. She reached over and snatched the remote off his bed. Jack yelled at her as she turned the TV off.

"Hey! Give it back!" he demanded harshly.

"Was it true?" she asked again harshly, holding the remote back behind her, well out of his reach.

"What difference does it make?" Jack shouted back, his face red with anger.

For a moment, the siblings just stared at each other in the tense silence.

"What do you mean?" Paige asked, much more calm than she had been a moment before.

"I mean what difference does it make? It doesn't matter if it's true. It's done, it's over, I said it. Whether or not its true won't change that" Jack finally answered, he too much calmer now.

"But it's still the truth" Paige argued softly. "Or is it?" she asked again.

Jack simply rolled his eyes and shook his head dismissively, another tactic he used when he didn't want to give a straight answer.

"You're never gonna tell me, are you?" Paige concluded after a minute of contemplation.

"Sounds like you're not a complete idiot after all" Jack observed, his tone still tense and heavy, but his insinuation mocking and sibling-rivalry-like.

"Why, Jack? Why can't you just tell me the truth? You know I won't say anything. I'm on your side, I always have been" Paige continued to force the issue.

"The truth doesn't matter anymore" Jack argued.

"Okay, fine. But it doesn't bother you, not even a little bit?" she pried further.

"What doesn't?" Jack questioned.

"Stabbing Ralph in the back like that" Paige clarified. "After everything he and his parents have done for us, after you dated him for almost two years. You loved him, I know you did. I just don't get how you could get up there and say what you said after everything you two have been through together. You know this has to be killing him, right?"

"Stop!" Jack snapped as he stood up, his face painted with far more emotion than it was a moment ago. Was it anger? Pain? Frustation? It was hard for Paige to say for sure. "Just stop" Jack brought his volume back down.

Before she could say anything else, Jack abandoned her in the room and locked himself in the bathroom. Paige inhaled sharply as she flopped back down onto her bed, her gaze landing on the ceiling.

Something wasn't right. Between what her father said and her brother's evasive attitude, Paige knew she was missing something here. There was another piece of the puzzle, one that would surely make sense of this nonsensical mess. If only she had the power to figure out what it was. But as usual, being a child in the Merridew family gave nothing more than the perception of power.

When in reality, Paige couldn't think of a single thing that made her feel less powerful.