After Before and After

Phase 4: Chapter 125

December 16, 1993. 7:49 PM.

There was no such thing as being prepared for the moment that decided whether or not the rest of your life would belong to you. There was no way to mentally ready oneself to hear that someone else had made a decision about your future, and whether or not you'd get to live it in the real world. Of course, this bothered Ralph Langley extensively. Ralph had always been the kind of kid who liked to be prepared for any and everything. He overpacked for camping trips when he was a kid, always ordered more food for takeout than he ever actually ate, wore knee and elbow pads under his special protective padded clothes years after he learned to ride a bike without training wheels, and hyperfocused on building shelters, gathering enough food for everyone, and keeping the fire signal going when stranded on a deserted island.

Ralph Langley liked to be prepared for the worst, and right now, he wasn't even prepared for the best.

The call came in at 6:12 PM, or 1812 hours as Ralph was still trained to know. The jury was done deliberating after Ralph spent four agonizing days doing nothing but waiting. The jury's day no longer ended at 5PM. They were forced to deliberate over the weekend, sequestered until they reached a verdict. For awhile, all Ralph wanted was for that call to come in. Surely, no verdict could be worse than the waiting game. But a day later, the phone rang, and before his father could pick it up, Ralph realized he didn't want it to be time after all. Thankfully, it was just a magazine subscription sales person.

But the next time the phone rang, it was time.

The day was Tuesday, and Ralph hadn't been in court all day that day or yesterday. It was strange to be able to sleep in at the hotel on a weekday morning, and Ralph wasn't sure if it was a good strange or a bad strange. Just that strange was the right word, one way or the other.

It was dark outside and had been for awhile because it was currently almost 8:00 PM or 2000 hours. Ralph had never graced the halls of the Chatham County Juvenile Courthouse with his presence after 5:30 PM before, but a group of strangers hadn't made a decision about his future before either.

Jeffery answered the call at 6:12 PM from the privacy of their hotel room, and informed his son and wife that they were expected at the courthouse by 8:00 PM that same night to hear the verdict. The immediate request for their presence was the reason nobody was allowed to leave Savannah during the deliberation process. The court would not wait for families to jump on flights back here from wherever they'd choose to run off to. Ralph understood the rule though. If he had the opportunity over the last four days, he probably would've wanted to run as far away as he could possibly get.

For the very last time, the Langley family sat in wait in the gallery of Courtroom 4. They sat in one of the rows left to the aisle. The room felt darker, the light more faint and artificial than it was during the daytime when they were normally there. Laurie squeezed her son's hand, sensing his worry. Although, her mother's intuition probably wasn't necessarily needed under the circumstances. A baby could've guessed Ralph was feeling overwhelmed by stress in this moment.

Ralph turned his head as the doors opened behind them each time they did. He was anxiously waiting to see Jack because the two hadn't seen each other much over the last four days. It was Jeffery and Laurie who kept insisting they needed to be apart for the time being, and explained that the Merridew siblings had a lot going on besides just Jack's case. Paige was still supposed to be moving out of the Merridew mansion very soon, and Evan still hadn't been in court since November, when the true nature of the boys' relationship was revealed in front of the entire courtroom.

But in walked Jack through the double doors under the faint, yellow lights, and Ralph's heart lit up at the sight of him. He was dressed in his usual courtroom attire; a suit, dress pants, and a tie. They all dressed up because that's what was still expected. Behind Jack, both Paige and Evan filed in before the family's attorney, Brett Winslow. Ralph couldn't suppress the surprise on his face when he saw Evan. He had stopped expecting him to show up. He should've guessed that he may appear for the final verdict, but Ralph hadn't guessed. Looking at Evan, he tried to see the signs that the revelation about him and Jack had changed the man. But he just looked like Evan Merridew; tall and angry.

As the family walked passed the Langleys, Evan turned and locked his eyes with Ralph's. The look on his face was blank but somehow still threatening with a pissed off undertone to it. Evan never looked happy before, so it was hard for Ralph to figure just how much Evan Merridew hated him from the look alone. But the look did say that at least; that Evan hated him. He was a small, single-minded man, Ralph knew. He would blame Ralph for what Jack was, see him as the cause for Jack's ungodly sin even if Jack's sexuality had nothing to do with him. Evan Merridew would believe that Ralph turned him into it, like it was a bribe or a purchase that involved the exchange of something valuable. Jack's heterosexuality for something Jack wanted from Ralph. Perhaps, a family, the kind the Langleys were. The new apartments and vacations to Hawaii and Greece kind of family. Even if Ralph had never been to either destination, Evan would assume that he had. Evan would assume that his son gave up his acceptable lifestyle for something tangible. Though it wasn't true. Jack and Ralph's relationship was what it was long before Jack was invited to be part of the Langley family. But that would never matter to men like Evan. Men like Evan believed that sexuality was a choice, one his formerly all-American son might've made only to get something else out of it, an uncharacteristic decision he was peer-pressured into.

Ralph didn't know Evan Merridew all that well from his own interactions with the man, but the look he gave Ralph as he walked down the aisle of the gallery of Courtroom 4 said all that without Evan having to say a single word of it out loud.

And Jeffery must've picked up on the horrible things Ralph was thinking about Evan and him and Jack, because he squeezed an arm around his son's shoulders after Evan sat down next to his kids three rows ahead.

At least I'm not his son, Ralph thought to himself. At least I have my dad to hug me when someone else's dad tries to make me feel bad about who I am.

The jury entered the courtroom at 7:58 PM along with all three presenting attorneys, and a minute later, Judge Eldeson joined them and took to the judge's bench. They all sat in their usual seats in the courtroom, but this was anything but usual.

The bailiff swore in the jury as usual, but the attorneys themselves were not addressed this time. They rose when the judge entered and sat when he asked the court to be seated, like everyone else.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," the judge began as he faced the twelve strangers who held the boys' futures in their hands. "Have you reached a verdict regarding all charges in this case?"

"We have, Your Honor" the foreman confirmed. The foreman A.K.A. the presiding juror is a member of the jury elected to be the speaker on the whole jury's behalf, the one who reads the verdicts aloud in front of the courtroom. Sometimes, they even take the lead in the discussion during deliberations, acting as a group leader or a facilitator.

"And all members of the jury have unanimously agreed on this decision?" Judge Eldeson sought to confirm.

"Yes, Your Honor, we are all in agreement" the foreman confirmed.

"Very well then" Judge Eldeson sighed. He looked tired, perhaps it was the time of night, Ralph considered. Perhaps everything felt off because it was after 5:00 PM and it didn't feel right to be wearing a suit when he normally would be wearing pyjamas. "Let's begin with the Benson case, shall we?"

The foreman turned to the juror beside him, the two exchanged a whisper, and both looked down at the pages in the foreman's hands.

"Are we ready to proceed?" Judge Eldeson asked them, tired eyebrows raised patiently.

"We are" the foreman confirmed.

Ralph's heart felt like it was in his stomach. Was this really happening? Was it really the end? Was his future about to be told to him right here, right now? He figured that if he was a normal kid, he would be having his future told to him by a carnival psychic at the county fair instead of having it told to him by a jury of intimidating, grown up strangers in suits in a very brown and bland room with high ceilings.

The scariest thing was that having his future told to him by a jury meant that it would be undoubtedly accurate. He could chose not to believe a carnival psychic if he didn't like what he heard.

But that wasn't an option tonight. He would believe the jury because a verdict isn't just a prediction, its a promise.