Can you please fix me?

it's now or never

and she drifted off to sleep with one thought on her mind , I don't mind doing that for the rest of my life.

The next morning, Carina was the first to wake up. She looked down at the little blonde still suckling her collarbone well, that's going to be fun to cover up she thought to herself, but didn't dare to disturb her.

She took in this rare moment that she was up before her wife and thought about last night events, it was nice to take care of Maya like this and enjoyed it. She liked how innocent she was and the way she talked and the little nicknames she gave her and Andy and the way she innocently asked for a bedtime story and suckled her collarbone It felt different than the other times it felt more intimate.

After a few minutes, she felt movement and a small grown she chuckled and said "Buongiorno sleepyhead"

"morning babe" she answered with a raspy voice.

"did you sleep well Bambina?" the brunette asked while scratching and massaging her back.

Maya just nodded and closed her eyes relaxing more into her wife embrace.

Until she remembered what happened yesterday night and quickly shot up, Carina startled by the blonde and quickly set up and holding her wife's back, afraid that she will fall.

"Are you ok bella what happened?" She asked worriedly.

"I..um..me..you" she she tried to explain, but nothing came out.

"Shh Bambina breathe it's ok take your time" she reassured her.

After minutes with Maya avoiding eye contact and mentally preparing herself for Carina to yell at her or call her disgusting and leave her again ok it's now or never she thought to herself and begin to talk.

"First off I'm really sorry I didn't mean to slip I was going to talk to you if we could try a CGLG relationship I was reading about it the past few days, Diane recommended I read about it in our last session before I talk to you and I did, and to be honest with you I really liked it, and I like the feeling of you taking care of me yesterday, but I understand if you felt pressured to take care of me yesterday, and I understand if you didn't like it and I will never bring this ever again I promise" and with that the blonde finished her rambling, the whole time she was looking down at her hands, afraid if she looked up, she will see the look of disgust on her wife's face.

"OK Bambina I have 3 questions can I ask them?" she asked, hooking her finger under the blondes chin, trying to make her look at her "Hi there, Bambina" she said, after meeting her wife's gaze.

"yes, babe anything" OK this is going better than I thought she thought to herself.

"Is that why you were distant lately?" and Maya just look down embarrassed and blushing and whispered "was it so obvious" the brunette giggled and answered" Sì Bambina now answer me"

"yes and I'm so sorry" Carina was relieved she thought that Maya returned to her old ways.

"Va bene second question what is a CGLG relationship that you want us to try?"

"CGLG stand caregiver little girl, one partner will be the caregiver in this case it will be you and the other is the little girl" she pointed at her self " and if we try this, I will drop or slip into a younger headspace, as in I'll be in the mindset of a child, and I don't know how much younger I'll be"

"all right my last question is why does Diane think it will be a good idea?"

"do you remember when I told you that me and Diane are working on my 3-year-old maya to love herself and she is lovable, even if she lost?" Carina just nodded " well we tried everything, but nothing had worked and she is still in the back of my mind telling me that you want love me because I got demoted and you signed up for a captain not a loser" Maya couldn't hold her tears anymore and begin to cry.

Carina hugged her, and said "Shh, she is wrong Bambina I love you no matter what even if you become a probi, why didn't you tell me, Bella"

With Maya still straddling her, she laid her head down on her shoulder and hugged her back "I just didn't want to disappoint you" she whispered.

Carina's heart broke at her  words, she looked at her and wiped her tears "Bambina you will never disappoint me. Do you understand that?" she said, while directly looking in her eyes.

"I know it's just she's always whispering in the back of my mind always criticizing my every move, and it's tiring and exhausting to ignore her. I am exhausted" she sniffled and continued "so Diane recommended that I try age regression to heal my 3-year-old self and childhood trauma" and with that she hid her face in the Italian's neck.

"OK" Carina simply said

Maya lifted her head and looked into her wife's eyes "OK?"

"Sì, OK if you want us to be an CGLG relationship I'm OK with it"

"Really??" she asked hopefully

"Sì Bella I like taking care of you whether you are big or small to be honest with you. I liked taking care of small you yesterday. You were so relaxed and so innocent, you were my little baby yesterday" she said, smiling and asked "What about you Bella did you like it?"

"yes, I really did especially the bedtime story and what happened after was really soothing and relaxing" she answered, laying her head again and nuzzling to Carina's neck.

Carina giggled and decided to tease her wife a little bit " oh, and you mean with What happened after is you sucking my collarbone all night?"

"babe" she whined and hid her face even more.

"I'm just messing with you Bambina in fact, I liked it" she felt a smile against her neck and heard her whisper "I'm glad"

"Ok, so does that mean you want to try?" and she felt her nod.

"I would really love to, but if you don't want to, I understand" she said, with a sigh this conversation took a lot and she could feel her self wanting to slip.

"I would love that too Bambina" she said, and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you I promise to be good and not to bother you too much" the blonde if she wasn't emotionally drained, she would be jumping up and down in celebration.

"You are always my good girl, Bella and you will never be a bother to me" she reassured.

After five minutes of silence, Maya decided to ask Carina something "babe I know it's may be early, but can I slip, I just want to feel safe in your arms"

"Sì, Bambina slip, you will always be safe with me" Carina was surprised that Maya didn't take that much time to slip she must be exhausted from that conversation she thought.

Not long after she heard a small voice calling her "Rina"

"Sì, Bambina"

"cuddle?" Carina just hummed and lay them down and cover them with a blanket.

The blonde moved down and nuzzled her face in the Italian's chest, and mumbled a small "Tanks rina, love you"

"Ti amo anch'io, bambina mia" [I love you Too my  little girl] and in this moment, she never been happier.

To be continue...