Can you please fix me?

Down Memory Lane

Hii I'm back!! I missed you guys so much.

Please read the note at the end.

Enjoy!

And with the only thing she could hear was Maya's little suckles, somehow she felt closer to Maya and that her heart could burst in any second due to the fact that, she was finally nursing her Bambina

The next morning Maya was the first to wake up. At first, she was disoriented looking around, she was in Carina's arms, and when she tried to move out of her wife's hold she heard crinkling, she frowned at first and lifted the duvet to see what was the source of the sound.

Her face went pale when she saw that she was wearing a onesie and felt a diaper around her waist. She tried to remember what happened. The last thing she remembers is that she was trying to sleep after her "accident" and that she was crying and upset but after that everything was blurry.

It took her some time but after a while, she started to remember the event of last night. Her first instinct was to beat herself up, how could she be so weak? She was supposed to stay big so her wife didn't have to worry about her. But she failed.

Amongst all the chaos that was going on inside her head, a small voice found its way to the surface.

"but this is the first time in 3 weeks you have actually slept through the night without being woken up by a nightmare" the voice said.

"yes, but I...." she tried to object.

"No buts this is not just about you, look at Carina" the voice instructed.

And Maya did and was horrified by the site in front of her. She was quick to bring her hand up and trace her fingertips across the Italian face. Carina had begun to form dark circles underneath her eyes, she clearly didn't have much luck with sleeping either, and from the looks of it, maybe she lost a few pounds too.

"Maya can you maybe think that you being little does help Carina too, and you can't hide and go back to your old ways every time something happens not according to your plans. YOU promised that you would talk to her or Diane if you had these kinds of thoughts..."

Carina opened her eyes and saw Maya "Buongiorno Bambina" she said taking Maya's hand and kissing her knuckles and noticed the frown on the blonde's face "Why are you frowning Bella?"

"I-I am so sorry" Maya whispered a tear falling down her face "I love you, I didn't mean to, I did this, this is all my fault I didn't take care of you I wasn't a good wife, I was selfish and forgot to check on you" she said caressing Carina's cheek with her thumb than added upon remembering something "how are you? Did the hormones bother you? I am so sorry I wasn't there for you"

Carina didn't know why but she broke down crying, maybe it was because of the hormones or the fact that this was the first time she felt like Maya was here, actually here not just physically, she had been feeling lonely and scared that she had lost Maya "it was scary Maya seeing you in that hospital bed, and than you closed yourself off, it was like I was living the same nightmare again, like I was back in time and I can't do anything to help you again" she cried, finally releasing her pent-up emotions.

The blonde wrapped her hands around her wife, ignoring the pain that shot right to her shoulder and did her best to comfort her "I am here, I am not going anywhere"

After a while, she groaned frustrated wiping her tears "This is dumb I don't know why I am crying"

Maya pulled herself to sit next to Carina "It's not dumb" She said, wrapping her arm around the brunette and close, her eyes shut when another wave of pain shot to her shoulder "You've been bottling this up, let it go"