Daughter Of Lightning - Book 1(Percy Jackson x OC fanfic)

CHAPTER 28

(Percy's POV)

Standing behind us was a guy looking like a raptor in a leisure suit. He was at least seven feet tall, no hair. He had gray, leathery skin, thick-lidded eyes, & a cold, reptilian smile. He moved toward us slowly, but I got the feeling he could move fast if he had to. His suit might've come from the Lotus Casino. It belonged back in the seventies, big-time. The shirt was silk paisley, unbuttoned halfway down his hairless chest. The lapels on his jacket were wide as landing strips. The silver chains around his neck-I couldn't even count.

"I'm Crusty," he said, with a yellow smile. I resisted the urge to say, Yes, you are.

"Sorry to barge in," Nora said. "We're just, browsing."

"You mean hiding from those no-good kids," he said. "I get lot of people here thanks to them. Say, you wanna look at a water bed?"

I was about to say, 'No thanks', but he put a huge paw on Nora's shoulder & steered her into the showroom. There were all the water beds you could imagine: different wood, different patterns of sheets; queen-size, king-size, emperor-of-the-universe-size.

"This is my most popular model." Crusty spread his hands proudly over a bed covered with black satin sheets, with built-in Lava Lamps on the headboard. The mattress vibrated, so it looked like oil-flavored Jell-O.

"Million-hand massage," Crusty told us. "Go on, try it out. Shoot, take a nap. I don't care. No business, anyway."

"Um," I said, "I don't think..."

"Million-hand massage!" Grover cried, & dove in. "Oh, you guys! This is cool."

"Hm..." Crusty stroked his chin. "Almost."

"Almost what?" I asked.

He came over to me & told me to try another model, so I did. He looked at Annabeth. "Do me a favor & try this one, honey. Might fit."

Annabeth said, "But what-"

He patted her reassuringly on the shoulder & led her over to the Safari Deluxe model with teakwood lions carved into the frame & a leopard-patterned comforter. When she didn't lie down, Crusty pushed her.

"Hey!" she protested.

Crusty snapped his fingers. "Ergo!"

Ropes sprang from the side of the bed, around Annabeth, holding her to the mattress. Grover & I tried to get up, but ropes sprang from our beds, & tied us down.

"N-not c-c-cool!" Grover yelled, his voice vibrating from the million-hand massage. "N-not c-cool a-at all!"

The giant looked at Annabeth, then turned toward me & grinned. "Almost, darn it."

Nora tried to step away, but his hand shot out & clamped around the back of her neck.

"Whoa, pretty girl. Don't worry. We'll find you one in a sec."

"Let my friends go." she said.

"Oh, sure I will. But gotta make em fit, first."

"What do you mean?"

"All the beds are exactly six feet, see? Your friends are too short. Got to make them fit."
Annabeth, Grover & I kept struggling.

"Can't stand imperfect measurements," he muttered. "Ergo!"

A new set of ropes came from the top & bottom of the beds, wrapping around our ankles, then around our armpits. The ropes tightened, pulling us from both ends.

"Don't worry," Crusty told Nora, "These are stretching jobs. Maybe three extra inches on their spines. They might even live. Now why don't we find a bed you like, huh?"

"Nora!" Grover yelled.

"Your name's not Crusty, is it?" she asked.

"Legally, it's Procrustes," he admitted.

"The Stretcher," she said. I remembered the story: the giant who'd tried to kill Theseus with excess hospitality on his way to Athens.

"Yeah," the salesman said. "But who can pronounce Procrustes? Bad for business. Now 'Crusty,' anybody can say that."

"You're right. It's got a good ring to it." His eyes lit up when she said it. "You think so?"

"Oh, absolutely," she said. "The workmanship on these? Fabulous!"

He grinned hugely, but his fingers didn't loosen on her neck. "I tell my customers that. Every time. Nobody bothers to look at it. How many Lava Lamp headboards have you seen?"

"Not many."

"That's right!"

"Nora!" Annabeth yells. "What're you doing?"

"Ignore her," she told him. "She's impossible."

The giant laughed. "All my customers are. Never six feet exactly. So inconsiderate. And then they complain about the fitting."

"What'd you do if it's more than six feet?"

"Oh, happens all the time. It's a simple fix."

He let go of her neck, but before she could react, he reached behind a nearby sales desk & brought out a huge double-bladed brass axe. He said, "I just center the subject & lop off whatever hangs over on either end."

"Ah," she said, her face paled. "Sensible."

"I'm so glad to come across a beautiful & intelligent customer!"

"So, Crusty.." she glanced at the sales tag on the valentine-Honeymoon Special. "Does this really have stabilizers to stop wave motion?"

"Absolutely. Try it out."

"Yeah, maybe I will. But would it work even for a big guy like you? No waves at all?"

"Guaranteed."

"No way!" she exclaimed.

"Way."

"Show me."

He sat down eagerly on the bed, patted the mattress. "No waves. See?"

Nora snapped her fingers. "Ergo."

Ropes lashed around Crusty & flattened him against the mattress.

"Hey!" he yelled.

"Center him just right," she said.

The ropes readjusted themselves at her command. Crusty's whole head stuck out the top. His feet stuck out the bottom.

"No!" he said. "Wait! This is just a demo."

Her sword appeared in her hand. "A few simple adjustments..." she muttered.

"You drive a hard bargain," he told her. "I'll give a thirty percent off on select models."

"I'll start with the top." She raised her sword.

"No money down! No interest for six months!"
She swung the sword. Crusty stopped making offers. She cut the ropes on the other beds.

We got to our feet, groaning, wincing &
cursing Nora a lot (Mostly Annabeth).

"You guys look taller," She said.

"Very funny," Annabeth said. "Be faster next time."

I look at the bulletin board behind Crusty's sales desk. There was an advertisement for Hermes Delivery Service, & another for the All-New Compendium of L.A. Area Monsters.

Under that, a bright orange flier for DOA Recording Studios, offering commissions for heroes' souls. 'We are always looking for new talent!' DOA's address was with a map.

"We should get out of here." Nora told us.

"Give us a minute," Grover complained. "We were almost stretched to death."

"Then you're ready for the Underworld," I said. "It's only a block from here."

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Alice signing off.
XOXO.