Let Them In (Book 3.0) -INTERSEX

Chapter 15

Faith

As I sit in my college business class, I can't seem to focus on the lecture. I barely register the words coming from my professor, a middle-aged woman with short, curly hair and glasses that seem to always be perched on the tip of her nose. The classroom is filled with students, and the buzz of their voices blends together into a dull hum that fades into the background of my thoughts.

It's been a week and a half since Teagan and I fought over the Plan B box, and she's been avoiding me ever since. I've tried to call her, text her, anything to get her to talk to me, but she just won't respond. Each day that goes by without hearing from her feels like a punch to the gut.

The business class I'm in covers marketing strategies and how to apply them to various industries. Today, we're discussing the importance of target audience research, but my mind keeps wandering back to Teagan. The professor writes on the whiteboard at the front of the room, her voice a monotonous drone that does little to hold my attention. The classroom itself is a standard college setup – rows of desks, a projector, and a few motivational posters on the walls.

My emotions have been all over the place this past week, and the fact that Teagan hasn't answered any of my attempts to contact her only adds to the weight of the situation. I can't shake the feeling that I messed up, that I pushed her away with my actions. I've tried to rationalize it in my head, reminding myself that it was my body and my choice, but it's still hard to accept that I may have hurt her deeply.

I didn't even take the pills. I threw them away, but she wouldn't let me explain. I understand why she's upset, but if she had just listened to me, she'd know that I didn't go through with it.
I haven't been able to pick her up from her school like I'm used too. I'm sure she's been getting rides with her friends or walking, but it still stings that I'm no longer a part of her daily routine.

The monday after our fight, I went to pick her up from her house, but Aunt Adelaide informed me that she had already left with Landon and his friends. My heart sank, but I couldn't give up so easily.

That same day, I decided to wait for her in the parking lot after the final bell. I spotted her walking out of the building, surrounded by her friends. She caught sight of me, and our eyes locked for a brief moment. In that instant, I wanted nothing more than to jump out of my car and run to her, to beg for her forgiveness and make everything right again. But I couldn't make a scene – not here, not now.

She turned away and continued walking, heading straight for another car without so much as a glance back in my direction. It felt like a slap in the face, a clear indication that she wanted nothing to do with me. After that day, I stopped trying to pick her up, resigned to wait for the day she would finally reach out to me again.

I absentmindedly doodle in my notebook. I miss her so much, and the silence between us is slowly eating away at me. I glance around the classroom, noticing my classmates taking notes and participating in the discussion.

A wave of emotions washes over me, and I feel the sting of tears threatening to spill over. I blink them back, not wanting to draw attention to myself. The professor's voice snaps me back to reality, and I realize she's calling on me to answer a question. I manage to stammer out a partially coherent response, feeling the heat of embarrassment coloring my cheeks. She acknowledges that the answer is correct and proceeds with the class.

As the class goes on, I find myself sinking further into despair. How much longer will this silence last, how much longer will I be left in limbo, waiting for her to forgive me?