Let Them In (Book 3.0) -INTERSEX

Chapter 27

Hope

It's been two days since Iris got upset over me, saying I wasn't ready for kids. We still hang around each other, but she's quieter with me. Doesn't hold prolonged conversations or make eye contact. Which isn't like her because she is usually just as lively as Imani.

I took Imani to her appointment today. That gremlin is quite the company. We still argue about the little things, though. She's very opinionated for a kid. Or maybe I'm the opinionated one. Who knows. But I don't know how I feel about calling Imani my child. Because she's not, she's Iris and Julian's daughter. And I'm just... a friend to her. Or whatever. I don't know.

But I don't think she'd ever see me as a mother or father figure. Just an adult that clowns around with her and buys her cool shit. I don't even think I can see myself as a parent yet.

I went from not committing to anyone and wrapping my willy to playing house and stepdaddy. I'm not going to lie, though; being in Iris and Imani's presence makes me happy. When I'm not at Serenity's working, I am here with them.

"Mani, go get ready for bed," she says, and Mani wipes her hands and strolls away from the table. Iris grabs everyone's plate and goes to the sink to clean them.

We're at her apartment tonight. We switch depending on what part of the town we are in during the day. I wouldn't say I like her living here, but she refuses to move even if I said I would help pay the costs.

I know she was pissed that I paid off her debt and helped Imani with medical expenses. But I don't like to see her struggle. If I could do more for her, like buy her a car or house, I would, just to see that bright smile on her face. But of course, she refuses.

She sulks around the kitchen, putting everything away. I want to help like the OCD person I am, ensuring every dish gets cleaned correctly and placed in the cabinet at the right angle. But I don't want to make her more upset with me.

"Mommy, I'm ready!" Imani shouts, running back into the kitchen with a stuffed frog in her hand.

"Okay, come here so I can give you a dose of insulin before bed." We forgot to give her the insulin before dinner. We're supposed to administer it beforehand so her body can avoid experiencing high blood sugar levels after eating. But we're still adjusting to her having an insulin pump, and sometimes, these oversights happen.

She stands there shaking her head.

"No? What do you mean by no Mani? You don't want your medicine?" Iris asks. But Imani points to me with begging eyes. "You want Hope to give you your meds?" her pouting ceases, and she nods.

Iris sighs and gestures for Imani to come to me, then returns to cleaning the kitchen. She rushes over, sticking out her belly for me to assist her. I take the pump from her pajama pants, pressing a few buttons before the insulin flows through a tube into her abdomen.

Imani claims she can't feel the liquid, but sometimes it makes her feel 'woozy,' as she states. Evelyn explained that it's her body regulating the highs and lows. She occasionally experiences sweats and headaches, and the tape from the CGM monitor causes a rash.

She's a champ, though. It's heartbreaking to watch someone so young go through this, yet she never lets it dampen her spirits or hinder her activities. She always has a smile on her face.

"Okay, Little Bambi, all done." I reattach the pump to her pants, and she dashes over to her mother.

"Night, Mommy, love you."

"Night, baby." She kisses her forehead, and Imani runs to her room, but not before sticking her tongue out at me. And, of course, I do it back. It's our ritual to say goodbye or goodnight. Or just about any time I make her upset, she sticks her little tongue at me. Which is all the time.