Koi ࿊ Martial

His Heart

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"Resh" Kami ♍️

Marshal Wallace ♊️

Resh

"Fo sho," I lift my chin.

Salad, Turkey salami, dressing-

I pause when I notice all her stuff overflowing the fridge. My heart drops.

Even her green tea?

I shake my head and snap myself out of it.

"Yo bro," I notice Marsh tryna get my attention.

"Y-yeah nigga," I fake laugh.

Fuck.

It puts a knot in my stomach.

Snap out of it Resh.

Marsh smiles real wide like a lil kid.

"Is that Turkey salami my guy?"

"Yuppppp," I laugh.

"I haven't had salami since I stopped eating pork and beef mane. You that nigga," he picks it up and looks at it.

"Yo hands clean?" I point my knife at him.

He gives me a stank ass face.

"Do better. Gimme mo credit. Finger nails clean and errthing," he bucks.

"Yeah ight. Don't make me tell yo nigga," I joke, open the cabinet, then grab a plate.

"Don't make me tell yo girlfriend-"

I whole start fumbling the glass plate and almost drop it on the floor. Marsh laughs at me, but the shit ain funny. I force myself to fake laugh again.

Fuck... this what she be feeling like when it happens to her?

"Fuck outa here pipsqueak," I force a smile and buck.

"All jokes mannnn," Marsh leans on the counter.

I cut up rinsed tomatoes, then put them in a bowl with chopped romaine.

"Where's Sea anyways?" He sighs.

"I don't know," I make myself say.

I force myself not to sigh.

As the days pass I get tenser and more heavy feeling...

"Koi said-"

"Ion think you should tell me what Koi said," I cut him off.

"Oh... I wasn't tryna gossip or nun. It's just that y'all mad tight. I just was checking on her ya feel me? Sea so jolly go lucky... oh, oh, oh It's magick. You knowww face ass," he makes it hip hop by beating on the table.

I blink stressful tears away and fake laugh again.

This is torture. My fucking heart gettin ripped outa my chest all over again.

I get more and more annoyed.

Is annoyed the right word?

My entire chest starts burning and my eyes start hurting from keeping the tears in.

I hate myself. Finna cry over a bitch that did me dirty. I didn't deserve that... but still. Still Im here-

Marsh keeps innocently talking like the Gemini he is. He grabs a fork and steals and tomato.

I don't mind listening at all. I'm big on listening, but I just-

"And! She said I'm the cutest besty. I ain never had a best friend for real... or even a good friend at that. I'm just worried... you just mad lucky. All of y'all are," his words trigger me.

I cut the fuck outa my finger and drop the knife on the floor. My eyes widen from the leaking gashes.

"Oh shit," he grabs my wrist and moves me to the sink.

He grabs paper towels fast as fuck and puts pressure on my fingers.

"My fucking heart dropped," he says.

When he looks up at me he jerks his head back in shock.

"It hurt...? You crying over this? Koi takes his scars really personally  so no disrespect," he says.

I try to suck up my tears but I can't.

I didn't even know I was crying.

Trying to speak leads to nothing coming out. My mouth feels sewn shut. My teeth feel glued together; hurt travels through me.

I ain wanna feel it, but I do.

I take a deep shaky breath and carefully wipe my face with my arm. Marsh looks out the window into the cafe then back at me.

"Bro... are you okay?" He asks.

I can't speak.

"Do I need to leave you alone? You should go to the infirmary," he says quietly.

I nod while looking down at my blood. Tears hit my fresh wounds. The pain doesn't come close to how I actually feel...

...what I've been running from feeling.

I blow out air while trying to collect myself.

"It's not the cut is it?" Marsh asks carefully.

I shake my head while crying.

"Come on g. I'll walk you to the peoples. Can I take that salami though?" He asks.

A real laugh comes from me.

Thank you Marshal.

I can finally speak while smiling through my tears.

"Yes nigga. Eat the salami," I savor the small window of happiness he just brought me.

I'm sick... my heart sick.

Ole lil ass chapter 😭