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"Sea" Gazella ♓️
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"Resh" Kami ♍️
Sea
I kick my legs and bang my fists into the mattress while having a tantrum on my back. I let a big sigh go, then look at my phone. My eyes are watery and I'm really having a moment.
"It's the lil white things," I call em what Resh calls em.
I grunt and groan trying not to cry. I try my hardest... my very, super duper, hardest not to touch my-
"Lady glockkkkk," I grab the pillow next to me, then holler into it.
I catch myself off guard when the shit actually works.
Breathe.
I sigh.
"I need some sweets... and a green tea; no lies," I sigh.
I rest my hand on my belly while gripping the sheets.
"First thing in the morning, I'm calling room service. Done deal," I say to myself.
That'll hold me over. I'm super emo right now. I'm upset because I miss Resh, but I'm super upset that I'm lying to him...
"And-and-and on top of that..."
I look down in my sweats then lay my head back some with my eyes still on my privates. My head is literally pocking out my undies. It's tucked up, not down, because-"
"I'm hard."
Resh
I close my eyes and imagine me hittin it.
Her nipples all milk chocolate and shit. Titties jiggling and shit.
"Ahh," I look down at my hand.
She be suckin me up and taking mad dick like crazy. Puttin in hella effort like-
"Shit mamas," I sigh with my eyes closed.
Just imagine if I had her on FaceTime yooo.
"Shitttt," I beat the nut out my shit.
I love you, bruh.
"Uhha," I freeze up.
This is not sumn I do for real...
I sigh while I relax and look through the darkness of this room I'm in.
"Oh my god..." I laugh at myself.
Sea got this strong ass hold on me, my nigga.
Sea
I want him to seeee.
I lick my lips, but keep my bottom lip tucked and bite it. My face gets real tingly and my chest lights up.
"Ooo," I start shooting goo, but it's very little.
I make a confused face and sigh while looking down at myself through the dim light coming from the street poles.
"What... ugh," I lay my head back real defeated while feeling incompetent and broken.
Dang...
"All that build up for nothing," I complain about the weak ass nut I just bussed.
I close my eyes, thinking about Resh, not even in just a sexual way, but this... this weak at meat beatin just made it worse.
I shouldn't of been touching myself anyways. I'm sure I didn't reach a good peak because I'm out here lyin yet again.
I get up, go to the bathroom and clean myself up. I wash my hands, then turn the light on to look at myself. I'm flustered and am scruffy.
"You will not be a bad girlfriend ever again," slips out my mouth to myself.
I stare at myself in my big cropped shirt and my sweats. Lacey underwear grip my upper hips. My pants hang off them. My shoulders fall.
Post nut shame. Post nut clarity, even though I knew. Shame in general. Loser ass shit. I wanna be better than this, for me and for him.
Ummm okay. I pulled this outa my coochie oochie oola walla snatch. Lil chapters have been relieving some of the stress of filling chapters up. Thoughts?
