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"Resh" Kami ♍️
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"Sea" Gazella ♓️
Resh
Whew I need my shit cut for real. It's getting too long.
I run my brush over my hair, tryna keep my waves in the right directions while I wash it.
"I might just treat myself," the bristles going over my hair feel good as fuck.
I go silent and find my mental wandering.
There's a lot on my mind. I honestly never thought about my family so much until now.
I slouch and lean back with my weight on my heels just a lil bit while the warm water hits me. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror through the almost foggy glass, then pause.
Why do I feel so weird bruh?
I stand up straight and look down at my brush. Thoughts about my family keep pouring into me.
My momma... I don't really remember her. My grandmotha told me she was like my pops. If that's true... then she ain really shit just like him right?
Uncomfortable thoughts trigger me. I shake my head, tryna shake them away, but they keep coming and going and coming.
Them times of being a fat lil nigga tastin all my daadee's cookin... times of being loved, spoiled, and dressed as best as she could afford. I love my grandma... she was that nigga for real.
My thoughts make me laugh.
I see her running her hands through my hair, conditioning and oiling it with coconut.
My hair was different from my grandmas, but she still took care of it. She loved it, even though it was different from her's and my dad's.
Remembering how my hair was reminds me of my lady.
Lil Ms. Kawaii Mami wit the curly messss. I just wanna play in it while hugging up with her.
"I'd never go that long... ever. Not even enough to grip for real. A couple of inches?" I start rinsing my shampoo out.
I catch myself.
"Nigga the fuck? You not growing your hair out..." I shake my head.
Big waves laid. Panty dropppaaa- shit, what would Sea think?
"Hm?" I finish up and step out.
What would Sea say about how I'm feeling right now? I miss her... a lot. I love her. I'm in love with her. She loves me too...
I dry off, starting with my face. I can't stop smiling.
"Sea lovvveeesss me. For liferssss," I copy her tone at the end.
She wouldn't care... if I didn't have waves. She's not the type too, right?
"Oh, oh, oh it's magick... head ass," I get butterflies.
Hm?
"What would she think if I just-"
I run my fingers through my hair in the opposite direction of how I've been brushing it for years. Big loops curl onto themselves a lil bit.
People would ask questions... would they?
I see the boy I used to be for a split second before becoming uncomfortable, then brush that shit down immediately.
I love when Sea runs her fingers down my shit. She's always hella careful too. She does it in the right direction and everything.
"Noo thank you," I laugh, but the jokes soon morph into shame.
That feeling in my belly?
The butterflies are gone. It's something else there now.
You're fearing change? Innocent change.
"Is it just change though, Resh? Sea's gonna appreciate me regardless, so it's not just about the hair," I admit to myself.
I look at myself in the mirror and realize I've been making excuses for real. I'm making excuses to cover up how I really feel. I look down at the sink, missing my grandma.
I so sorry daadee...
Sea
My heart starts pumping super fast while the phone rings. I stare at myself in the mirror. My eyebrows knit.
I'm so nervous.
"Hello, Paradise Suites. How can I help you?"
"Hi!" I blurt out.
Um... um... uh.
"Hello, how can I help you?" They ask, all cheery.
Well... uh...
"I'm calling to confirm a delivery for a Mr. Kami," I lie.
"A Mr. Kami?" They ask.
I squeeze my eyes shut while my heart drops.
... should I have used his name? I mean- I don't know if he's using his birth first name so that's why I just said Kami-
"We don't have a Kami in our system?"
I stand from the edge of the tub then walk out of the bathroom.
What? He could be at a different one right?
"Well- um, is there any way you you could search your other building's information? We have a Mr. Kami to deliver to in Paradise Suites," I try.
"No ma'am. So sorry. We don't have that. You'd have contact that person so they can confirm or revise the address," their words break my heart.
Awee mannn.
I plop down on the bed.
"Okayyy... thanks," I pout, forgetting all about the professional act I was supposed to uphold.
"Have a great day," they say.
"You too," I hang up.
I lay back on my bed and sigh.
How many Paradise Suites are there?
I start tapping away at my phone.
"I'll call every single one of them mufuckas too... swear to god," I mumble.
Little chapters have been so liberating. Thoughts? 😅
