Niragi X Chishiya One-Shots

Why'd You Leave Me..?! (Angst)

Chishiya's POV
——————-
I haven't understood yet. Haven't understood what had happened, how it happened, what went wrong, how it went wrong, who did what, how'd it all end...?

My thoughts racing, I have never understood. I will never know, I feel as if all of it is crashing down on me like a big building as the debris hits you smack in the face.

He won't be there to help me understand, he's back with his fiancé, the fiancé he's had before he came here.

It feels as if it's all dawning on me at this very moment, the whole thing. It feels like the vibrations of a big bell getting rung.

I let out a shaky breath. It feels like I can't breathe, trapped underground or under water. Something pulling me down, my mind spiraling into deeper thoughts.

What had happened? How'd this all go down? Why did it happen? Did it have to happen like this..? It doesn't make any sense towards me. None at all.

I stayed in my room, the room I let him stay in while he stayed here for those six long weeks. I sat curled up with his shirt on. I hoped it will always smell like him. But, it wont. It will run out of the smell like a flower running out of water and sunlight, slowly fading away to death.

It pained me, he left. All that is left of his existence, memories and his shirt. Occasional talk about him from my parents.

They had known I liked him, known I liked a guy. It hurt, did they know he had a fiancé? Had they been asked by him to not say anything and act surprised in front of me?

So what? I wouldn't feel hurt...? No, he wouldn't care that much. I was an experiment for him, to see how it felt for him. Like a rag or a towel being used only when needed just to be thrown somewhere until needed again.

I gasped, it felt so hard to breathe. Like something was sitting on my chest, or wrapped around my neck, choking me.

I grasped at his shirt, trying to breathe normally again. I felt the tears rushing down my face like ocean waves, moving rapidly and harshly sometimes during a storm.

When I had cried that one time, when I didn't want him to leave, the pit in my stomach and the anxiety of him leaving me behind.

He had comforted me, hugged me. As if we weren't in an intimate moment a few moments before. He didn't care, it felt like we were real lovers. That could stay together forever.

That isn't how it went down though. He left, left me, left his shirt, left all these memories with a broken me.

I feel like a broken record, barely getting any words out the whole time. Not being able to be repaired. Not being able to be the person I once was because of one thing that had happened.

I sunk back down into the bed, looking out the windows, it was night outside. Some animals could be heard outside.

I wonder how he's doing right now. Knowing I'm here, hoping, begging, desperate for him to come back.

Even for one moment, just for him to tell me to move on, that I truly was a mistake. That he just wanted to experiment with the same sex. That I was never truly someone he actually loved like that.

But he would never do that. With his stupid handsome self. He would never do that, he would comfort me if he were here. Tell me it's okay.

As if it were okay. He wouldn't want me to move on, he would want me to suffer. To be tortured, like I was tied to a chair on the brink of death. Barely holding on.

I'll never understand how it all happened, why it happened. That's okay, I'll always be clinging to his shirt, to the past, the memories of what happened.

To him, he would move on, get married, have kids. A perfect family. She is probably really pretty, loving and sweet.

I'm the opposite of her then. Maybe that's why he didn't like me. Maybe he couldn't stand the fact I wasn't like her. She was a pretty flower while I was the flower with a broken stem.

He couldn't stand me, he couldn't stand the fact I was a boy, I was a weak boy who talks down on myself, a boy who liked to read books, a boy who barely considered his friends, his friends.

I hoped his fiancé and him were good, they didn't fight or have to cry into each others arms at the other one leaving them.

It hurts, knowing that I will never move on, I'll be trapped in this dark, cold room that he called his room for six weeks.

While he was in a warm house, with his fiancé, kids soon and a comfortable home that had a loving couple in it.

I rolled around in the sheets, the sheets we had sex in, the sheets we had cuddled in afterwards. The sheets that he slept in, the sheets that cling to his sweaty body afterwards.

I remember the train station, how that was our last moment together, the last memory we will ever have together. The last time I ever saw his face, that wasn't in mind. The last time I got to touch him, skin to skin contact.

I'll never truly understand, understand why he truly left, if he was happy, if he truly cared about me, if he loved me at all. If he felt even the slightest bit of sadness or guilt for leaving a weak boy, who had loved him so dearly alone.

Why did you leave me..?!
——————-
A/N

I know someone told me not to write like this ever again or something but, listen I couldn't help it. I feel so much like beauty in the characters that are originally written with this. And so I just change it up for this book and so I can share it with you guys. You guys are getting more chapters though! Be grateful!! Stay safe and hydrated!! :) <3.