Kiss Your Crϋe Goodbye (A Kiss & Mӧtley tale)

Chapter 20: For Once in My Life (Mick Mars)

What can I say about the first time Eric, and I made love? He asked me.... that was huge, he surprised himself, he surprised me in the best of ways. It was both romantic and HOT, it was sweet & Fire, it was perfect. I didn't know then I'd gotten him pregnant our first time together and sadly I wouldn't know officially for months and well you will see. For once in my life, I was happy, I Mick Mars was happy and in love....and what you will soon find is this is the calm before the storm before I would for a time lose everything, I held dear.

Eric has just fallen asleep, his head on my chest.... he is worn out from our love-making session and for once in my life, for the first time EVER it was making love. It was feeling love.... i can hardly believe this is real, but the feel of his skin.... his long blond mane, I am gently running my fingers thru....it all assures me this IS real. He took me by surprise, shy....and unsure, afraid at first.... but he trusted me, and I trusted him.... I took time, took care not to hurt him. Certain behaviors of his...clued me into how he was treated during sex with those monsters....and when I get ahold of them...well none of that matters right now.

"Eric.... i love you.... i love you, it was meant for me to find you for you to be here with me.... things I never thought would happen. True, I wish it had of been better circumstances we'd met under...the point is you SEE me, and I will never ever give up on you baby, that's a fucking promise." I whispered, tears in my eyes. I hold Eric...feeling the warmth of him and I at last drift off to sleep......

I find myself waking up, never mind the time and find Eric is very much asleep...softly snoring and it hits me:

This is the first time he's been in my room, the first time that I've held him in my arms like THIS, SHARING a bed together....and I find that I love it. No nightmares as far as I know with Eric, for the first time he didn't wake up screaming or I didn't hear the creek of his door, as he'd head to a safe spot...he doesn't know I know, or maybe he does......all that matters right now, is the man I have here in my arms....

Eric soon begins to stir and his sleepy crystal blues open and find my eyes, his filling with tears....

"Micky? This.... isn't a dream, right? Last night.... really happened?"

"It's real, so real." I whisper, "How do you feel?"

"Sore.... last night was I mean; I've never felt like that before or done things that way. It means so much to me." Quietly now, tears spilling down his cheeks which I thumb away.

"I've got you.... how about a bath? May help those sore muscles.... i was worried I hurt you." I mutter on the last part frowning I can tell. A gentle hand on my face now...

"You didn't.... i think there may be some bruises...but Mick, you didn't hurt me. I trusted you; I DO trust you....and a bath sounds wonderful." Softly and his eyes fill with worry, "Are YOU ok? You're back?"

I kiss him gently, before it grows more passionate....

"You numb my pain, Sapphire." I reply. Eric shyly waits in the bed, while I get the bath started for him and come back to help him out of bed and I hear his blissful sighs and then the unmistakable sound of tears, I feel I need to be with him but want to respect his privacy....so I quickly change the sheets, and take a shower in his guest bathroom as I come back to find Eric wrapped in a robe of mine, waiting on the bed and I take him in my arms. "I-I wanted.... i heard you crying...I felt I needed to be with you, but I wanted to respect your privacy." I confess and add on, "And I'm sorry---"

Eric cuts me off leaning against me, "Mick...stop.... this is...all new to me, to you. I know you don't want to make me uncomfortable or trigger me. It means a lot you respect me so much, my privacy."

There is something more to his words, a note of underlying.... FEAR....my heart breaks....

"It is new to us both Eric." I agree with him, "remember you can always, always tell me anything but I won't push you, you know that. I love you so much...and that will never change.... Now, how about some clothes huh? And then we can fix something to eat maybe or do whatever you want?" Eric nods.

"Ok Micky Ok." Eric surprises me, though I shouldn't be when shyly he asks if its ok if he wears my clothes, t-shirt and sweatpants that fit him...because he's slightly shorter than me but he tells me after he's dressed, "Thank you." And then seems unsure as he says, "I-I don't know what you'll think of me...saying this, but um I love the way your clothes smell...um you smell. You smell like lemons, vodka, and leather....to me and its very soothing."

"I THINK I love hearing that." I reply, as both of us dress and head downstairs to the kitchen and realize it's in the afternoon, not that I will complain. "So, what do you want to do today?"

Eric taps his finger against his chin which only serves to draw attention to his lips.... Focus Mick!

"I would.... love to bake something, maybe play drums later...." And here he blushes heavily, "Um...could we...I mean...I've never.... I..."

I can't help but take him in my arms and I get his true message loud and clear, he again surprises me but in the best of ways, I know where his heart is....

"Tell you what Eric, why don't we eat first....and if I am right, you want me to make love to you again?" Getting right to the point, but then I find myself saying, "I would love that, whatever you want to do first sapphire." I get worried when he bursts into tears, and I frantically try and soothe him. Something has been trigged.... please Eric, open to me.... It's ok baby, I'm right here, right here always.

"I-I.... sorry...I.... I mean that...wouldn't make me a whore, right?" Eric stammers crying, voice small and refusing to look at me.

"Eric...." Eric whimpers and it breaks my heart, gently I tilt his chin up to where he's looking at me. "You are not a whore, nor could you ever....and no baby it doesn't make you a whore wanting me again like that, wanting to have sex....no not sex make love...either way, I promise you it wouldn't make you a whore. You don't truly know what last night means to me Eric, and you asking me to make love to you? No one before you WANTED me to touch them more than once if at all.... like sex. I had an ex.... she was.... a bitch, still it hurt because I felt unwanted, not good enough. The point is you never have to ask, but if you do NEVER be afraid to ask."

"I want to feel you Micky, I wanna feel your heart.... just make me forget, please." Eric whispers.

"I love you...." I whisper kissing him, pouring everything I have into it, as I take him by surprise and carry him upstairs, him burrowing into my embrace....

So yes, we made love again....and little did I know, I'd already gotten him pregnant and before long he'd have an encounter with those BASTARDS and I wouldn't know the details for some time, but Eric would have an encounter that would leave him shaken to his core and would end up for a time taking him from me. He wouldn't tell me, but I KNEW something was wrong, it really scared him, and he didn't want to see me or as it turns out our unborn child was hurt.

A/N: The day after, bitter-sweet, Eric opening up a little bit, and a taste of things to come. Next chapter sadly, Gene and or Paul or even both shall return and perhaps too, some time will have passed, and it shall be about I am thinking August and it will have been a month since Eric and Mick have been together.... Things are going to start really heating up, so stay tuned!