Kiss Your Crϋe Goodbye (A Kiss & Mӧtley tale)

Chapter 24: Kiss My Heart Goodbye (Mick Mars)

In the few days leading up to me for a time losing Eric to those bastards, those MONSTERS that got into his head, I was already worried about him. at the time, I knew something else was wrong with him...I didn't yet realize or hadn't found out he was pregnant with our first child: our daughter. He seemed more scared, clinging to me even more so and he looked pained, at times like he couldn't look at me. I saw the fear in his eyes....and it broke my heart, I KNEW it wasn't because he was afraid of me, he trusted me...his heart did. Still, it is fucking hurts what is sadly coming, and I wouldn't SEE him in person, feel him.... for months, or what felt like a lifetime. And I would keep my promises to him: I would never EVER give up on him. still, it also killed me to be without him....

Something is wrong, I KNEW something happened the other day when Eric went out and he was SO scared even more so when he came home.... But his behaviors for a while now.... Well, I'm not sure what is going on, all I know is he has needed me more than ever. the behaviors though: him getting sick, hearing the creek of his bedroom door at night.... Certain smells really seem to bother him, and he seems much more tired and weaker among other things, and he struggles to look at me, looking desperate that I will disappear or worse.... I am helping him the only way I know how: just to be there...I only wish there was something more I can do for him, but I can't and WON'T give up on my heart, Eric is my world.

Which brings us around to now: Eric crying not sobbing over the toilet as I hold his hair back, him heaving violently, as I try and soothe him. of all days, we have band stuff to do today....i've tried to tell him that Nikki and Vince would understand....him staying home, but he's insisted. And I will and could never tell him 'No', supporting him even if I don't have a good feeling or think it's a good idea.... I just love him is the best way I can explain.

Eric finally finishes and I help him up, helping him clean his mouth out and practically carry him back to...my bed, he'd begged me to make love to him last night and I did, because I would do anything for him...anything.

"Let me make some of that tea I made you the other day and see if that helps you....and.... are you sure Eric you want to do this?" I hesitate on the last part, as he drops his head and then raises his eyes to mine, looking VERY pained.... eyes full of fear and worry for me I can tell.

"I-I...don't want to let anyone down, anymore...don't want anyone to get hurt, Mick I couldn't live with myself, if something happened especially to you. I don't fucking deserve someone as wonderful as you are." Eric whispers, dropping his gaze again until I gently cup his face in my hands.

"You could never let me down, anyone down. I'm not going to get hurt I promise..." Eric flinches, "if its to protect you, I will...you are my life Eric and you deserve happiness, deserve the world and I will always, always love and support you even if I don't think you should do this. It's because I love you so much, and always will and NOTHING or no one will change that." I will kill those bastards!! Eric, I promise...I will get justice for you if it kills me!

I kiss him albeit tearfully, making sure he's resting before making the tea and racing back to him, he drinks it once it cools, and he clings to me afterwards.... i don't want to let him go and my bad feelings only increase as we finally head out.... Eric quietly groaned during the car ride, with his eyes closed.

We had an interview today, and Eric refuses once we get started to answer questions about Kiss, he barely talks looking like he could get sick again...I can feel him tremble next to me and mercifully for him, it doesn't last all that long.

Eric starts looking pale again and before he takes off, I hear him say, "I'm sorry Micky....so sorry...bathroom..." and then he is gone. Here is where they kidnap him and take him from me....and for a time these would be the last words I'd hear him speak....

"Eric! Eric waits...baby please!" I call after him, hoping, dreading, as I try and catch up to him, fear making my heart clinch and I am not fast enough or have been and I realize I'm crying, as I find the nearest bathroom and I realize he's not there and not to mention I'd sadly lost sight of him along the way. "Damn it.... please be here!" I cry not hearing a sound, but my own cries and I then hear the door opening and Nikki's and Vince's worried voices float to me....as I drop to my knees.

"Mick?!...God, what's...wrong? Its Eric...I know.... we passed some vomit along the way here." Vince's words give me pause and things start to click...slowly as Vince helps me up.

"Something's s-scared him.... something...happened the other day...he wouldn't tell me...and he's...I am telling you.... they've gotten to him.... he's.... he's GONE!" I break down at the realization of that. "I c-couldn't catch up to him.... i.... tried, he didn't make the bathroom....and...I wonder." I pause a moment and close my eyes before opening them, "Vince? He's acting like you did just.... well, I think he may be pregnant and if he is.... i hope he and the baby will be ok...and I swear I will fucking give those bastards what's coming to them for DARING to even think of laying a hand on him."

"Let's talk to some people around here and see if they've seen him and hopefully...hopefully he's still here and we will find him." Nikki says softly as he can and of course is in tears.

"Thanks kid.... i can't lose him.... he.... they had to have gotten in his head. We didn't exactly discuss having kids, but I wanted them...I want them with him. I want this baby of ours, he lost one....and I love that child he lost as my own, this is OUR rainbow baby if I am right...and I can't do all this alone." With that I turn on my heels, Vince and Nikki following as we begin our desperate search for Eric and along the way quizzing people or doing the equivalent of a shake down if you will, my heart breaks more and more for what Eric is going thru....but I will find him....and in the midst of our shake down, I observe.....and I threaten those that seem shady to me, and rightfully so...they don't want to talk....but oh I MAKE THEM TALK.

I will find you Eric, and I will get help.... make no mistake my dearest love, they will pay.... I won't rest until I have you back in my arms where you not only belong but DESERVE to be. You are my heart...you are my world and now....our child....if I am indeed right about that Sapphire, its OUR rainbow baby and I never thought I'd ever get to be a father, never thought I'd love anyone the way I love you....never thought, it would hurt so bad or imagined my heart would be ripped from me in this way. You didn't and don't deserve this.... you love me, I feel it...it's in your eyes.... you were slowly but surely healing....and I don't care how long it takes, I will do everything in my power to not only find you but to help you heal my love, I fucking swear to you.

A/N: A heart breaking and emotional chapter. Next chapter we will get a glimpse into what happened when Eric was taken and perhaps WHO exactly took him, well we KNOW who is behind it.... poor Eric and Mick.... i will tell you, the baby will end up ok. I promise.