The following....i wish to god, it hadn't have happened....it's STILL painful for me to talk about: for a time, losing Mick...discovering or realizing I was pregnant in august of 93, that beginning to show signs....but, I am also ultimately talking about: those MONSTERS...and my encounter with them that shook me and my world to its core....and that I kept from Mick, to try and protect him. Mick though ever my beloved alien, KNEW something was wrong....
Something is WRONG with me, and it scares the shit out of me.... It's August now, but back to the matter at hand. I've started to notice here lately, I'm super sensitive like with smells and the only scents I can stand, no LOVE is Mick's distinct scent. I'm starting to gain weight; my nightmares are getting worse....and I feel....
Suddenly and without warning, I clamp a hand over my mouth.... Mick, I think is in our studio maybe with Fox and Nikki, not sure...but I am desperate....to not.... i don't make the bathroom, my bathroom before I vomit all over the floor outside my bedroom and I can't stop, in tears....
Things have been busy the past month, Mick and I exploring one another, me trying to heal still, trying to figure out my feelings for Mick, and interviews and some band stuff...there have been good moments as well.... but i....NO.... this is just like when I was.... OH GOD!!!
"No...No...I can't be...." I groan, whimpering and sobbing. "Pregnant..." I choked out in a whisper, feeling dizzy. I'm scared...so scared, Mick what will he think? I'm still not used to being in an actual relationship, a loving one...I don't recognize things, some things. What if.... Gene and Paul find out? What am I gonna do? Although if I AM.... this time I know who the father is, and I could NEVER be ashamed to carry Mick's baby.... I...just am scared.
Before I can try to clean up my 'mess' I hear footsteps....and I start, sobbing. Until I FEEL Mick more than I see him....
"Eric?! Oh god, hey...its ok, I'm here, ok? C'mon, I'll clean this but first get you back in bed."
"S-Scared.... don't feel good. S-sorry...mm 'so sorry." I murmur tearfully. I'm still out of it, eyes closing feeling like I could get sick again as I feel Mick pick me up and carefully carry me to my bedroom....and I feel so tired......
I wake with a start, feeling sick again.... how much time has passed I have no clue...but THIS time I bolt out of bed to my bathroom, failing to notice Mick is right with me....as I begin to heave into my toilet, Mick holding my hair back, trying to soothe me.
"It's ok, I can feel you tremble baby, I know you're scared but I am here ok. I love you, Sapphire."
I don't respond, since still getting sick...and finally I stop, Mick helping me up and to clean my mouth out and soon I find myself back in bed, Mick reluctant to leave me...
"Micky, I'll be ok. Sides I know you'll come back to me." Mick kisses me, looking worried but promises to be back soon with some tea and when he comes back, I drink it down and I look at him, crying once again as he holds me. I must find out; I must know.... I need air. "Mick? C-Can I um get some air? I-I wanna go out."
Mick is silent a moment before speaking and his voice is filled with worry and he hesitates, "Eric? I'm worried about you, you're trembling....and you've gotten sick. You need to rest."
"Micky...PLEASE." I beg. Breaking down.
"Don't cry Sapphire, please.... I'm sorry to have upset you.... if you really want to, much as I don't like it, I won't stop you." Mick's answer shocks me to my core.
"You'd really be ok with that?" Wow, I'm not used to that....to this....
Mick gently cups my face in his hands, "Yes...I trust you Eric, and I love you. Just promise me you'll be careful and call me, find a pay phone if you must." I promise to do so, feeling like shit still but eventually after kissing a few minutes, I leave.... Mick was very reluctant to let me go.
In hindsight I should have listened to Mick because we have arrived at the point.... where things really start to go to hell.... i am warning you...
Mick had insisted on me taking his car, so I do and drive to the closest pharmacy not TOO far from our house, but not before having to pull over and puke....
Wow, at the store already? Feeling a bit dizzy, Mick WAS right, he was telling me in his way.... that he didn't want me to go, to stay.... but he loves me enough to let me do what I want even if it's a bad idea...Ok, Focus Eric! Breathing deeply now, finding the much-dreaded aisle with the pregnancy tests....and I gather snacks, I get a sudden craving for....
Ok, paying now, ignoring the looks I am getting, and I really must piss suddenly, which lucky me....
I ask desperately for a bathroom and am told they have one, I grab the tests I bought pocketing them, desperately trying to breathe and not piss myself.... quickly reaching the bathroom, I do what I need to, piss and take the tests.... that will likely change my life forever and I dread it....
Mick, what will he think? What will I do? Am I ashamed to have his baby? OUR baby? NO, NO I'm not.... it's just I am so afraid of losing this baby...possible baby, that it scares me. All of this is overwhelming as fuck, what if THEY find out? Micky, my micky.... he loves me......
I wait the amount of time that's needed for the pregnancy tests, I've taken, and I pick up each with trembling hands....and I feel the tears fall: positive, each, one is positive.
"No...God.... I'm pregnant." I breathe out, shakily I raise my shirt and feel my stomach.... The flesh is a bit firm and a wee bit rounded. "Micky...." I whisper. I pocket the tests and wash my hands, leaving the bathroom and finding my snacks and then suddenly I hear ONE of the voices that freezes my blood....NO!!!!!
"Is that YOU Eric?"
I look to see Paul Stanley and my eyes widen with shock....
"Paul." I breathe, "I...."
Paul never being one to beat around the bush cuts me off the tone silky, smiling but not with the eyes, "FANCY seeing you here Eric.... then again, been seeing you EVERYWHERE....and by the way, I was at your first show with that Mӧtley gang of freaks."
I knew it!!
"With Gene no doubt." I find my self saying and then snapping, "NONE of them are freaks Paul, they are wonderful human beings."
Paul laughs, "SURE.... just like that alien of YOURS." Paul's eyes are dark, and my blood once again turns to ice....
Paul and Gene could both see I'd find out, how much Mick cared about me and I realized with this encounter that I loved Mick, and I wanted to tell him...I was going to, but this happened and Paul would manipulate me and threaten to hurt Mick.....and I couldn't let that happen, Mick took care of me, and I decided I would take care of him....do whatever I had to keep him safe and our unborn child....
I won't give too much away just yet, but I will tell you...I was given time to say goodbye as it were to Mick....
A/N: sorry for the cliff hanger of sorts!! In any case, poor Eric struggling with his feelings, and he is pregnant again, this time with the Alien's child...with someone he loves or will realize he loves. Sadly, we have reached the inevitable...and for a period of time Eric will sadly be forced from Mick's side....
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Kiss Your Crϋe Goodbye (A Kiss & Mӧtley tale)
عاطفيةSummary: What if the tale is one that you never saw coming? That you could have imagined? Eric Singer can tell you that very well, in 1993 he leaves Kiss and ends up joining Mӧtley Crϋe as their drummer ultimately. Things though are never what they...
