Kiss Your Crϋe Goodbye (A Kiss & Mӧtley tale)

Chapter 22: I've Been Watching You

I continue to gape at Paul, barely holding back tears......I fucking KNEW it! I was worried about this, but I can't REGRET Mick. How he is with me, how he's always been....and now, I worry I will never get to tell my partner how I truly feel about him, because I find: I LOVE him...and fuck I have to realize that now of all times? How will I tell him? I get the worst feeling from this...

"---I saw how he was with you at your grand debut. Tell me Eric do you really think he'd love you, truly if he knew all the skeletons you have in your closet? And that's another thing...I've seen you in interviews, true you haven't outright said anything...but its implied." And I know exactly what Paul means and is getting at.

"You---You've had someone watching me, haven't you?" I stammer out, a look of triumph crosses his face, and it hits me that Mick is worried about me even more so now, been gone far too long.

"Bravo! The point is, you TOLD in some form or fashion...but you are nothing but a replacement once again, this can't last.... he can't treat you like I can. We've missed you and now...if you don't want your precious alien hurt, you'll come with me, I've learned from last time Eric.... I'll give you a couple of days....at least a week to say goodbye and you and I, Gene will be one big happy family."

"Paul.... please, you're WRONG...I..." I start to say before he cuts me off.

"If you want your precious alien to LIVE, you'll do it.... next time you go out, we will find you." My morning sickness is threatening to come back on me combined with the pain and the guilt. Turns out, Paul and or Gene LIED of course, about killing Mick...it was really all about ME, isolating me, trying to break me.... i had a child to fight for, and the man whose heart I thought I would break and lose forever...

Paul lets me go, with a hug of all things...and his touch makes my skin crawl and me flinch. Somehow I get in Mick's car, my cravings forgotten and high tail it home...shaken and desperate to try and calm myself, but I pull over and get sick, crying over that and the encounter that's taking everything away from me and upon arrival home....Mick is waiting for me, worried out of his mind, quickly taking me in his arms...my mind reeling...and my heart, heavy.

I just want to feel him.... just feel him.... i let.... Paul gets into my head, Mick's done so much for me...and I was going to tell him I loved him, he KNOWS though...but still will he love me once he knows? And I know Paul and Gene are capable of anything, and if I do this...Mick will live, and hopefully so will OUR child...the child, I was already afraid to tell him about...I just...don't deserve him....

Quick interjection here if you're wondering.... know this didn't affect or nearly make me lose the baby, SHE took after her father...strong, stubborn...a fighter.... i was underweight with her at least for a time.... but she'd be ok.... i didn't know this at the time all this took place....

"Eric, honey...you're scaring me...please. Tell me what's wrong. Either way I am gonna take care of you.... baby, please." Mick practically begs me; I refuse to budge...ashamed. What the hell am I gonna do? My greatest fears are coming true, this.... couldn't last forever, I should have known. I CAN'T risk Mick. "Eric, I can feel you trembling, I'm not angry. I just want you to be ok. Shh, I'm here, ok.... breathe...." Gently he rubs my back, I try to calm.... not just for my sake.

Mick gently cups my face in his hands, I bite back a sob....

"M-Micky...I...went to get some snacks.... i d-don't feel good...an' am scared." I mumble. "I C-Can't, tell you." I whispered miserably. Fear flashes in his eyes before they soften.

"Why don't I run you a bath? You can wear your favorite t-shirt of mine and sleep pants and then maybe something light to eat or whatever you want I'll fix. I'm just gonna take care of you, ok?" I nod. I fear you not loving me anymore after this, you've revealed your skeletons as it were to me Mick, but mine...are another matter.

Before I realize it, I find myself in my bathroom, Mick getting the shower started...having quickly gathered his clothes and I ask for his sweatshirt, softly he kisses me and brings it and towels.

"Micky? Thank you.... you're.... I mean..." Unable to find more words.

"I promise I will never give up on you...if you need me.... i will fucking come running sapphire." Another kiss and I am alone as I strip and step carefully into the shower, the tears once more coming....as I close my eyes bracing myself as I get dizzy, breathing in and out deeply....the spell passes but the nausea hits me like a freight train, and I get sick in the shower....gross, somehow I manage to shower and wash myself, hair included....eyes constantly on my ever so slightly rounded stomach and my hips which are a bit more filled out than they were.

I step out, feeling weak and tired...emotionally and physically spent...barely managing to dry my long blond mane as sluggishly I dress in Mick's clothes he left for me, carefully I touch my stomach, whispering....

"I'm sorry sweetheart.... for being such a mess, for.... not telling your father about you, I want to protect you, and sadly that means playing along with monsters. I don't want your father to be hurt, they want to take him from me. I CAN'T let that happen. I hope you know; I love you...I love you....and I will never be able to tell your father how I really feel about him."

I dry my tears and drop the t-shirt and head to my room, to find Mick waiting for me.... with a tray of food.

"I've been here a bit, I made something light.... some soup, your favorite kind and I know how much you love those cucumber sandwiches with the dill."

"Thank you..." I whisper, Mick helps me eat....and I can barely keep my eyes open, and I can't eat it all, I try...

"Oh Eric, you are so tired baby.... come on, let's get you in bed huh?" I commit every touch, every sound from him to memory. I can't fucking believe I'm back at square one....

Mick carefully helps me in bed, and I swear before I give into sleep, I hear him say:

"I love you.... i wish I could take away your pain, remember you always have my heart and nothing and I mean nothing could ever NOT make me love you anymore."

My husband, my alien...kept his promise then and now, he always did and has. It was one of the hardest and scariest things I've ever had to do, being forced or torn from his side...struggling with hiding my pregnancy, not telling Mick I loved him....that I realized just how much, not telling him about our baby....and I struggled, STRUGGLED with saying goodbye to him and with what I thought were forever my last days with him that was true even more so. If you're wondering, and I'll go ahead and tell you.... thank god, my daughter had Mick's spirit and stubbornness...despite all odds, she would end up ok....

Here we are the most heart breaking, bitter-sweet...painful days of my life, we've reached the inevitable.

A/N: Forgive me for this.... Sadly, the time is VERY near for Eric being taken from Mick and for a time they will be apart, not forever I promise. Mick, I will tell you will move Heaven and Hell and will keep his promises to Eric.