Kiss Your Crϋe Goodbye (A Kiss & Mӧtley tale)

Chapter 25: Now I'm Gone Part 1

My kidnapping.... I knew it was coming, I just didn't know where and when.... the last time, and it being yet another fateful day...but the last time I saw my husband, forever haunts me. I remember, there being an interview.... vaguely, and as always being asked questions about Kiss. I remember feeling a combination of that ever-present fear, morning sickness, sadness and Paul's threat/ultimatum hanging over my head like a storm cloud.... what a fucking storm indeed. The morning sickness reared its head, the last time as I said that I thought I'd ever see my husband, my Micky. I told him I was sorry.... i WAS, I suppose for running off.... because of course Paul getting into my head...again, he ran after me.... Mick did. I however, outran him getting sick along the way, I DID mean to go the bathroom when Gene...Yes Gene popped out of the shadows WITH Paul, me being threatened that Mick would be hurt.... killed if I made a further sound and at the time neither remarked on my getting sick. They took me, they TOOK me from Mick....and I wondered if he'd still love me then, but THAT was my being manipulated. Naturally, and I should have known that Paul and Gene would not want me anywhere in California, certainly not in LA. And so that's how I wound up in New York. 1000's of miles from my heart.... hiding my pregnancy, isolated from everyone and everything except THOSE FUCKING MONSTERS and their emotional abuse, fighting for soul and sanity.... trying, trying.... where you next see me two weeks will have passed, and I'd be about a month and a half into my pregnancy....

Everyday.... everyday I've cried...since Paul and Gene kidnapped me, every night.... i wake up in tears, screaming Mick's name.... every night and day, drowning in darkness. The plane ride here was on Kiss' private jet, and it brought back some VERY unpleasant memories. I had no say, no voice, and the taunts they came back...those damned smiles on them both, that didn't reach the eyes...and I am isolated here in upstate New York, one of Gene's private wooded properties....no one for miles, and I have no idea where the fuck I am. All I know is I'm not with Mick, and I wonder does he still thinks of me? Love me? Why can't I ever feel that I am good enough for him? Part of him is inside me, his heart is within me...and I am desperate to hide it.... the only light now in my life....

I am in a prison, a cold.... gilded prison.... I've got bruises from Paul losing his temper and Gene BOTH...they haven't yet 'had their way with me' and I hope to GOD they don't...., However, the baby seems to be ok and in this I hope they are taking after their father: Mick...And my belly has grown...though I am very sure I am not as big as I should be....which can't be good for the baby that I am so desperate to have...and to keep secret from my captors.

I am brought out of my inner monologue and tremble in fear as the door is opened....and I curl up as best I can as in walk my tormentors, and the tears...they come.

"Oh Eric, didn't you MISS us?" Paul's tone is gentle, yet I detect the underlying menace, the superiority he embodies and then he sneers, "Crying and in bed.... again, is that all you ever do?"

I hang my head in shame before I reply, my voice small and trembling, "I...I... I j-just....am s-sick...please...please, I... I've been g-good..."

I feel my chin grabbed roughly, Paul's grip I know will leave bruises as I wince....and flinch as he 'tenderly' strokes my face.

"Still....so clumsy with your words...oh Eric, SURE you've been good. And... I don't get it, you.... are STILL getting fat, despite not eating much......" Please, PLEASE.... DONT take my baby from me!! Please....

Gene who has been silent finally speaks up, "You're lucky Eric.... Luckily, it's us and not someone else. Money and power have their perks...no one else including those Mӧtley freaks can touch us." Arrogant fucking assholes!!! Evil arrogant assholes.

Paul clears his throat my chin still in his iron grip, "Now I suppose you're wondering why we haven't had 'fun' with you aren't you? As I've told you before, you little slut...I've learned from before and we've decided here...you will stay, in this place and you're NOT worth our special attentions. You will never run.... Where would you go? All the doors are locked from the outside as...for air? You MAY use the balcony.... you will never climb down, be able to...no one is to see you.... or your precious alien WILL die" My heart clenches in fear at hearing those words and the tears still fall.... like a raging river. Paul then 'smiles', "For all you know...he's already gone back to the planet he came from."

"NO..." I whisper.

"Paul don't tease him.... we've got to go.... got that tour to rehearse for an all-back in..." Here Gene gives a look of triumph, "My place Beverly Hills or is It LA...and Eric? When you are given food, electricity water...when the food is delivered, you are not to be seen.... remember that."

Mercifully they are gone....and I break down, as I hear the door opening and closing...me locked in my gilded prison....my mind reeling......

How long will they be gone on this tour? When will they come back? I hope never...yet I wish someone would find me. I... Mick can't be gone.... he can't.... Paul's lying so is Gene...but I don't even know what's going on...if Mick is looking for me. I feel.... this isn't over.... breathe, breathe...Eric, you have a child to live for.... a child you feel you don't deserve, but very much want...need even.

I gently rub my little rounded stomach, the beginnings of a baby bump to calm myself....feeling so broken....so exhausted but also so fucking hungry...so slowly, I make my way carefully down to the kitchen and make some tea with honey and lemon and toast with jelly...like a big pile and eat about half of it...and soon stumble my way back upstairs, needing a shower.....so I take one and get dizzy leaning my head against the cold tile of the shower wall.

"Micky...I miss you.... god, I miss you....i am SO sorry my love.... that I never told you how I really feel about you....i don't feel like I'm worthy of you...nor our child.... but that's wrong of me to think...I am just.... lost all over again....i am TRYING so hard to remember your advice, those precious words of wisdom." I close my eyes, feeling the tears yet again fall...as the spell passes, and I get out and dry changing into sleep clothes and I immediately drop off to sleep and I dream...I dream of Mick....

It's dark, I'm in a dark space...curled up, I can't see what's before me, I feel guitar callused hands caress my face.... the scent of lemons, leather and vodka permeate the space...and I feel safe...so safe.... i know this scent, I know these hands.... but I cannot SEE him, I sob......

"Shh, Eric.... i know you're afraid Sapphire...and you don't feel worthy of me...you're being hurt and lied to.... i will find you, I will MAKE THOSE BASTARDS pay for even daring to touch one single hair on your head. Remember what I told you: nothing you could ever tell me, ever do could NOT make me love you...always, always will I love you. You will heal.... you will heal..."

The feel and scent of him fades...as I sob, alone again, screaming for him to come back, "Micky! Please...don't.... don't go.... don't let this be goodbye!! I'm sorry...so sorry!"

Another 'scene' takes place.... THIS TIME I can SEE....and I see Mick and I see myself, much more pregnant....and it seems, taking a walk on the beach.... the surf, licking our feet.... we are on a getaway it seems, and I spy matching rings on our fingers...

"You wanna stop and rest Eric? You look tired."

I turn to look at Mick, sounding shy, "Actually...yes.... but if it's not too much trouble."

"It's not Eric, the blanket I have wrapped around you.... we'll use that. and have no worries I will keep you warm.

"Ok Micky ok." I reply, giving him a smile. And his answering smile makes my heartbeat wildly as carefully he takes the blanket and spreads it on the ground, before helping me sit down, making sure me and the baby that is moving around inside me are ok before sitting down behind me, my back against his chest....and I can feel his heart as his hands and mine come to rest together on my stomach.

"She I believe takes after you..." Mick says laughing warmly as she begins to kick at our hands, "I love that...I love her and YOU."

"We love you too Micky...we love you too." I reply......

A/N: An emotional isolation, hurt.... trauma and dreams. Next chapter is the part 2 to this one, and perhaps another time skip I am thinking...not sure how much just yet, well you will see. Much love to all.