Fate
After that day, I disappeared. I left everyone behind, including her. I live far from her. I had to leave her. I had to. This is for the best. As I walked away, I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt and sadness. But deep down, I knew that this was the only way. I am the son of her abuser.
''Tangina mo!''
''Tatlong taon mong minahal sa malayo! Anim na buwan mong niligawan, Sylas! Tapos ngayon mo sasabihin pagod ka na?! Gago ka ba, huh?!'' nanggagalaiting hasik sa akin ni Milo bago ay kinuwelyuhan ako.
Hindi ko ininda ang kanyang mga suntok sa akin. Walang pag aalinlangan kong tinanggap ang kanyang mga suntok. ''Gago ka! Pati kaming mga kaibigan mo iniwan mo at tinalikuran mo!'' muli niyang hasik sa'kin.
Dumura ako nang malasahan ang sariling dugo. Isang suntok ang muli niyang ginawad sa akin.
Nang araw na 'yon ay malaki ang pasasalamat ko kay Milo dahil sa mga suntok niya. I badly need that punch. I deserved it... I deserve the punch. I'm a monster just like my father; his blood is running through my veins. I can't escape from it. I am a monster!
Tangina!
She takes her own life—she hangs herself from the ceiling. She almost died!
Kung hindi lang agad dumating ang kaibigan niya, pati na rin si Milo ay marahil ngayon patay na ang babaeng mahal na mahal ko!
Sa dumaan walong taon ay wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang tanawin at mahalin siya sa malayo.
I never left her. I was always there, like a creepy stalker, watching, admiring, and loving her from a distance. I never plan to show my face to her again or to pursue her again. I never planned that. All I want is for her to completely heal and forgive herself. I pursued BS Psychology; I dropped my dream course and pursued psychology rather, all because of her... I wanted to help her heal, forget, and live a happy life. She deserves it. She deserves a peaceful life where there's no me and no pain.
Nagtrabaho ako bilang dancer sa isang bar. Malaki ang kita kaya ayos na rin. Kahit madalas ay nababastos na ako, okay lang. Para kay Mila. Kailangan kong kumita ng malaking pera para matustusan ko ang pag aaral ko... para matulungan ko siyang makarecover.
Sa umaga ay pumapasok ako sa isang unibersidad, sa gabi naman ay nagtatrabaho ako sa isang bar.
I was drugged. I was raped. My body felt numb. I couldn't even remember how many times the incident had happened. I woke up, still half conscious, and felt a dirty hand ejaculating my manhood. Tears swelled in my eyes. I cried desperately. This is not part of my work!
Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang humikbi sa aking sarili. Gamit ang aking dalawang palad ay nanghihina kong tinakpan ang aking mukha.
''Okay, for today, we're going to discuss trauma. What do you guys think of trauma? Ano ang pagka intindi niyo roon? Anyone in this class?''
I raised my hand. ''Yes, Mister Asturias?''
"Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster,'' I simply answered.
''Very well said, Mister Asturias, yet Sigmund Freud has also defined "trauma" as any excitations from the outside that are strong enough to break through the protective shield; there is no longer any way to stop the mental apparatus from being flooded with a lot of stimuli that have broken in and bound them.''
''This definition of trauma highlights the vulnerability of the human psyche to external stimuli and the potential for overwhelming experiences to disrupt our mental functioning. It also emphasizes the importance of protective mechanisms in maintaining our psychological well-being,'' dagdag niya pa.
