"Fuck you." Love you, too

Monday

"Sal, get up!" I flinch as I feel the sheets of my bed being dragged off of my body. 

"Fuck off.." I cover my head with my hands and try to fall back asleep. 

I hear Larry scoff. I can feel his eyes staring at my back. "We're going to be late! Get up!" 

I shake my head, not wanting to have a conversation with anyone at the moment. "I don't want to."

Larry was about to say something, I heard it start to come out of his mouth, then he sighs, sits down next to me and gently puts a hand on my shoulder. A pause. "You okay?"

I wanted to start crying. I wanted to tell him that my dad literally tried to throw a beer bottle at my head, I wanted to ask if he saw the glass on the ground, I wanted to ask if I looked okay, I wanted to scream. But I didn't. "Mhm.." I quietly mumble, still not wanting to talk. Especially not now. Not now.

"Sal..." Larry started, and I could feel his eyes on me. Worried. I could tell without looking at him that there was worry in his eyes, in his voice. 

"I'm fine." I finally say, since Larry isn't giving it up. I force myself to sit up. "See?" I force a fake smile, and I'm glad as hell that my face is so fucking messed up that nobody can really tell if my smile is real, fake, or a smile at all.

"Alright, well, hurry up, we're late already!" He pats my shoulder, gets up, and walks out of my bedroom. 

I instantly drop the smile I was forcing, even though half the time people can't even tell if I'm smiling or not, but I know that somehow, Larry knows. But he doesn't know enough to know if it's fake or a genuine smile.

~~~

I watched Larry walk around the corner, to go to class, and I grab my bag back out of my locker, shut my locker, and walk the total wrong way. Towards the exit of the fucking building. I shove the doors open, and I let out a deep breath. I've skipped before, but I didn't want any of my friends to see me leaving. I look more shittier than usual. And that's saying a lot because I look shitty every single day. I readjust my bag, then I walk back towards Addison Apartments. Maybe I'll help Addison with something or help Lisa. Because I sure as hell don't want to see my dad right now. And I sure as hell don't want to go to school. In all honesty, I wanted to go to the apartments, go to my room, crawl into bed, and never get up. But I can't. I won't. 

~~~

1 knock. 2 knocks. 

The door opens. 

"Sal?" 

"Hey." 

He looks around, and moves aside. "What are you doing here?" He stares at me, curiosity in his brown eyes as he looks at my face.

"Well, honestly, I don't know. I didn't want to go to school."

I watch as he shakes his head, his identical blue hair moving with him. Phillip lets out a laugh. "So, what? I'm your ditching buddy?" Phillip pauses, "How'd you even know I was home?"

I shrug, taking my shoes off. "I didn't."

Phillip puts a hand over his face, and I can tell he's smiling. "Seriously, what's up."

"Is Travis gay?"

Phillip's eyes widen. His mouth opens a bit. "What?"

"Is, Travis Phelps, gay?"

Phillip continues to stare at me in disbelief. "Okay- what the fuck? I don't- I don't know?" He lets out an awkward and uncomfortable laugh.

"That's not much help."

"Wait- Wait. Do you-"

I nod before he even gets to finish his sentence. This is another moment where I am glad that I have a prosthetic that covers my face so that he can't see it redden. 

"Holy shit. You're gay?" Shock is written all over Phillips face. And I can also tell that he's curious on why I came to him to tell him, of all people, that I like Travis Phelps.

"I don't know... I just, I don't know! I didn't even know-" I pause, and swallow to try and stop my throat from being so dry, and so tight. "I didn't even know I liked him. I realized just a few days ago."

Phillip pats me on the shoulder, and walks over to his couch to sit down. He pats the side next to him, inviting me to join him.

I walk over and sit down next to him. We just stare at nothing for quite a while before he breaks the silence.

"So, let me guess. You wanted to tell someone, but you were scared all your friends would judge you since they all hate Travis's guts and always have. But you know that I'm friends with Travis." Phillip stares at me, and I slowly nod.

"I also, wanted to learn more about him." I scratch my neck, uncomfortable from the too quiet house. 

"Huh. What do you want to know about him?"

"Anything you're allowed to tell."

Phillip pauses. He thinks. "Well, uhm-" He pauses again, trying to think what he's allowed to say. "I've already told you he has a shitty life, always has. His mother died when he was... 7? I remember that day. We were in 2nd grade. We were hanging out, waiting for our parents to pick us up. Larry left first. When my-"

I couldn't help but interrupt him. "Wait, Larry?!" 

Phillip glances my way, and raises a brow at my shocked tone. "Larry didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"That him and Travis used to be best friends?"

What the fuck. What. The. Fuck. "No." 

"Shit. Really?" 

I nod. I'm moving so stiffly. 

"That's a story to tell after this one. Anyways, when my parents came to pick me up, I asked if Travis could come with us, since no one has picked him up yet. Usually, he leaves first, so it was odd. We would've taken him home, but my parents insisted they would show up soon.

"I remember the look on my parents' face when they got that call from Kenneth. They were horrified. I was so scared that day. I thought something happened to Travis. I was worried as fuck, but they told me Travis found his mother. Dead." Phillip stares up at the ceiling. "He changed after that. He stopped talking to either of us. We didn't know why. He stopped talking to anyone for 2 years. When Larry made new friends, Travis was furious. They had this whole fight in the middle of the school." 

I stare at Phillip in disbelief. I never thought that Travis and Larry could've been childhood friends. I couldn't help but wonder if Larry has ever told anyone about it.

"We didn't see Travis for a week after that, but when we did, he looked like absolute shit. His hair was a mess, he had a giant bruise on his eye, he looked skinnier. Sad. Really sad. He started talking to me again, but he never has told me why he was gone for a week." 

My heart dropped. I wanted to go find Travis and give him a hug. It was stupid, but I did. "Wow." Was all I could manage to say. 

"He doesn't deserve this." Phillip shakes his head. Glances at me. "He needs someone like you. You could change his life, Sal." He gives me a small smile.