"Fuck you." Love you, too

Tuesday

I didn't feel like talking to anyone after I went home from Phillips. He told me so much. He said there was so much he couldn't say, but he said so much. He told me about Travis and Larry being friends, how he changed when his mother died, how he used to be before the loss of his mother, and so much more. I understand what Travis goes through. I may not have to endure it as much as he does, but I know what it's like. I know what it's like to fear going home, the one play you're supposed to be able to call your safe place. The one place you're supposed to be able to feel most comfortable at. Phillip told me it was bad even before his mother passed. Even though Phillip never told me what he went through directly, I knew what he meant. I know what Travis goes through. I know now that Travis gets abused. Often. And it angers me. It angers me that he has to go through that, and had to go through that even when he was a kid. A baby even, maybe. It's horrifying. And I get why Travis was mad when Larry got new friends, ditching Travis. I get it. I walk into school, feeling totally different than I did the day before. I didn't want to walk with Larry and Todd, so I told them to leave without me. I walk over to my locker, and they look at me. 

"Where did you go yesterday?" Larry asks, eyeing me. 

"I skipped."

Ash laughs. "No dip, sherlock, but Larry said you weren't at your apartment when he checked yesterday."

"Really."

Larry nods. "I was worried! You didn't tell any of us you were ditching school, we were all worried on where you were. Especially when I didn't find you at your apartment."

I shrug, opening my locker and stuffing the paper clip into my pocket. "I'm here now, aren't I?"

I grab my book and shut the locker. Then I turn to finally look at them. I wanted to mention Larry being Travis's childhood best friend, but I don't. I know it will make Larry mad, and he'll either go yell at Travis or at Phillip, and Phillip would be pissed at me if he found out I was telling people what I knew about Travis. Because then somehow that would get to Travis then he would be pissed at me. And honestly, thinking about him being mad at me makes me upset. It shouldn't, but it does.

"So where were you?" Ash stares into my eyes, trying to find the answer through them. 

"A friends." I know she knows I'm not lying. She lets out a sigh and lets it go. 

"Alright, well, next time tell us if you're ditching, dumbass! Maybe we'll go with you!" She grins and flicks me in the face. 

The thing I'm not telling them, is that I didn't want them to ditch with me. That's why I didn't say anything. I didn't want them to be with me. Not then. I felt like shit before I learned about Travis. Then I felt sick after I learned more about Travis. 

~~~

Larry plops down on my couch and turns on the tv. "Damn, it's hotter up here!" 

I roll my eye and walk over to the couch. "Obviously, dumbass. Its cooler underground than above ground since you're a bit closer to the sun, and because of the density." (trying to make Sal smart here)

"What's density?"

I glare at Larry, and I can tell that he's being serious. "Oh my god, Larry." 

"What?! I don't know what density is!" 

I cover my face with my hands and shake my head. "How the fuck are you in high school."

"You tell me!" 

I uncover my face and let out a laugh. "You're seriously so dumb."

Larry laughs with me. "I know!"

"I am not teaching you what density is."

"Damn. Okay." Larry throws a piece of popcorn at me. 

"Where did you get popcorn..."

"It was in the seat."

"EW! What the fuck!!" 

Larry grins. "Maybe you shouldn't be a slob." He shrugs.

I stare at him and flip him off. "That was probably you!" 

"No proof!!" 

"I don't even sit on that side of the couch!" 

Larry moves over to the middle. "Neither do I!!!"

I smack him on the side of the head and let out an annoyed laugh. "You are so incredibly stupid, Larry."

"WOW!" He moves back over to the spot he was at. 

"I thought you didn't sit there."

"Yeah, well, I don't want to sit next to you, you jerk!"

I grin. "I didn't want you to sit next to me in the first place, dickwad."