Let Me Go

- Chapter Eleven - Elora -

Two weeks had passed since we had spent the night at Erin's house, and I was still just as embarressed about it as I was the morning we woke up. I could remember it all, in detail, and it made me want to hide.

Drinking to the point of complete exhaustion, needing to rely purely on Luca, asking him to stay with me once he got me into bed.. The way that I had felt about him once he was close to me. It was horrific.

I'd awoken that morning with Harry, and told him that I didn't remember the night before, that I thought he had been the one to get me to bed, that I'd thought it was Harry that I had been talking to and asking to stay with me. I couldn't admit that it had been Luca. I couldn't. I couldn't admit the way that I had felt, how I had ached to touch him, to breath him in.

He hadn't mentioned it either, maybe he had taken relief in the fact that I hadn't remembered anything and didn't want to bring anything up that would jog my memory. I was thankful that he simply nodded his head when I mentioned Harry being the one that took me to bed that night.

My mother had also been completely fine with all of it. I had returned home the following day after school expecting a fight, or at the very least a very sturn talking to, only to have her ask if I had had a nice night. She spent a good ten minutes telling me that although she wasn't a fan of Harry, she really liked Luca. That she thought I was safe with him, and that I had done such a good job finding a friend like him. I had stared at her in shock, wondering what had happened to her. She would never have said that to me. She had told me off not long before that night about being driven home by him, but suddenly she sees him shirtless and thinks he is no longer a threat..

The guy that looked like a freaking God, tall and delicious. The guy that looked like he would fuck me within an inch of my life. He wasn't a threat.

Yeah freaking right.

I sat in silence at the back of the bus, next to Erin and as far away as possible from the sick kids at the front. School camp. It was nitorious for creating an environment that smelt like vomit, that had a gross humidity within the bus that only made people sicker. I luckily never experienced car sickness, so sitting up the back was a relief for me, I didn't want to see or hear anything that was going on up the front.

The trip was a couple of hours, we stopped half way at an old empty oval, the teachers telling us to walk and stretch our legs before we would need to climb back onto the bus for the rest of the journey. I sat next to Erin on our lunch break as she told me how distant Luca had become, trying my best to sound interested when she said he hadn't been giving her attention. I didn't care for their relationship, I never had. Ruby was more involved in the conversation, asking questions and offering advice. I just sat back and listened, before looking around the field at the students that had spread out. I couldn't see Luca as we spoke of him, and a part of me was thankful, it meant he was too busy off doing something else, there would be no chance of him coming and sitting with us. But there was also another part of me that wondered where he was. I tried to surpress that part of me. I'd spent most of the past couple weeks thinking about him, when I knew that I shouldn't. Thinking about the way that he looked at me when we lay in Erin's bed together. The way that he looked at my lips like he wanted to taste them. The feel of his hand pressed so tightly against my stomach, and I wondered what would have happened if I'd have guided it down further. I was drunk, so obviously he wouldn't have let me, but it didn't stop me thinking about if it were to happen again. Which was a dangerous thought.

After a while the teachers shouted us back to the bus, and we climbed back on board, the smell once again hitting me and it wasn't a surprise that people were getting sick. The bus had an older type of smell, maybe it was the air conditioning or even the fabric of the seats, but either way it was making the bus smell stale and the windows were all clamped shut. I leant over Erin once we were seated, trying to open the window above her for some airflow only to find that it didn't open, the latch was just for display. That was comforting...