Let Me Go

- Chapter Sixteen - Elora -

"Come in with me." Luca said as I stood a few meters away.

"I'm fine here." I replied, sitting on a nearby chair.

"I won't let anything happen to you." he replied, sitting up straight before leaning over the hot tub wall, crossing his arms in front of him on the edge.

"I'm fine not getting in.. Really." I replied, trying my hardest to convey to him that I didn't have any desire to get into the water.

"This is me on my knees, El. You're safe, I'll make sure of it" he added, and I could feel my chest tighten as I looked down to the water. I trusted Luca. I don't know when that had happened, all I'd ever felt was annoyance or indifference. But sitting here now, him telling me he would keep me safe, I knew he would.

I had never faced my fear, my friends had always tried to help me but I just never could. I had always run from it, done everything possible to avoid it.

People had real fears; losing a loved one, ending up alone, death. I was just scared of water, something I could overcome if I simply allowed myself to. Something I could teach myself to be safe in. Something I could fix but always chose not to.

I stood up, slowly walking to him before I stopped a few feet from the side. He looked up to me, before standing up tall and putting his hand out for me to take. Water dripped off of him, running down his body, over every curve and crevice. I looked at his hand for a moment, trying to steady my breathing as I reached out and clasped it with my own hand. He held it gently, not pulling me towards him, but instead just holding it, looking to me with gentle eyes.

"I'm right here with you." he said, and my eyes found their way to the water. I took a couple of small steps until my feet hit the wall of the hot tub, I wasn't that far away from Luca now, I could feel his peppermint breath on me as he waited for my next move. I took a deep breath before looking up to him, meeting his eyes once again.

"I won't fall under?" I asked, breathing deeply once the words left my mouth.

"No." He replied, his voice soft.

"Is it slippery?" I asked again, all it would take would be one wrong move and I could go under.

"No."

"If I fall..." I started, before he cut me off.

"Then I'll catch you. You're safe, I promise you." he replied, squeezing my hand to reassure me. I squeezed his back in return, I wanted to buy some more time before getting in. But I knew I couldn't stand staring at it all day, I needed to bite the bullet. I needed to try.

"You won't let go?" I asked, my final question. I looked into his eyes, I must have looked terrified to him. My confident facade was long gone, instead here I stood terrified, almost shaking in fear. His other arm reached out and grabbed my forearm, before his fingers slowly traced my skin down to my other hand, taking it in his own. I held his hands, focusing on my staggered breathing. There was a ringing in my ears, all I could hear was my own shallow breathing. My hands seemed to feel slightly airy, like I was going to get pins and needles any minute. Even my joints seemed like they were going to lock up on me at any minute once my body realised what it was doing.

I held onto him tightly, lifting my right leg over the short wall and dropping it into the water. I looked to Luca, who nodded to me as I placed it lower and lower in the water until my foot touched the floor. I could feel a shiver go up my spine before working its way down my arms and through my hands. I wondered if Luca had felt it, suddenly taking one of my hands and placing it on his shoulder for support, my forearm resting against his chest as his now free hand landed on my waist, water dripping down my legs. I steadied my right foot, before lifting my left off of the dry wooden floor and doing the same, slowly dropping it into the water.