Let Me Go

- Chapter Twenty-Five- Elora-

I sit in the empty cafeteria, my hands on the table in front of me, picking at my fingernails. I look at them intensly, trying to focus all of my attention on them rather than look up across the table. I can see them sitting there in front of me, their hands resting on the table in front of us, the space between the three of us. I didn't know how to start this conversation. I didn't even know what questions I really had. I had spent the time ignoring them, thinking all kinds of things, but now that I sat in front of them - I was blank.

The room was quiet, other students were all in class, I had skipped mine in order to be here sitting with Harry and Luca, something I would get in trouble for but that was a problem for future me. I look up slowly, once I had finally taken a deep enough breath to feel like I could speak. I look to Harry first, he was looking at me gently, waiting for me to speak. I look over the features of his face slowly, taking it all in. My best friend, the guy I had known my entire life, who I thought I knew better than I knew myself, suddenly looked so damn different.

I move my attention to Luca. I don't look at his face, I don't take in all his features. Instead I stare into his eyes, that were already staring into mine. I feel like I could have had an entire conversation with him in that moment without saying a word, but instead just looking at him. I feel so deeply connected to him, and it scared the hell out of me.

"How have you been?" Harry asks from beside him, my eyes switching to his.

"I hate this. I hate fighting with you." I reply, once again taking a deep breath once the words had left my mouth.

"I don't want this either." he replies, his hand stretching out across the small table. "But I want you to have time to think about it. Decide what it is that you want." he adds.

"I want my brother back." my hand reaching out and grabbing his, squeezing it between my fingers, I can see Luca's gaze fall onto them from the corner of my eye. "I'm not going to lie and say any of this is okay, that it doesn't scare me.." I start, before he cuts me off.

"Do I scare you?" Harry asks, I can hear how saddened he is having to ask that question.

"No." I reply with no hesitation, staring into his blue eyes. I was scared of vampires, sure. I was scared of what could happen being around them. But was I scared of Harry? Absolutely not. He had always protected me, made sure I was okay before he was. He had always been there, through the highs and the lows. I trusted him with every ounce of my being. "I guess my world view has just.. shifted, that's all.."

"I'm sorry that I lied to you.. That we lied to you" Harry begins, and I look to Luca again. He was yet to speak his mind. "I thought if you found out that exactly what had happened, would happen.. I guess it was stupid in hindsight." Harry adds, and I look back to him.

"I just don't understand how I didn't realise." I reply, looking down at our hands before letting his go and pulling my own back to my side of the table, looking up to Luca.

I had been so close to him the last few weeks, physically and emotionally. Not once had I ever thought there was something different with him. But looking at him now, it was obvious. He was flawless, his skin was perfectly shaded, he'd never had a hair out of place, never a blemish. He was tall, his posture had always been so annoyingly upright. The way his eyes look into mine, like he had always been taking in my entire face, I guess all along he had been.

"We got good at hiding it." Luca replies, his lips barely moving to form the words. He doesn't stop staring at me, I'd started wishing that it were just him and I sitting at the table, maybe I shouldn't have asked Harry to sit and answer my questions at the same time. No, that wouldn't have been smart. I wasn't in control of my feelings around Luca and I knew we couldn't have what we did. Not now.