Angel With Broken Wings

17 - Kat Ride and a Heart to Heart (1)

[KAT POV]

I shudder once more after looking away from Lance's retreating figure, the air wrapping coolly around me as I let out a shaky breath. "Kat..." I glance over at the use of my name, Mash staring straight at me with concern in his eyes, the other three have started to move back to the school, though I could feel both Lemon and Finn glancing back at me with worry.

I give a frightened smile, the feature disappearing in a flash as I look at Mash, my face still tear stained but no longer covered in the salty substance. "Mash...good job." I nod, chewing on the inside of my cheek as I squeeze tighter around myself. He scrunches up his nose at the remark, glancing over at the retreating three and then back at me, soon extending his arms out.

I shift from foot to foot as I stare at his waiting and open figure, and I blink rapidly as my breathing slowly labours again. I move to his form, unwrapping my arms from me and rewrapping them around Mash's middle, my cheek on his shoulder with my face turned towards his neck. He soon squeezes his arms around me tightly, flexing slightly as he stiffens when my breathing hits his neck.

"I'm sorry..." My apology is strangled out, and I nuzzle further into his neck, tears once again slipping down from my eyes and making his shirt damp. He shook his head, muttering softly and quickly, "You don't have to apologize. You did nothing wrong." I whimper slightly, as I choke down a sob, "I hate being scared."

"You don't have to be scared when you're with me. I'll keep you safe, as best I can, please don't doubt me on that." His words hold a promise I'm hesitant to trust and believe, knowing that the boy before me doesn't even really know me. He has promised to keep me safe and protect me again and again, and yet I'm still so scared and frightened to tell him the truth about myself.

I let him and his father believe what they wanted, too frightened to tell them about the experiments and the horrors I went through there. My mind was still entrapped with how my biological parents reacted to having me and Iggy, selling their only daughter only for their two children to get taken away. The desire for parents deeply embedded in my heart even after finding out what they did, but I still had to hope, pray even, that if they ever met Iggy that they would shower him with the love he deserves.

Nobody could possibly understand the pain and fear of seeing people your age, younger, and sometimes only a few years older than you, die constantly in front of you. Failures, not even worth trying to save. Failures, only meant to be used one last time as a hunt for the Erasers who tormented us without that passtime. Living in fear and being abused day in and day out, only to be saved and then betrayed once more.

Going to save Angel, managing to get out of the mess, only for a bigger one to go down once we've reached the Institute. Being separated again and again, and now I'm on a whole new level of separation. I doubted I would see them again, but I still longed for one more time and chance to be with them, but I knew a part of me would be hesitant to leave. I wouldn't want to leave Mash, Regro, Lemon, Finn, or even Lance, and who knows how many more I would want to stay with as time passes on.

I was given a chance at a new life, but the chains of my previous times keep me held down to the thoughts of needing to go back. 'Ah... It's not that I want to, it's that I think I need to...' I grip the boy tighter, and hold him close as I have that realization, the tears slowing to a stop. 'I don't want to go back...but I want the Flock. I would have to leave everyone behind, but I want everyone here. I'm so selfish it's pathetic...'

The first time in my life I have felt such an enormous amount of joy and fun, despite the recent circumstance. I've laughed and smiled before but here it was different, I felt free, finally free from the School and their horrors, free from running for my life. I don't want to run again, but I'm so hesitant for anyone to know what happened to me until this point, and I also know that if people found out that both Mash and I were magicless, we'd be public enemy number one, and I wasn't about to let Mash or Regro live the life I had.