Everything Counts (Book 1)

11. Harry

11. Harry

I knocked on Zayn's door waiting for him.. I still love him even if he is evil or whatever. I don't care what anyone thinks. I know he wants to hurt me but I just don't wanna live without him. I love him too much and I owe him a lot I think. "COMING" I heard Zayn yell. I didn't know if I should run or stay. My feet felt planted to the ground so I guess i'm staying. I started to shake as I saw the door knob turn. He slowly opened the door and looked at me. "Hi" I smiled. "Hey" Zayn looked like he was crying. "Zayn, were you crying" I saw tears by his eyes and tried to wipe them but he slapped my hand away. "No" he growled. "Oh" I sighed. "Why are you here?" "To see you" I looked down at my feet. "Why would you do that?" "Cause I'm stupid.. and I'm in love with you. I know I broke up with you but I don't know. I kept like thinking and you kept popping in my mind. I just.. I don't really know but Zayn I love you" I looked up at Zayn. He was just standing there trying to fit every word I said like it was a puzzle. The puzzle of Harry Styles's fucked up life. "Harry your stupid. You know what I did.." Zayn sighed. "Please Zayn. I know what your doing or did but please. I need you. I won't tell anyone. Please Zaynie" I pleased. Zayn opened his door more to let me in. "I'm home alone anyways" Zayn shrugged and closed the door behind him. I slipped off my jacket and put it on a chair. The house was a mess. "Want me to help you clean" I smiled at Zayn. "No. It's not actually my mess. My mum left it and said she'll clean it" Zayn shrugged. "C'mon! I'll help" I laughed. "Haz" Zayn shook his head and smiled. "Yes" I laughed. "Fine" Zayn rolled his eyes and I smiled. I started to pick up some things in the living room while Zayn washed dishes. I think the hardest thing of all of this is hiding it from Liam. I want to tell him but I know what he'll say. He'll say that it's the most stupidest idea and never let me see Zayn again. "Alright I finished" Zayn sighed and places one last dish. I placed the tv remote by the tv and smiled at Zayn. "Now, Harry why are you really here?" "I already told you Zayn" I sighed. "Well anyways..." Zayn sighed and jumped on the couch. I walked to the kitchen to get a water bottle. I walked by Zayn's couch and sat on the arm of the couch. Zayn bit his lip and tried not to look at me. "Zayn, do you want to uh.. Never mind" I sighed. "What Haz" Zayn looked up. "Do you uh want me to leave" I sighed trying to find something to say instead of asking him out. "Nah it's fine" Zayn smirked and moved closer to me. "Alright" I shivered. I turned my head and looked out the window. But then I felt Zayn's arms warp around me and pull me on his lap. "Z-Zayn.." "Shhh" Zayn smirked and kissed my neck. I shivered and he started to nibble on my neck. "Zayn, I don't think we should do this" I moaned and got back on the arm of the chair. Zayn sighed and put his hand through his hair. I don't want something that I can't stop. I want to kiss Zayn but I know if I do Liam would find out. He always does. I heard Zayn move again but I just stared out the window. He started to kiss the back of my neck. "Zayn" I sighed. He tried to lift my shirt up. I didn't let him but finally I gave up and he threw my shirt on the ground. He pulled me into his lap again and smiled. I grabbed my water bottle from the table and poured it on Zayn. "Harry" he yelled and pushed me to the ground. I have no idea what I just did.. My eyes grew big as he ran up stairs with anger in his eyes. I sighed and grabbed my shirt. I put it back on and grabbed my jacket. Maybe sometimes it's best if people say goodbye. Never look back and say nothing happened. Just walk away and say you were never here. Zayn ran down the steps shirtless and looked at me. "Ill get going" I sighed. "No. Harry I'm sorry. I pushed you to do something" Zayn sighed. "No, I wanted to. But I just don't know" I sighed and put my hand through my hair. "Then why did you do that" Zayn sighed and tried to dry his hair with the towel. "I just don't know" I shrugged. "Harry you know I wanna be with you" Zayn sighed. I nodded. "But you know I can't stop what I'm doing.. Trying well acting like I wanna hurt you" Zayn sighed. "Then why don't you stop?" "Cause I can't" Zayn sighed. "Why not? Zayn I can help" I put my hand on Zayn's hand. "I just can't Haz" Zayn sighed and moved his hand away. "Want me to cook you something" I smiled at Zayn. "Toast" Zayn smiled. I nodded and went to get some bread. I heard little foot steps behind me. Zayn flipped me around and pinned me against the counter. "Don't move" Zayn whispered in my ear and then kissed my neck. I pulled into Zayn's body so there was no space between us. He smirked and bit his lip. "Zayn.. Are you sure you wanna" I smirked. He nodded and kissed me. I kissed back and he licked my lip for an entrance. I gave it to him and he explored my mouth. He pulled back and just sighed. I didn't know what happened or what I did wrong... Zayn took my hand and just shook his head and let go. "Zayn" I looked at Zayn confused. "Yeah" Zayn looked up at me. "What's wrong" I sighed. "I never actually uh did it with a um guy.." Zayn blushed. "Neither have I" I shrugged. "But we'll find out" Zayn winked and pulled me upstairs. He pushed me on his bed and took off his shirt and then slid off mine. He climbed on me and pulled my pants down. But my boxers slid down with my pants. Zayn but his lip and took off his also. We were uh just both naked and didn't know what to do next.. Zayn sucked on my neck. He started to push his body harder on mine so our members touched. I moaned and Zayn stopped sucking my neck. "Do you want me to take control or something" I sighed. He slowly nodded and really didnt know what to do.. "Wait Haz.. Uh how about we um-.." I cut him off, "not do this now. Yeah sounds legit." Zayn laughed and got dressed. "I'm sorry" I sighed. "We both didnt know what we were going, no need to be sorry" Zayn laughed. I finally got dressed and Zayn smiled at me. I don't know why I love this boy so much. "Want me to drive you home or something" Zayn sighed. "Nope. I don't have to go home till Liam calls me" I shrugged. "Well you know he's gonna find out that you were here" Zayn sat on his bed. "No.. Don't tell him. Please Zayn" I pouted and sat next to Zayn on his bed. He laid his head on my lap and put his feet on his pillow. "I won't. But I don't promise that Kevin won't." "So Kevin's part of your team thing" I looked down at Zayn. He looked up and shook his head. "It's his team." "Then why the hell are you in it Zayn?!" "Cause he said I have to be in it or something will happen to me.." "Zayn I don't wanna find out you got hurt cause of him" I sighed. "I know Haz" Zayn nodded. "Are you sure you know" I laughed. "Yes i'm sure." "Are you totally sureeeee?" "Yes Haz.." "ARE YOU REALLY REALLY TOTALLY SURE" I yelled. "I'm not gonna answer you cause you know my answer" Zayn laughed. "Yeah, I know" I laughed.

-*-

"Aww do you really have to go" Zayn pouted as we walked down the steps. "Yeah" I laughed and slid my jacket on. Zayn pouted and gave me puppy eyes. "Liam is gonna kill me if I don't leave" I laughed and pecked Zayn's lips. He pulled me into him and hugged me. "Zayn you have to let go babe" I laughed. Zayn sighed and kissed my head. "Haz" Zayn sighed as I started to walk away. I turned around and looked at Zayn. He was biting his lip.. "Uh do you wanna join my side?.." "I'll uh think about it alright" I smirked at Zayn. He smiled so big it was so cute. "Good" he pecked my lips once again and then I walked out.

-Flash Back :D

"Liam" I knocked on Liam's door. "GO AWAY HAZ" Liam yelled. It's been like a month sence his mum died.. I just don't know why he's shutting me out. "Liam what is wrong" I sighed. He pulled the door open, "YOU KNOW WHY I'M NOT SPEAKING TO YOU HARRY! YOUR THE FREAKING RESON!" Then he slammed the door in my face. "Liam I don't understand" I sighed. I don't know what I did to hurt him so bad.. "Li please" I sighed once again and slid down on Liam's door. I just don't know anymore. I love Li but he won't tell me what I did wrong. "Liam if you tell me maybe I can fix it" I sighed and started to feel tears come. Don't cry.. Don't cry.. Liam pulled his door open and I got up. "YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW HARRY" Liam yelled and pushed me on the wall. I slowly nodded. "CAUSE YOU SAID ME AND YOU COULD HAVE A CHANCE BUT NO.. YOU HAD TO GO AND LIKE THAT FREAKING GIRL" Liam started to cry. "Li" I held Liam in my arms. "No Harry. Just leave me alone" he growled and stormed back in his room. I slid down back on Liam's door. "Liam I didn't even ask her out.." "Why" I heard Liam sigh. "Cause I love you and don't want to see you get hurt" I mumbled. "Yeah, but still there's no chance for us.." Liam opened the door and looked at me. His eyes all red from crying and tears still forming in his eyes. He looked helpless. It hurt me to think that I did this to him. I always never wanted to see Liam hurt but I know I was the one who hurt him this time.. It took all the power in me just not to cry cause I love Liam. He's amazing to me I just don't want to let anyone hurt him.. I held Liam in my arms and he just tried. "One day your prince will come Liam.. Just not me.. I hurt you too much" I kissed on the head. He smiled and nodded. He held me tighter. I hope when he finds his prince that he will be happy and that guy will never think about hurting Liam. Liam is amazing and needs someone who will see that and love him forever. I can't love Liam, I know I will just hurt him. I'm his best friend but I can't be more.

-End of flash back-

I walked in my room from getting Liam. I been thinking about what Zayn asked me. I just don't know anymore. Liam is like already mad at me. I got my phone and called Zayn. This is gonna hurt either one.. I don't care anymore. I love him and i'm doing this for him. "Harry" Zayn laughed. "I'm in."