Everything Counts (Book 1)

21. Niall

Chapter 21. Niall

I miss Josh being in my arms.. Well I mean were friends and some times cuddle, but I want to kiss him and not have him act all weird. He's dating Joey. I like Joey, but I still love Josh. Josh is my one and only. He's the only one I want or need. I just need him now and forever. But he loves Joey.. Well that's what he sort of told me. There's five million reasons why I love Josh. He's amazing, nice, love able, and just caring. He would never hurt anyone. Unless they hurt someone he loves. He just needs to know that I want him more than I can tell him. He's like a mirror, many things can break him. But then someone helps him up. He's just a person that someone can hurt really easily. But doesn't mean I love him less, he's still amazing. It just makes him 10 times hotter. He's just... I don't know. World can't explain what I feel about Josh or what he is. Words can't explain a story, the story can't explain a person. The person explains it's self. Josh is a story. He has a story and I love being part of his messed up story. But not everyone wants to tell their story. But everyone does have a story. But some people have to forget their story and life on. But Josh will never forget his story. First Zayn stalked him and then he tried to kill himself.. I mean it's a pretty messed up story. Some stories can be changed by lies or just having a happy ending. Josh is gonna be my happy ending. He's gonna have to be my happy ending. Or it won't be a happy ending. I mean i'm not gonna force him to take me back. I just want him just as bad as I want a happy ending. Whatever though.. But I see how much Josh loves Joey. They're always looking at each other during class or just giggling at each other. I want to throw up when I see them together or just cry. But I know I can't, Josh wouldn't talk to me or even look at me. Some times I just don't know what to do and right now with Josh this is one of those times. Why can't me and Josh have love like Louis and Liam? Or Zayn and Harry? Or Blaine and Kurt on glee.. They all have happy endings, but I doubt me and Josh will.. I hope we do but.. Yeah.. I sighed and bit my pen. "Niall, pay attention" the teacher looked at me. How can I when Josh keeps looking at me?.. I looked at Josh but he looked away and held Joey's hand. I bit my lip and looked at what the teacher was doing. I suck at math so why am I even passing.. Then the bell rang. I grabbed my books and quickly ran out of class. I wanna get home and sleep.. Nothing bothering me. Well maybe Greg but yeah. I walked to my locker. "Ni" I heard someone yell. I turned around and saw Josh. "Hey" I about mumbled. "Wanna come to my place after school" Josh smiled and leaned on the locker next to mine.. Josh. Stop. Turning. Me. On. "Uh.. I was gonna hang out with Greg tonight" I lied and got my bag. "C'mon! Please! Joey is going to his friends house! Ni" Josh wined. "Fine" I laughed and closed my locker. Josh smiled as we walked to his car. I threw my bag at the bottom of my seat and got in. I don't know what Josh was planning to do at his place but I am hungry.. I turned on the radio as soon as we got out of the school's parking lot. "JUSTIN BIEBER" I yelled and turned up the radio. Josh laughed and smiled at me. "If I was your boyfriend i'd never let you go" I sang. "Tell me what you like yeah tell me what you don't" I kept singing. I just kept humming the song till Josh pulled into his parking lot. I seriously like jumped out of the car and left my bag in the car. "I HUNGRY" I yelled as I ran up the steps. I opened Josh's door and ran towards the frige. I grabbed some strawberries and stuffed some in my mouth. I turned around and Josh was at the door. "Hi" I laughed. "Eat with your mouth closed weirdo" Josh laughed and headed towards the porch after throwing his keys and our bags on the counter. I followed Josh with the strawberries. I sat on the couch and Josh sat at his drums.. Nothing. No talking or anything. Just light breathes. "Niall, do you love me" Josh said in like a whisper. I almost choked on my strawberry. "I mean.. Niall I still have feelings for you.. Like epic feelings but I don't know if you feel the same.." "Josh you have Joey." "I know. But he's not you" Josh sighed and looked at me. "Yes" I said in a whisper.

Josh got up and sat next to me on the couch. I put the strawberries on the small table. I leaned in and kissed Josh. I wanted this, I needed this. If he didn't kiss back I would know he didn't like me but if he did I know I can take it farther. He kissed back. I could feel Josh smile through the kiss. It was amazing. Like everything that happened to me and Josh never happened. Like the wind just blew everything away. Before it got any father I backed out. Josh just looked at me. His eyes almost like sparkling with happyness or something. Josh got up and took my hand. He took me inside and in his room. He closed the door behind him and smirked. He pushed me against the door and kissed me. Full force this time. His tongue some how got inside my mouth and he started to explore my mouth. I started to back up to Josh's bed without breaking the kiss. He soon fell on the bed with me on top. Josh this time broke the kiss. "Niall, are you sure?" I nodded and pecked Josh's lips. After pecking his lips a couple of time Josh flipped me on my back. He laughed and smiled at me. Josh started to undo my botton up shirt. Worst. Day. To. Wear. A. Button. Up. Shirt. He got it off of me somehow and it was on the floor. I blushed and Josh once again laughed. His laugh was so hot at this momnet. Josh just kissed me again and I put my feet around his waist. His tiny frame on top of me was just like made for me or something. He slipped his tongue back in my mouth. Sometimes out tongues hit or glided together. Josh right now was in control and I had no problem. I loved him and I believe he loves me back. Josh broke the kiss and took off his shirt also. "I- I love you Josh" I said panting.

-*-

I woke up with cum all in the bed and around me. Josh's naked body cuddled up on mine. I was still sort of out of breathe from the night before. I smiled to last night. They way Josh yelled or moaned my name. I bet the whole place knows my freaking name now.. I looked at my phone and it was 6am.. 1 hour till school. I don't wanna be here when Joey comes home. I quickly got my clothes on and put a blanket on Josh. Josh started to stir in the bed. I closed the door as I walked out of Josh's room. I grabbed my bag but before I did I saw Joey crying on the couch. Shit.. "H-hey J-joey" I shurttered. Joey's head shot up and he looked at me. My body was all sweaty and still had cum in my hair. "I hope you make him happy" Joey sniffled. I didn't know what to say.. I just opened the door and left the flat. As I closed the door and sighed. What did I do?