15. Joey

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A/N: I was listening to Lady Gaga.. LoveGame while writing this so let's see how this goes o_O.. 

15. Joey

 Josh hasn't answered my phone in a while and he always answers.. I don't know what happened to him. I asked Niall and he had no idea. I mean they live together so how the hell can Niall not know! I walked up the steps to Josh's flat with 2 teas. I skipped school today for him, to make sure he's alright. I knocked on the door. I waited for a answer. If it's like one of those things where I find a freaking dead body i'll break down crying. I just opened the door and let myself in. "JOSH" I yelled and sat the teas on the counter. I heard someone panting in Josh's room. I ran in there and Josh was on the floor with his hands around his neck. His neck was all red and there was rope and broken pieces of his closet bar all around him. "Josh, did you try to hand yourself" I sighed as I went down to Josh. He slowly nodded and cried into my shirt. "Joshie.. Why would you do that" I kissed Josh on the head. "Cause Zayn keeps messing with me.. He's the freaking reason Niall moved out of there and broke up with me" Josh sat on my lap still crying. "You could of talked to me silly" I pushed Josh's hair out of his face. "I broke my phone" Josh sighed. "Then you need a new one silly" I winked and got up. "I didn't notice" Josh giggled and stood up. "Alright, i'll clean this up. You go get some tea" I smiled at Josh. "But-" I cut him off, "No. I got this love" I smiled. Josh nodded and walked out of the room. I put the chair back by Josh's desk. I picked up the rope and laid it on Josh's bed. I don't know how Zayn could hurt Josh so much to make him want to die. Zayn has hurt Josh before but not that hard to make Josh hang himself. I picked up some of the pieces of the closet and threw it away. I took the rope and threw that away too. I sighed and saw Josh was sitting on the couch shaking. He was drinking the tea and just staring at the wall. I sat next to him and put his feet on my lap. "Wanna watch some tv" I smiled at Josh who wouldn't look at me. "No" he just kept staring at the wall. "Alright." Josh has never acted like this. He must be really hurt.. I wish I knew what to do.. I know.. When Josh was young he used to always be happy when he got some ice cream and got his feelings out. His mum used to just give him ice cream and he would talk. Then he would be fine again. But I don't know if that will work now.. He was like 6 when his mum did that.. He's 17 now.. But maybe it will still work. I just want to see Josh smile or do anything instead staring at freaking wall! What the hell is so amazing about a god damn wall! I picked up Josh's feet and put them on the couch. I got up and started to head towards the fridge. "Where you going" Josh looked at me. "To get something" I smiled. I went into the freezer. I found some mint ice cream. I grabbed it and opened it. I got a spoon and walked back to Josh. I took the tea away from him and gave him the ice cream. "I'm not hungry" Josh sighed. "Eat it Devine" I laughed and put his feet back on my lap. He sighed and started to eat the ice cream. "So Josh do you wanna talk about why you hung yourself.. Besides that Niall left you" I smiled. Josh put the ice cream down and nodded. "Well Zayn has been trying to take Niall away from me. Not that he likes him but cause he has this power over me. He already took Harry from Liam and just wants me to feel like Liam. But I felt worse cause Niall was all I got. Liam has Louis! I felt so small compared to Zayn... I felt like the only way to feel better is if I was dead" Josh looked me in the eyes. "So Zayn made you feel so bad that you wanted to end your life" I looked at Josh. Josh just nodded. "Do you ever think you could talk to someone. Like me. Your mum.." "I don't know.. It didn't come to me at the time" Josh sniffled. "Just don't do that again" I smiled at Josh. "I won't Joey" Josh sighed. "You promise?" "Yes Joey.." Josh sighed. "You sure" I laughed. "I'm not answering you now" Josh rolled his eyes and smirked. "Good" I smiled. Josh pulled me on him and hugged me. Well not actually hugging but like me on top of him with his arms wrapped around him. "I love you Joey" Josh smiled. "I love you too Joshie" I laughed.

-*-

 "Can you play Ed Sheeran" Josh laughed. "Yeah, what song" I rolled my eyes and put in the + CD. "You need me, I don't need you" Josh smiled and jumped on his bed. Josh started banging on his bed. "See, I’m true, my songs are where my heart is I’m like glue, I stick to other artists I’m not you, now that would be disastrous Let me sing and do my thing and move to greener pastures" I sang. Well sort of yelled. "See, I’m real, I do it all, it’s all me I’m not fake, don’t ever call me lazy  won’t stay put, give me the chance to be free Sffolk sadly seems to sort of suffocate me" Josh sang and laughed. "I sing and write my own tune and I write my own verse! Hell don't need another word-smith to make my tune sell" I sang again. Josh just laughed. We kept banging on things and running around Josh's room. "They say I’m up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator" me and Josh yelled. Josh laughed as the song turned off. "Wow" I laughed and sat next to Josh on the bed. "That was fun" Josh laughed and moved closer to me. "Yeah" I laughed and turned my head to see Josh smiling at me. I started to lean into Josh and he did the same.. I didn't think I loved Josh as much as I did. Yes, he's my best friend and yes i'm gay. Doesn't make me like Josh.. Our lips touched and everything just spun in my head. He pushed down on me and I landed on his pillow with him on top. My member were like touching. I just hope he's not doing this just cause he wants to forget about Niall or something.. He licked my bottom lip for an entrance and I gave it to him. He explored my mouth and sometimes out tongues touched. I really don't know where this is going. I put my hand on Josh's mouth and pulled him away. "I'm sorry.. Was I being too pushy" Josh sighed. "No. You were fine. But I want to make sure your going this for all the right reasons." "Joey, when I said I loved you I meant it. I know I say I love you all the time as like best friends but I don't know. That time it meant more. And if Niall really wanted me he would of ran back" Josh smiled and climbed back on me. I nodded and Josh started to kiss my neck. I can't believe it. Josh Devine actually likes me. I always looked up to him and everything but to have him want me more than just a friend made me feel special. I always loved Josh but as a friend like he said. I never thought I would love my best friend. I don't think it will really last but I want it to. But no one can see the what will happen. Not even Josh. Even if someone wants something really much it's all gonna fail.. Well usually.. But for now he's my prince and I will do whatever it takes to keep him save. Save from danger and hurting himself. Not cause right now he's my boyfriend but cause were best friends. And best friends never let each other down. Even if one does something so stupid or bad. The other is always there.

-*-

 I woke up in Josh's bed. I looked at my phone and it was 10 already. "JOSH WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP" I yelled as I turned around. He wasn't there. I grabbed my boxers and quickly put them on. "Cause i'm not going to school. Sorry.." Josh sighed. He was in the kitchen making tea. "I'll skip one more day" I shrugged and walked back into Josh's room to get dressed. "Alright" Josh yelled. I got my pants and top on and walked back out in the kitchen. "Want some tea" Josh smiled at me. I shook my head. "Alright" Josh smiled and sat next to me on the couch. I sat on his lap and laughed. "Do you think i'm Santa Cottle" Josh laughed. "No" I laughed and pecked Josh's lips. Josh pushed me off of him and ran to the porch. I ran after him and jumped on the couch out there. He started to play on his drums to a random beat. Josh is amazing at playing drums. No, Josh is amazing at anything. He's amazing at just letting his hair look like freaking sex hair even if he didn't have sex. He's amazing at humming any random song when he wants. He always has this tune in his head that he has to beat to. I like playing key board but he's better at playing drums than me playing key board. He learned before me though. He tried to teach me how to play dums but I just like failed epic. But I tried to teach him how to play key board too and he totally got it. Josh kept playing the beat to DNA by Little Mix. It was cute when he flipped his hair when he played the drums. His arms were hot when he his the beat. The way he taps his foot in ever beat is cute. He does it all the time even if he isn't playing the drums. Josh thinks he's bad at everything but he's not.. He's perfect.. I looked into the woods in front of Josh's flat and just saw Zayn staring at us.... "Josh.. Do you see Zayn down there too" I poked Josh. "Yeah, he's always down there. Let's go" Josh ran inside and I followed him. "Josh what was that about. You better not say nothing or i'm just gonna go. Why is Zayn like stalking you?!" 

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