Club - a Breddy Fanfic.

43) Breakfast?

"What do you want to eat? Bread? Eggs? I can also cook rice?" Eddy asks, putting a frying pan on the stove. He walks over to the fridge and pokes his head inside. "Ah! I also have some bacon if you like?"
There no answer that follows to his question. Eddy looks questioningly at the person on the couch.
Brett is sitting there with his legs crossed, his head turned sideways to the window. He's staring outside into nothing, deep in thoughts. Eddy wonders what he's thinking. Thank God he's still here. After they got out of bed, they picked up their clothes where they scattered them last night, then Brett plopped himself onto the couch and hasn't moved since.

Eddy knows they needs to talk about yesterday and what how they will go from this point. He doesn't look forward to it, because Brett won't like to talk about the past. It will most likely be at best awkward and probably more difficult. But in order to move on they have to do it.
But they should definitely have breakfast first! Hard stuff is best discussed on a full stomach after all.

There is still no answer from the couch, so he repeats his question.
"What do you want to eat? Bread? Eggs? I can also cook rice for you?"
Brett nods, but he doesn't look up.
That's not an answer. Eddy chuckles. "Brett? There are at least two options here. Choose please? Bread and eggs or something with rice?" he asks, patiently.

After waiting a few seconds and still no answer, he walks over to the couch. If it would have been anyone else, he would have hugged Brett from behind, startling him out of his thoughts. But after their talk this morning he knows that would be a terrible idea, so instead he drops down before him and in the hope to get his attention. There is no reaction, Brett is clearly not seeing him, looking only at the shadows his mind is playing outside. He waves a hand in front of Brett's face. "Earth to Brett?"

Brett startles from his thoughts, blinks a few times, and finally sees Eddy sitting in front of him.
"Oh, sorry." He looks down at Eddy, a hint of sadness present in his eyes, and a small smile around his lips. "You said something?"

"Yeah. What's for breakfast? Bread? And eggs? Rice?" Eddy smiles sweetly at him, not bothered by the fact that he's asking him for the fourth time now.

"Ah! Of course. Uhm. Bread and eggs would be nice."

Eddy gets up, leans over and kisses him on his head. "Okay, I will fry some eggs then. I'll be right back." He tries to go to the kitchen, but is stopped in his track by Brett's hand wrapping around his leg. Eddy looks down in surprise. Brett has lowered his gaze and bites his lip. He clearly doesn't want to let Eddy leave. Oh? Does Brett need him close? Why doesn't he just ask? Is he too embarrassed?

Eddy pushes Brett softly on his shoulder. "Come on then, scoot over." Brett makes room for him and Eddy sits himself beside him, wraps an arm around him and puls him close. Brett immediately leans into the embrace and rests his head on Eddy's shoulder. He sighs deeply, his breath quivering slightly, but he stays silent.

Eddy looks at him, trying to read his face. Fuck, he looks so vulnerable right now. What can he do to make this better? Is being silent like this enough? Does he need something else? Eddy doesn't know, so he just sits like this for a while and waits.
Minutes pass while they just lean against each other, as if frozen in time, gazing out of the window at nothing, thinking, breathing.

After a while, Eddy takes a cautious glance at Brett and sees that his eyes are filled with tears.
"You okay?" he asks softly.

Brett shakes his head sideways. "Not really. I don't know."

Eddy wonders once more what is going on inside that brain of his. He hopes that Brett will trust him, let him in, no matter how scary that may seem. He hugs him tighter. "You will be. It will take time, but it'll be okay. I'll be here for you."

"Why?" a tear rolls down Brett's cheek and he swallows visibly. "Why would you?"

"Because I like you, you dumbass." Eddy squeezes his arm. "I told you I'm not looking for just a night together. I really, really like you." He kisses Brett's hair. "Of course I don't like you having panic attacks and feeling broken, but it's not that I don't like you because of it. I just want to see you happy. Preferably with me."

Although Brett nods, it's obvious he's not totally convinced. He's quiet for some time before he answers, his voice just a mere whisper against Eddy's neck. "But Eddy... I'll make your life difficult. You know that now. I don't want to do that. But I also want to be with you. Isn't that selfish?" He sniffs.

Eddy takes Brett's chin in his hand, turns it to him and rubs a tear from his cheek with his index finger. "No. It's not. Listen, this is just something we have to deal with. Let's see if we can figure it out together? I know it will be difficult sometimes, but I also know we can do this."

"But why me? Why do you want to go through such lengths for me?" Brett searches his face.

"I don't know for sure." Eddy answers pensively. "I just know that I can't picture my life without you anymore. Please don't make fun of me for this, but I feel we belong together. There is no other way."

Brett sees the sincerity in Eddy's eyes. He smiles carefully. "Yeah. Us together feels so different than I have ever experienced with someone else. It's kind of weird because how long have we known each other now? It's so perfect, but also so scary because it's all so fast."

"You think it's perfect?" Eddy glows by his remark.

"Yeah, kinda." Brett blushes.

"I think so too." Eddy lifts Brett's face again and kisses him sweetly.
And finally he feels Brett's muscles getting less tense, relaxing bit by bit.
Eddy also relaxes, because Brett does. He hopes, oh how he hopes. Oh please, please let me share your pain, we will find a way and then things will work out.

Suddenly a loud grumble emerges from Eddy's stomach, startling them both, making them snicker.
"Okay, my stomach want's to have a say in this too."

They both laugh, getting the tension out of the air.
"Bread and eggs, please." Brett laughs. "I'll help."