Club - a Breddy Fanfic.

96) Not Afraid

Brett caresses Eddy's cheek softly with his thumb. "Listen, Eddy. Timo's said that you can dance, so I'm just excited to see what you've got." Brett scoots closer and puts his free hand on Eddy's hip. "It's certainly nothing to be worried about. Really. I'm biased anyway, because I love the way you move."

Eddy sniffs and looks up carefully. Brett seems honest. Should he play his cards open? Will it make this undertaking any better? Maybe it's better. The sharp edges might smooth a bit. He leans against the warm, comforting palm of Brett's hand and closes his eyes. "I just don't know. I've been on the verge of a panic attack all day." he confesses softly.

"Aww, sweetheart! Come here." Brett gets up and holds his hand out. Eddy considers for a second, but then takes it reluctantly. He's pulled up before he knows it and enveloped in a thorough hug. "Sweetheart," Brett whispers again, "Don't worry."
Eddy tries to swallow his anxiety away. Brett's right of course.
Brett seems to deliberate for a moment, then he takes his phone out of his back pocket and the next thing he hears is the sound he knows very well by now. It the music that's played at the Club. Slowly Brett moves his hips from left to right, taking Eddy along with him until they are following the beat. His hands rest on the small of Eddy's back, grounding him. Slowly he moves their dance around the table to the open space between the couch and the kitchen. The beat starts pumping and Eddy squints his eyes. Even with the volume down, it seems too loud.
"I know, love. Don't listen to the music. Listen to the words." Brett whispers close to his ear, while moving round and round. When the lyrics start, Eddy listens obediently.

"So many little things followed me
So many little things that bothered me
But I found my answer
From all the chaos that followed me
I have found my answer'

Suddenly Brett starts singing, drowning out the voice of the original singer, changing the words slightly.
"I've told you before follow me"
"Because I am your answer"
Brett beams at him like he's done something awfully well.
"And now something that you should take to heart." he says through the beat as the chorus starts.

'I'm not alone, I'm not afraid, I'm not unhappy.
These are the words I say to myself everyday
I'm not alone, I'm not afraid, I'm not unhappy
Tell me what ritual I should have today
But I'm not alone'

Brett twirls Eddy around, catches his waist again and wraps his arms around it, swinging them back and forth along with the beat.

'I've resolved so many things and set myself free
And I'm not alone, I'm not afraid, I'm not unhappy
The words I say to myself every day
I am not alone, I'm not afraid, I'm not unhappy.
Such a stupid ritual to have to say to myself everyday'
'I'm not alone, but I found my answer and set myself free.
I'm not, not, not unhappy.'

"Come on, sing with me!" Brett demands, moving them.
Eddy hesitates. If only he could believe those words. Oh, how he wants to believe them. Brett tightens his embrace as an encouragement while he sings the easy lines loudly. The words are really not difficult to remember. Another squeeze and Eddy is singing along. Hesitantly at first, but when the chorus line is emphasized they both yell it out loud.

"I'M NOT AFRAID!"
"I'M NOT AFRAID!"

It feels liberating and to his surprise when it's over Eddy does feel better.
Brett looks at him questioningly, eyebrows raised. Eddy gives him a genuine smile. "It did help, I think."

"I know this is not the most eloquent song, and the beat is very simple, but it's like a mantra if you sing it over and over again. And you'll start feeling better just the same." Brett presses their cheeks together and kisses the side of Eddy's mouth, his chin and his neck. Eddy relaxes in the embrace, slowly letting go all of the anxiety he's been holding all day. He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it go again. He feels Brett's smile against his neck. "I don't remember lyrics that often, because this music is just for my body to move, but this one stuck. I've never cared for any music besides classical."

"I did." Eddy confesses. "When I was younger I listened to K-pop quite often. Pretty boys and nice moves. I copied them. That's what Timo has seen. I've never danced to the music they play at the Club."

Brett raises his eyebrows. "K-pop? I don't know K-pop. I'd like to see it. Please?" He blinks his lashes like he's a teen girl wanting her mother to buy more make-up for her.

For one seconds Eddy's insides twist, anxiety trying to get a grip on him, but he carefully puts those feelings aside. No. He's not falling into that trap again. Eddy smiles. "'I'm not afraid'?"

Brett practically glows. "Perfect!" Brett puts his hands on Eddy's hips and moves them softly. "But first, let's see how you move to this beat."

After ten minutes Eddy already knows all the basics and follows Brett's lead flawlessly. It's actually very easy. Most of the movements are repetitive like he thought and as long as you stick to the top beat, nothing can go wrong.

"See? You've got this down already. Nothing to worry about." Brett grins as he spins Eddy around. "But now I'm curious to your 'K-pop' moves. Show me?"

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Lyrics from VNVnation: Fearless
A/N: I guess this is my mantra in difficult times ;)