Club - a Breddy Fanfic.

60)

Brett looks at Eddy in disbelief.
"Do you have any idea how much is wrong with that sentence." Brett states.
"One: How would they know what my type is?"
Brett makes Eddy look at him by pulling his head towards him.
"Seriously. They have no freaking idea. I don't know them and I don't want to either. I like you. Not them. You are definitely my type. End of story."

"You know you fucked one of them, right?" Eddy states bluntly. He won't be easy to convinced that easily.

Brett blinks and thinks hard, long enough that Eddy starts to wonder if he has truly forgotten, or that he's just humouring him.
"I might have done something with the black haired one...?" he finally admits, with hesitation.

"Dude! It was the first night that I saw you that you left with her! You really don't remember?"

After another few seconds Brett's face lights up.
"Oh! Yeah. I remember now. Her dad almost walked in on us."

"You don't say."
Eddy knows he brought it up, but he really doesn't need to know details now.

Brett sees Eddy's face fall and quickly explains further.
"It was also the night I talked with Mason, explaining that I was so done with it all. I was wishing for you to come to me so hard. Well, at that time I didn't know it was you I specifically was looking for, but I knew I wanted someone like you."

Eddy gives him a blank stare.
"Right."

Brett decides to ignore that remark.
"That brings me to two: How on earth do you think that you're ugly?!"

"God, Brett. You have to admit that they looked very cute! And I know you like long hair."

"It's not that I only like cute girls. You should have seen my ex. She was definitely not cute. A bombshell, yes, strong, yes, but cute? Never. Maybe those girls back at the Club looked cute, dunno, but I definitely don't like them. I like you, in looks and in feel and in mind. The whole package."

Eddy sighs. Sure, he can say that, but meaning it is another story.
"I need braces to fix my teeth again."

Brett blinks in surprise.
"What kind of tangent is that? But okay, I'll humour you. If you truly want them, I won't object. But I like your teeth the way they are now."
To prove his point, he kisses him. He licks his lips and presses them open softly. Eddy hesitatingly parts them. Brett's tongue traces the outline of Eddy's teeth, then dances shortly with Eddy's tongue and traces them again to make a point.
"I happen to like your teeth. They're not fixed in a generic toothpaste commercial smile like so many others have. Yours are unique. I love them. Period."

How can Brett say that so easily? Tears come of their own will, overflowing the lids, until Eddy can't hold it anymore. He starts to cry for real now, hiding his face into Brett's shirt. Big sobs leave him as he cries and cries, wetting the shirt under him. Brett doesn't seems to mind and keeps on holding him tightly, stroking his arms and kissing his hair softly.
How can he love him? Does he even? Why would he? Pathetic loser that he is. It's just like before. He can't do anything normally. Be something normal.

"I like your teeth." Brett repeats.
"They belong to you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, got that?"

Eddy shakes his head against Brett's t-shirt. He has no idea how he's supposed to believe that. He's calming down a little, because crying all day is not an option. He shakily breaths in.
"You know... you know when I was little I used to be so, so very shy, that it became a problem. My parents put me in some sort of therapy. It helped. After that I could talk to people, make friends and I could perform. Sort off." He takes another deep breath. "But I never lost the self-consciousness completely. Do you know how it feels that when people look at you, you become so self-aware that you freeze up, or even worse, that you have to throw up because of all the tension it brings?"
Brett shakes his head.
"Well, I do." Eddy states again.

"Is that what happened tonight?" Brett keeps on stroking his arm, soothing him.
"It's hard to understand for me. Because when looking at myself I've always genuinely liked to be around other people. I guess you could call me an extravert? It's not that I don't care about people's opinions, but I don't let them lead me." He blinks but keeps on stroking softly.
"Is it something like stage fright? That's something I've always experienced. On some occasions more than others of course. Just like everybody else. Is it something like that?"
Eddy looks at him. Brett's face is open, without any prejudice.
He nods.

"Yeah. But in situations that are considered normal for everybody else. Like I said: I can manage quite normally nowadays. I can even be bold and often don't give a fuck anymore."

"You've been bold with me, no?"

"Yeah, but that was completely out of character." Eddy snickers.
"It was going quite nicely lately, but I think because I screwed up so much today, my confidence hit rock bottom. And then those bitches started shaming my looks, telling me I wasn't good enough for you. Of course I started to question myself. Because I know I'm not a 10 and at best days a meagre 7."
Brett inhales sharply, clearly to counter that, but Eddy holds up his hand and continues.
"So then I couldn't help thinking: what would you possibly be seeing in me?"
He sighs in defeat.

"Eddy!" Brett stares at Eddy in amazement.
"Really?! Are you questioning my good taste?!"

Eddy smiles wryly, but his eyes still sad. This mood won't be leaving him anytime soon.
"Sorry Brett. It won't be getting any better today. I need to sleep and then it will be okayish in the morning."
He sighs once more. He knows he won't be good company tonight.
"You'd better go home."

Brett startles. "Do you want me to go home? Or am I allowed to stay as well?"

Eddy swallows.
"Of course I want you to stay. But_"
But wouldn't he be expecting things when he's staying the night? Eddy knows he can't do something like that. Not tonight. He decides to play his cards open, because what else is left?
"I can't do anything besides sleeping now. I don't want to bother you." he whispers.

Brett hugs him, because he hears the conflict in his voice.
"I really want to stay, if you let me." he says sincerely.
"You know what I want? That in an hour from now, you are lying against me and that you have fallen asleep in my arms. And that next morning when you wake up, you'll see me besides you and you know immediately that I'm here for you. Just like you have been for me. How did you say it so eloquently? I'm not in it for a quick fuck?"
 Brett lifts Eddy's chin and kisses him sweetly.
"Neither am I. I'll always be here for you. Okay?"

Eddy blinks against the tears pressing themselves forward again. What kind of an emotional wreck is he tonight?! Can't he do more than cry? He swallows, breaths in deeply and pushes the tears away. He then nods.
"I would like that too."

"Thank God."
Brett envelopes him in a tight hug and kisses him again.