Club - a Breddy Fanfic.

82)

Brett briefly digs his fingers in Timo's leg, making him wince, grounding him.

"He doesn't want to go back, because Mason wants what you want." He would like to add 'oblivious bastard', but he doesn't. Some things are better left unsaid.
Timo rises his head from his hands slowly and looks up questioningly at Brett. Brett nods decisively.

Finally Mason unfreezes.
"Timo." Mason scratches to get Timo's attention, putting a hand on Timo's cheek. He turns him to face him, fixing their gazes together. He nods vehemently.
"Yeah?" he asks softly and leans over until their foreheads touch. "Please?"

Now it's Timo who is lost for words. He leans back, so he can see Mason's face and read his intentions. "What? But-"

Mason -more a man of action than words in matters of love- leans over, grabs Timo by his neck, pulls him close and pushes their lips together. Brett beams at Eddy, who himself is smiling so hard by now it might split his head in two. Mason lets go, he scrapes his throat. "I want to, really want to, like... date you." he says shyly.

"You do?" Timo asks, flabbergasted, not grasping the new reality he is in. "But I... But I was so convinced that you didn't want me. That it, no we, couldn't be-"

"Because of my stupid reaction yesterday?" Mason asks with shame on his face.

Timo nods, now straitening up fully. "And I really thought you were straight."

"So did I." Mason chuckles. Then he continues in a more serious tone. "I've never had feelings for a guy, you know. You are my first." He shrugs and then knits his eyebrows together. "And even now... I don't know where to put my feelings or how to address them in the right way. It's just... It's just an all-consuming urge of wanting to be with you more closely every single fucking time we meet."

Timo nods. "Yeah. I know how you feel. That's a really weird thing between us."

"But you, mister! You didn't come off as gay, bi or anything different than straight either! You never said anything!" Mason accuses back.

"I know!" Timo shoots back, desperately. "I know. We had such an amazing friendship developing! The way we understand each other. And see the world for that matter. I want that back!"

Mason nods. "You know, most of the time I wanted these romantic feelings to go away. I really thought: why ruin it with this?" He scoffs. "But then I also wanted to get closer. To kiss you. I wanted so, so desperately to kiss you that I couldn't think straight anymore."

"Straight..." Timo repeats, earning him a look, but he doesn't smile.

"So I don't know why it has to be you. I really don't want to lose what we had as well." At this point Mason seems to regard his knees with interest.

"Me neither." Timo's voice breaks. "I've been thinking about it all night. I want to be with you, but I don't know if we should. Risking our friendship, our friends, our way of life... Being frowned upon all the time for being together. I don't know if I want that life."

Mason swallows with difficulty. "You don't?"

Brett has been looking at his friends in turn like he's watching a tennis match, but at this point he stares at Timo with open mouth. What the hell? What is Timo saying? Didn't he like Mason? And Eddy said... He looks through all the confusion at Eddy, who wears the same expression as he does.
His gaze snaps to Mason's to see how he's handling this. Tears are forming in the corner of his eyes, almost overflowing the eyelid. Oh no, this is not going in the right direction.
For a few seconds the only sound in the room comes from the birds outside, sitting on the branches of the tree in front of the window, chirping their joyous song like there are no difficulties in life. Before Brett has his words together, Eddy steps in.

"Timo, mate, what do you saying?" Eddy asks, "You've been nothing but open minded towards sexual preferences. Aren't you the dandy, the free spirit, the happy-go-lucky kind of guy? What are you so scared off?"
Timo folds his hands on his knees and looks at them closely like they are the most important thing in his life, avoiding his best friend's look.
"Tim?" Eddy asks again, now more urgently. "What is this?"

"I don't... I'm afraid to screw it up and lose him and the group of friends we have gathered now." Timo whispers. "I just realised it that I really don't want to lose what we had over some hormones."

"Then I'm gonna ask the question I asked you this morning again." Eddy bites. "Can you go back to how it was? Keeping distance. Trying not to want more. You know being friends with someone you love is one of the most difficult things to do!" he scoots over so that he's in front of Timo and lifts his chin with one hand so he has to look him in the eye. "Especially when said person wants you back."
And Brett just would hug him by now. Eddy, you perfect guy! You have such a way with words. Make him see it differently. Oh, please make him.
"And did you consider the possibility that even if you can, that he can't? Did you think about that?" Eddy sounds really angry now. "Look. At. Him!" Eddy snaps as he roughly pushes Timo's face aside so he has to look at Mason. Poor Mason is crouching in the corner of the couch, his face infinitely sad. Words have left him once more, silent tears are rolling down his cheeks. "Look! You think you can go back to how it was, eh?!"