Club - a Breddy Fanfic.

77) Are you awake?

Brett looks around the, empty, living room. There are not plates, no cups. Mason can't have left his room yet. He hesitantly walks to Mason's bedroom door and knocks softy. There is no answer, but he hears movement behind the door.
He knocks again.
"Mason? Are you awake, mate?"

"No." A dark voice grumbles back.

Brett hesitates. It's clear Mason doesn't want to talk, but how many times has Mason has done this for him. He has to talk, whether he wants it or not. Otherwise he can help him.
"I'm sorry mate, but I'm going in anyway."
He opens the door with caution and peeks in. The curtains are drawn shut, filling the room with black and grey tones. It takes his eyes a moment to accustom to the dark, then he distinguishes a hump on Mason's bed, demonstratively turning his back to the entrance. As soon as Brett enters Mason pulls his blankets up so high that only a part of his curls are visible above them. Brett walks softly over to the bed, avoiding all the clothing and stuff on the ground, and sits on the soft mattress beside the hump. Mason has done this countless times with Brett, but this is the first time the tables are turned. God, it's hard to know what to say. How does Mason always find the right words? Brett takes a deep breath and decides to go with the flow. He puts a hand on Mason's shoulder and squeezes slightly.
"Hey, Mase. You okay?"
Silence greets Brett for a while and for a moment he wonders if Mason is really awake or sleeping still.
"Mason? Talk to me, please?" he tries again.
A shrug. Okay, so he is awake. But what now? Brett can talk fine, he has mastered the superficial conversations to perfection ages ago. But he's not used to this kind of talking, with a lot of emotions involved. This is more Mason's or Eddy's expertise. Eddy would definitely know what to do. So what would Eddy say?
"Eddy said I have to talk to you." He hesitates. It's a start and it's the truth as well. "Because something happened last night." That should do it.

"What did he say?" Mason asks quietly from under the blanket.

Oh. That was not the reply Brett expected. Maybe he should just tell him what he knows? Not that Timo is at Eddy's, but the rest should be fine?
"He told me that Timo kissed you. And that you froze. Apparently."

Suddenly the heap of blankets move as Mason turns around, almost pushing Brett off the bed in the action. His head appears above sheets. Even in the dim-lit room Brett can see that Mason's looking terrible. There are blue bags under his swollen, red, bloodshot eyes and it's clear he didn't get much sleep, if any at all.

"Yeah. He did." Mason croaks. "I didn't expect it. There was no warning. I had spent all afternoon convincing myself that it would never happen and that I had to put my feelings for him away. To forget them. And then..." He sighs deeply. "And I just couldn't get my head around it at that moment." He sighs again.

Brett nods. "Because it was so sudden."
Mason nods.
"But did you like it?"

"Didn't get the chance to find out. Timo startled as well and within a second he pulled away hastily. Like he couldn't believe he'd done it. You should have seen his look. He was horrified. So then I really froze up." Mason coughs and rubs his eyes. "And he ran."

"You didn't go after him?"

"Not after it being too late. He was already out of the street when I got to the door." Mason sits up and rubs his eyes again. "I've called him a dozen times already, but he doesn't pick up his phone." A tear rolls over. Mason angrily swipes it and sags his shoulders. "I've ruined my chance, Brett. As always. I've ruined everything."

"No. Don't believe that. You didn't-"

"I'm not made to be loved." Mason sniffs, not letting Brett finish. "I always fuck up. As evidenced by all the fuck-ups I have collected over the years."

"That's not all on you, mate, and you know it. You didn't fuck it up this time, it just happened and now there is a misunderst-"

"You remember Tanja?" Mason interrupts. "God, she was beautiful. Oh, how dark was her skin, it shined. It lasted not even three weeks before she ran when I fucked up."

Brett thinks back, remembering clearly. "Okay, that one wasn't your strongest."

"And Precious? She had the prettiest butt imaginable. Her parents didn't want to see her with 'that beach boy'," Mason rolls his eyes back, "like they used to call me. I couldn't talk to them or even defend myself to her, because like always, I turned into a mute moron when I have to fight for the one I love. She thought I didn't want to fight for her, so she broke it off."

"Yeah, but you were much younger back then."

"Penelopy. Yizhou. Shihaan. Do I need to go on?"

"Penelopy was a bitch, really. Yizhou was two-timing you. Shihaan? I can't remember a Shihaan."

Mason scoffs. "Don't you see the pattern? Those were all girls, all darker and much prettier than me, and as soon as they found out I'm nothing like I look, aka not the 'beach-boy'" he spits the term out through gritted teeth, "they presumed me to be, but a classical music nerd with no means of talking like a normal human being instead, they lost interest or I did something stupid, giving them an option to break things off. Not one of them wanted me for who I was. And now I have found something else I can fuck up: A friendship I really loved. Someone I can really talk to." He lets himself fall and buries his face in his cushion. "What the hell am I doing falling for a pretty white boy? I'm an idiot." He smashes his head in his pillow in frustration.

"Hmm. Maybe that's the breakthrough you needed? A guy instead of a girl? And someone who knows and understands you?" Brett puts a hand on Mason's back. "You know it's working out for me."
He flicks on the small lamp that's on his nightstand, making them both squint against the brightness. Mason stays silent.
"And he kissed you first. So my guess is that he feels the same as you. Give it a chance?"

"But I didn't give any reaction. I scared him away." Mason almost whispers, his voice so very small. "I called him a dozen times, but he didn't pick up his phone. It's too late."

Brett looks at his broken friend. "Don't jump to conclusions. There must be a reason for that." Brett bumps Mason's shoulder. "Okay, listen. This is what we are going to do: You are getting dressed, we'll eat something and then we go to Eddy's place to talk about this."

"Why Eddy's?"

"Because I'm sure he'll know about Timo and how to handle him. Make a plan."

Mason grumbles something, but sighs and sits up. He looks at Brett warily. "I don't know what to do anymore. I can't think straight."
Brett raises his eyebrows at that last sentence, biting his lip to keep the obvious remark contained. Mason understands anyway and rolls his eyes backward. But he smiles, which must be a win.
"Jeesh. You know what I mean. Thanks for your help though, I can really use your guidance in this."

"Of course. I'll have your back. Always."