Your eyes tell || JinLia ff

Part 8

"I'm so sorry for all this trouble Ryujin." Lia said a little hurt while Ryujin put a cold towel on her head. She was laying down on her bed, with her blanket while Ryujin sat on a chair next to her.
"Don't worry. It can happen any time." Ryujin comforted her with her words.
"I can't remember the last time I was sick actually."
"You might have not realized it."
"Probably, or maybe I didn't want to trouble my parents."
"Even though I don't want you getting sick, don't hesitate telling me about this kind of things, okay?"
"Okay." Lia smiled, in awe of Ryujin's generosity and tenderness.
"Alright, this should help you feel better. I'll see what medicines this house has and see what I can do." Ryujin said as she stood up. Lia quickly grabbed her hand, forcing her to stay.
"It's okay. It'll go away naturally."
"I don't think it will. I checked your temperature. It's pretty high."
"Trust me, I'll be fine." Lia smiled at her concern. She realized what she had done earlier and let go of Ryujin's hand. "Sorry."
"N-no it's okay. Is there anything else you need?"
"Hmm, no."
"Then I'll let you rest here. Sleep is really important." Ryujin said as she walked to the door.
"Ryujin- can you stay here for a bit?"
"Wouldn't that disturb you?"
"It wouldn't."
"I guess I can do that." Ryujin said as she sat back in her seat.

"How is life like in New York?" Lia asked after a moment of silence.
"It's good. But work keeps you busy."
"Do you have lots of friends?"
"I have three friends in total."
"Does that include me?" Lia laughed.
"Including you - that would be four." Ryujin reverted. "And you?"
"Including you? One."
"One?"
"Mhm."
"I don't get why though. You seem like a great person to be friends with." Ryujin frowned.
"It's okay. I don't need anyone as long as I have one good friend."
"I guess one true friend is better than many fake ones."
"Yeah."

"Ryujin, can I tell you something?"
"Go ahead."
"I've never told anyone else before."
"I'll listen to every word."
"And I think it will make me feel a bit better."
"Tell me."
"I really hate myself." Lia said leaving Ryujin silent. "My entire life, I've been expected to function in a way that is different to what my mind tells me. I've been forced to work under these unreachable expectations, and it's eating me up inside. I can't remember the last time I truly did something I wanted to. It makes me view life like a system and how I'm just a prisoner to this system. Everywhere I go, this burden follows me. And no matter how hard I try, it's all futile in the end. I've failed everyone around me. I've failed myself." Lia started crying uncontrollably, her nose running and sniffing as much as she could. "I just want to die Ryujin."

"Lia-"
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have bombarded you with that."
"I don't want to sugarcoat things, because the future is unpredictable. You never know how different life will be like in five years from now, you don't even know if you'll be alive in five years. What's happening to you, it's unjust. It's cruel. It's horrible. To experience all this, it makes you feel vulnerable and disgusted. I'm wrong in saying I understand what you mean, because this pain is greater than anything I've felt. But there's one thing I know for sure. You need find a reason to live. Live for yourself. It's your life. You have full right over it. Make yourself the reason behind living. And soon you'll see the world will brighten up."

"I don't think I can be my own reason."

"Then find that reason in something else. You said you love singing right? It's your dream right? Find this reason in writing songs, singing your heart out, letting your emotions free. I know very soon, you'll find that reason, and once you do, everything will start falling in place."

"Thank you Ryujin. That's all I've ever wanted to hear." Lia let more tears fall as she squeezed Ryujin's hand.

"Everything you ever want to hear, I'll tell you all those things." Ryujin smiled at Lia's gesture.

"Oh, this crying is going to make me feel even sicker later on." Lia laughed as she wiped the tears.
"It's good to cry you know. It will make you feel lighter. So, it's getting late. Should I bring dinner?"
"Oh right, the rest of the family are eating out."
"Yeah."
"I'll help you."
"Nope, you're going to stay here in bed while I get you your food." Ryujin smiled as she finally walked out the door.

"Damn, Ryujin, you're pretty amazing." Lia whispered to herself, blushing at the thought of Ryujin's kindness throughout all of this.

"Here you go!" Ryujin said as placed a tray on Lia's bed containing a plate of rice, chicken and soup.
"Thank you, and yours?"
"I'll eat after you."
"That's unfair. Eat with me." Lia pouted.
"Really, I'll eat after you."
"Fine.." she gave in but insisted Ryujin had the first bite. Ryujin accepted.

As Lia ate, Ryujin couldn't help but notice her innocence. Her eyes, either shining because she had just been crying, or shining because her future looked better than the present. Her nose still sniffling from crying so much, causing her to breathe with slight abrupt.

"I'll make sure you'll be alright." Ryujin said, without even realizing. Lia stayed silent, only giving her a sweet smile.