Obanai x Reader

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Thanks @itosan990 for the request!
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Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍⚧️
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‼️mentions of gender dysphoria‼️
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This was the part I hated the most. I scanned around the area for what must've been the tenth time still finding no one around. It didn't hurt to check again though and so I did until I felt the tiniest bit better that I was truly alone. A deep sigh exhaled through my nose as I clutched my haori in my tight grip. The lake was at least murky so if I duck down enough, no one would be able to see much. I just had to be fast getting in and out. God forbid someone sees me in between.

I gulped back my anxiety, knowing I needed to bathe. The sun was already past the midpoint of the sky and I did not want to be out here when nightfall came. I slid off my haori, looking over my shoulder consistently the entire time. Now was the hard part though. I made quick work of my shirt, able to cover up the scars on my chest thankfully as I moved to my pants.

Afterwards, I sprinted to the lakeside eagerly, flailing deep enough until the water covered me all the way to my collarbone. I sighed in relief at not being caught by any witnesses. I've been through a lot and have sacrificed too much to let one mishap ruin everything I've worked towards. A single glance at my body would be able to reveal too much to anyone. It was best to keep my secrets under wraps where no one could change their minds about me. I've found that images were too easy to break.

I didn't even bother looking down at myself as I splashed water onto me, scrubbing the dirt and grease from my skin. It felt good at least to clean myself. I wasn't sure when the next time I could sneak away like this to bathe would be. Especially with Tengen and Rengoku trying to get me to go to a hot spring with them lately, I'd have to figure out a new range of excuses to give them. It sucked that it had to be this way but I didn't know any way to fix it. I couldn't just grow what I was missing. There would always be something to separate me from the other guys.

I growled to myself, pressing my knuckle against my eye to stop the tear that threatened to spill. Dunking myself fully under, I let myself imagine that when I came back up again, everything would be as I dream it has been. When I did surface though, I only found a nightmare.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" a painfully familiar voice yelled out. I flinched in horror, seeing Obanai standing on the beach a few feet away. My arms instinctively wrapped around my chest even before I registered what he was doing. In his hands was a bandage, the one that usually covered his mouth. My jaw dropped at the scar that pulled at the corners of his lips. A whirl of pity, terror and shock coursed through me in the span of a few seconds.

"I'm so so sorry! I thought I was alone," I mumbled in a panic, desperately wanting to drown right then and there. Obanai seemed to be just as uncomfortable as I was before he shook his head almost sadly. With a huff, he took off his haori before starting to strip down. My head swiveled away as more horror spread through me. I didn't want him to get near to me like this. If he accidentally got too close he'd be able to find what I lacked.

"This isn't how I wanted to show you but whatever I guess. The least you can do is entertain me now," I heard Obanai sigh over my shoulder before the gentle splashing of water made me flinch. I refused to turn around, disbelief numbing me from the neck down. I found myself curling in further as if I could hide myself from him. It was too late though as I felt the ripples of his wading lapping at my back. "Are you alright, y/n?"

I shook my head, not able to form any words that wouldn't come out as shaky and cowardly. The best I could do was turn slightly to face Obanai. He stopped his swimming a few spaces away, not far enough away to put me at ease though. And just when I was sure I couldn't be freaking out any more, I felt the water shift only slightly from what seemed to be just a slightly stronger breeze...right when my arms dipped down from the chill.

"Y/n...are those scars?" His voice was soft, something I have rarely heard from him before. He sounded genuinely concerned and it only made me more devastated for what he was bound to find out. He would never use that tone with me again once he knew. I'd become nothing more than a freak, a disgusting shameful excuse for a human, much less a man. Tears ran down my face but before I could bring my hand up, Obanai was there to gently wipe them away.

"Who made those? Are you alright?" he asked quietly, cupping my face afterwards. This gentleness and subtle affection was really making me want to laugh and cry at the same time. It wasn't much of a secret that I held some sort of feelings for the Snake Hashira but what would he think of the real me? The man that couldn't go out on trips with the other guys, that didn't have all the right accessories, that had to fight to cut off his chest and find ways to lower his voice just to pass. It was that version of me that I had come to be ashamed of, almost more than the old me that I had killed long ago.

"I did. I'm not like you, Obanai. I was born different from who I am. Those scars, they're from something else that I had to cut out to feel like I was in my correct body," I whispered shakily, squeezing my eyes shut against the wave of shame and disgust I felt for myself just saying it out loud. I wasn't even sure what possessed me to confess this way to him but it could be the death of me. People have been killed for less and I was no exception.

"You're saying...you were born a..." he trailed off, noticing the way I hunched forward, overcome with more tears. His touch was nothing but caring as he gingerly held me above the water, his hands on my shoulders to keep me grounded yet afloat. There wasn't any malice or disgust in his voice as he whispered to me. "I don't quite understand. You've always seemed like a man to me. I suppose this means you're doing well for yourself."

My eyes widened in surprise as I looked at him, taking in the seriousness of his stare and the hard set of his scarred mouth. There was no teasing, no hatred, not even a grimace in the way he tilted his head at me. I couldn't help myself as I lurched towards him, wrapping my arms around him before fully realizing we were both naked. He didn't seem to mind as he gently hugged me back. If he noticed the subtle bumps of my scars, he didn't mention it as he leaned his head on my shoulder with our flat chests pressed together.

"You have no idea what that means to me, thank you," I whispered shakily. He nodded, pulling away to look at me with his dual colored eyes. When he smiled, his scar only made it look cuter and set my chest ablaze. It made me hope that one day I could tell my other friends what to expect so that I could go on more trips with them, so I could be more open. Maybe I'd be able to get the confidence to be comfortable with myself before setting my sights on someone else. Someone who would look at me the way Obanai was looking at me right now.

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