Glass Hearts || Noah Sebastian

5.

"Looks like you have a fanboy" Eli jokes with a small chuckle. Nodding his head in the direction behind me.

  I flick my eyes in annoyance. He always insists I have men dropping at my feet, and it drives me insane. Turning my slowly head only to amuse him with a small scoff.

   As soon as my eyes meet his I feel my heart fall into my stomach, the contents twisting and churning with a distasteful sensation. My insides erupting with a hot burn as I try to gather my thoughts. Throat instantly going raw and depleting of any and all forms of moisture. Staggered breathing as I find it impossible to look away, eyes drying up painfully. I try blinking a few times rapidly. Hoping that with each bat of my eyes the person standing right before me will disappear. Maybe I'm just seeing things. This can't be real. He isn't here.

  But every time they open and shut he still stands a few feet away. Whiskey colored eyes never once leaving me as his mouth parts. In this distance behind him I see all the guys laughing and chatting away in one of the many red sofas. They're oblivious to what's going on only a few feet behind them. Each and everyone looking different now, in some way. Chiseled with muscles, longer hair, more tattoos, and age. My heart pinching as the sight of Folio comes to view. A toothy grin plastered on his face as he makes lighthearted conversation with jolly. Heads thrown back in laughter as the friends get on without a single care. He was my greatest friend in a past life, and I'm glad to at least see him smile.

      But I wish it was anywhere but here.

   He attempts to step closer, but with my fist clenched tightly I back away. Eyes narrowing as I silently tell him to keep his distance. Thankfully, he gets the hint and doesn't try to get any closer.

  A million different emotions run through me all at once, but I can't manage to feel a thing. Nothing other than my stomach sizzling as my heart falls straight to the pit. I didn't plan on seeing him ever again, but surly not here. Of all clubs in this city he decided to waltz right through the doors of the one place that was never once tainted with his memory, or his voice.

   I always ran through a mental preparation of what I would do if this moment ever presented itself to me. Making myself believe that I would be strong enough to walk away like he wasn't worth a second thought, pretending like I didn't even know who he was. Like he never meant the world to me at one point in my life. I have imagined myself cussing him up one side and down the other, letting my volatile impulses win. I've come up with a million different scenarios in my head, and not in any single one did I ever prepare to just be frozen and overran with uncontrollable emotion. Like right now, with the opportunity literally fortifying right before me, all I want to do is cry. The stream of hot liquid quickly clouding my vision. All the hurt I had manage to push back these last couple of years coming up all at ounce, and with a vengeance.

  "You okay, Blair?" I hear Eli calling from somewhere behind me.

  Although I can hear his muffled voice layered somewhere under the pounding of my heart, and the loudly vibrating club music, I don't reply. I just turn away and walk back towards the dressing room. Stomping my feet aggressively with each powerful stride I take. Not bothering to check and see if he's following behind me, all I care about is the fact that I need to leave. It feels like I'm all but running, floating through the air as I make it to the back of the club quicker than anticipated. My heels echoing loudly as they smack against the solid ground beneath me. Sharply intaking a few deep breaths as I approach my belongings. I throw off my unsavory choice in footwear, slipping on my slides and not bothering to change out of my work attire. Rather, just sliding my sweats back on over my leather leotard clad body. I hectically race around my makeup station, gathering up the few personal belongings I have scattered about. Knowing I surely look like a maniac right now, but not caring enough about who's watching my erratic behavior.