A romantic adventure

Chapter 29- near death

(Y/n pov)

The next few weeks for me just got worse and worse. My N.E.W.T exams were coming up really close now, which put lots of stress on my shoulders. I hadn't spent any time with friends or with Severus and I haven't written to my grandparents to tell them that I was okay, so now they probably think I'm fucking dead. But now it was all just far too much

(SELF HARM TRIGGER WARNING FOR THE REST OF CHAPTER)

I had just gotten back to my dorm from an aggravating day full of exam pressure and overthinking. The overwhelming feeling of anxiety took over me again, which then results into cutting. Yes I've gotten back into that habit and now I can't keep clean. New cuts were appearing on my arms now every single day all because of the overwhelming anxiety.

As I sat in my bed, I just started to cry, I felt as if nothing could comfort me. Not even Severus' embrace and him telling me that everything will be okay. Because it wasn't going to be okay.

Do it. Just fucking do it. You deserve it.

These thoughts kept penetrating my brain until I finally gave up and headed to my dorm bathroom. I looked in the cupboards for the razor I kept in there for safe keeping until the feeling of euphoria came as I touched it. The razor was the only thing comforting me as I slit my wrist. Over and over again.

I started to sting but I didn't care. I wanted this pain and suffering. I started to grow light headed which I sort of wanted. I didn't intend to pass out. It was an intention for death. Because I just couldn't do this anymore. I grasped onto my razor so firmly that it cut deeply into my palm causing it to bleed immensely and vigorously, it throbbed like my wrists but this all wasn't enough. I started on my legs too. Deeper cuts were made into my thighs as I intended to loose as much blood as I could, everything was slowly turning black. Perhaps this was the end for me.....

I was going to die. I would finally be at peace with myself.

(Snape PoV)
I hadn't seen (y/n) in a while and it sort of worried me. Actually it really worried me. I was doing some work when so many things had crossed my mind, was she okay? Does she want us finished? Does she just want time? Well she had her N.E.W.Ts coming up extremely fast now, maybe that's one reason towards her stress and her distance.

These thoughts kept running through my mind until someone had knocked my door. "Come in," I bellowed. It was Mr. Coulter, one of (y/n)'s friends.

"Sir do you have any more healing potion, madam Pomfrey has run out and it's a major emergency," he said with worry. I perked up immediately and provided it.

"Here, now come on let's go," him telling me this made me gain a terrible pain in my stomach. Had something happened to (y/n)? I surely hope not, she has been through enough as it is. We arrived at the hospital wing with poppy immediately rushing over and snatching the potion out of my hands.

"Oh Severus, thank you so much, she's really hurt, I think she would be dead if it weren't for you as of now," she yelled with relief.

"Why? Who has been hurt?"

"Come and see for yourself," I anxiously walked over to the bed and was so shocked by what I had seen. (Y/n) she was lying there, her arms and hands covered with bandages and next to her Miss Khanna, her other friend, weeping like she had lived through years of grief.

"Wha- what- what ha- happened?" I stuttered by the sheer shock I felt upon seeing my girl, I tried to hide the immense sadness that was building up in me.

"BLOOD! EVERYWHERE! I COULDNT LEAVE HER NOT THERE! SHE WAS GONNA DIE!" Miss Khanna screamed throwing her head into (y/n)'s quilt. My love she had bled to the point where she had risked her life. Why hadn't she come to me? Was this all of my fault?

Tears started to form but I managed to hold them back for the time being. Merlin's beard, I felt as if I was going to faint. It took me back to the night I saw Lily in Godric's Hollow 6 years ago. But that was thing, was my (y/n) dead? I fucking hope not.

It was so good of Miss Khanna and Mr Coulter to come and bring her here to the hospital wing. In all honesty I wanted to just express my endless gratitude for them for saving her, that was if they were quick enough to see her. She might have been bleeding for 20 minutes before they had come but how do I know?

That's the thing I didn't. The door opened to reveal Pomona rushing over to her. "Alright I've sent an owl to her grandparents just to let them know what's just happened," she stated.

"Thank you, Pomona. Oh Miss Khanna, she'll be fine clam down," but she didn't. I couldn't bring myself to stay there and see my love half dead, so I went back down to my classroom. I prayed so hard that she would be okay, because I just could not lose someone again.

Dinner came and I just couldn't bring myself to go, I had no appetite whatsoever with everything that happened with (y/n). I was going to see her tonight, I did not care in the slightest on what Poppy or anyone else said. Yes it may expose our relationship but I wanted her to be okay.

(Midnight)
I knew for a fact now that Poppy would be asleep. So this is when I decided to sneak into the hospital wing and check on (y/n). Dinner was too risky to go as it would draw lots of suspicion. I opened the door and found her shut off behind the curtains. No. No she can't be! I went behind them and saw her lying in that bed looking completely lifeless, I touched her hand which was still warm and caressed her head.

"Oh my love why did you do this to yourself?" I whispered to her. This was where I started to really release it all out. Tears kept running down my face as I didn't let go of her until.

"Oh, Severus," a soft gentile voice spoke from behind me. A voice I knew all too well.

It was Albus.