Words that can't be written

Chapter 23

I'm now in Tita Ashkenazi's condo, I am arranging my things in my room with her help. She always asks if I am comfortable or need something, and she assured me she can provide it.

She acts like she's the one who bears me for 9 months.

She cooked me my favorite dish, I wanted to ask her how she knew.

"Before I leave the Philippines, I usually talk with your father over the phone. He always tells me a story about you, I'm glad I still remember it put to good use, now that you are here living with me."

I remember that night when my dad was always busy, and my mom always cried at night. Everything I approach her she will just push me and talk bad about my existence.

Ako't ako parin ang dahilan kung bakit hindi sya kayang mahalin ni dad. I can't blame that for that cause my mom didn't even try or make an effort to make my dad fall for her.

She just always talks badly and blames my dad for that.

She always dines with different men.

She just stopped and started to date that one man. I hate that man, Karl Louie Cruzat, he ruined my mother figure, he ruined my family, and he ruined me.

I won't forgive him.

"Is it okay to ask you what happened between your mom and dad? I didn't have any news about them when I lived here for too long."

I stop eating and find a perfect world. How can I describe the family she left.

"My family is messed. My mother hated me, and she hurt me physically, and verbally, my father also did the same because, he talk ill to me, he was frustrated with my mom behavior. My mom got a new man, his name his Karl Louie Crizat, nahuli ko sila sa sariling hotel ni mommy." I stopped when I saw her react after I said that man name. Did she know him?

"What? Did they do that to you? You're their daughter!"

Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam na may kakampi ako, na kaya akong ipagtanggol, kaya akong protektahan, at kaya akong paniwalaan.

"I got a hint now, my mother hates you because my father can't love her and I look like you, maybe that's her reason why she hates me. She even said that I have your attitude."

Hindi sya nakontento sa sinabi ko, lalo pa itong ikinadagdag ng inis nya. Wala na naman iyon para saakin. Matagal na ding hindi ko nakakasama si mommy. I feel safe and peace right now. I don't have any worry.

"Still, you won't let others hurt you. Your mom won't hurt you anymore, I'm already here." She assured me that. I just smiled, and I believe her.

Kinumkop nya nga agad ako, protektahan pa kaya ay hindi nya magawa.

We eat at peace, but still, I have a question about my mother's man. Hindi ko kayang palampasin pa ang mahabang araw para malaman ang lahat. I want to revive my memories and remember the past.

"Who's that Karl Louie Cruzat? Did you know him?"

I was satisfied with her reaction. She suddenly stopped eating and looked at me worriedly. I smiled and looked for my food.

"She's her boyfriend that time when your father and mom are engaged. They are in a serious relationship."

Paliwanag niya saakin. Kung mahal na mahal pala ni mommy ang lalaking iyon, bakit umabot sa pagkakataon na kailangang maikasal siya kay daddy and be this miserable?

"Karl also got engage to other woman, nagkahiwalay din agad sila, hindi na nila pinaglaban ang isa't isa dahil buntis na din noon si Atinia, kapag nalaman ng mga magulang ko, ipapaabort nila iyon, ngunit nadepress ang mommy mo, she lost his son with Karl, then the engagement of your mom with Regiel succeed and my parents push me away. We both lost our baby. The rest is the story." Pinunasan niya ang luha na kumawala sa kanyang mata. Naawa ako sa kanyang napagdaanan.