Heaven's On Fire |Dimebag Darrell

Black December

Dear black December
I'm writing in this eulogy
I don't wanna remember, all I wanna do is forget.

'Tis the season of giving
But to others soles spare me
No reason for living, because your curse ain't over yet.

If I had a dime, for every tear I cried

All you've ever done is tie my noose, take my dreams.
All you ever do is tear my up, break my wings

I offer my surrender, cold cruel December
Just keeps on, keeping on
I'm on the dark side of the dawn
Just waiting for the end
Of black December

Cold black December

December 14th, 2004

Days had slowly passed, and the pain only grew. I was no longer whole. I thought the void I had felt when my father left my mother and I was big, it was now a big gaping hole the moment Darrell was taken. Darrell was all I ever knew. For 14 years of my life, he stood by my side and in one night, he was gone. The plan we made were no longer plans but were now only empty promises. Now I questioned in what my life was going to look like now.

Last few days police had slowly released Darrell's things back to us. Among those things were a broken blackjack ML that he apparently was holding just moments leading up to the incident. We were able to obtain his suitcase and bag as well. It was when they finally handed me the zip lock bag that contained what was on Darrell that night was when I lost it. All I had left of him was his belongings now. When night hit, I held the very necklace that I gave him all those years ago close. Trying to hold on to him for as long as I could.

The bastards didn't care to even clean the blood off of it. I was left doing it.

Today I had to go and say my final goodbyes to the only man I had ever loved. They had finally flown Darrell home in time for us to put him to rest. I was barely holding on as Rita helped me get dressed. In this moment, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. "Sable, Phil is calling again..." Rita held my phone up. Since the news of Darrell had reached all over the world, phone calls have been coming in non-stop. At some point I had to turn my phone off just to allow some silence. Phil especially.

I couldn't help but blame him for what had happened. That interview should have never happened, let alone be published. Now look, he was gone. Angry brewed up within me when hearing his name. Grabbing the phone, I knew I had to put him straight "If you show up, I will kill you myself," I threatened before hanging up.

Lenny stood by and looked hurt to see our family so broken. There was nothing that I could say to make it better. I was pregnant, and my husband was dead. "Are you sure you still want to do your performance? No body would judge you if you couldn't" Rita asked. Since the night we lost Darrell, she had stayed by my side and allowed me to cry. Some nights I screamed. I looked to my best friend and patted her arm, "this is my last goodbye. The least I could do to send him off is by doing that. Darrell always loved hearing my voice."

Grady popped his head in, "it's time to go Sable." Looking passed him, I noticed Vinnie wasn't with him. Panic set in and Rita caught on quickly. "Hey, hey sweetheart you need to calm down for the sake of the baby. Please," rubbing my arm in hopes that it would soothe me. Truthfully, there was only one person who could. "Where is Riggs?" I asked Grady. I was getting worked up. I wish I knew why being apart from him had me frantic.

Grady frowned and looked around, "Riggs is already there, Sable. There were a few things he had to take care of. 'But he is there and waiting." I nodded even though my heart was still pounding. I needed my brother-in-law if I was going to get through this. "Let's go, we will take you to him," my best friend gently smiled, grabbing my hand as she led me out to a waiting vehicle. Before reaching the doors, I quickly turned back towards the room and grabbed two things. Then I came back and proceeded to the venue where his funeral was being held.