Heaven's On Fire |Dimebag Darrell

Randall Clinic

November 29th, 1991

Darrell's POV

  Two months have come and gone. Yet I still struggled to know that I didn't make it back in time to stop Sable from leaving. Regret had swarmed my thoughts, each minute of every day I would play it over and over again. Trying to figure out if I had done something different then would I have changed the outcome. Guilt hit me hard to where my drinking got deeper and unpredictable, my bandmates became concerned, seeing me as miserable as I was. Most nights I wanted to be left alone, after every show I would retreat back to our van and wait for the next city. I wasn't myself, that much I knew but the question I had was what should I do about it? Was it silly for me to hold onto how I was feeling, or should I just accept that I wasn't going to see Sable again and just move on? Shortly after Sable left, the guys and I had thought to scan her contract for any additional information, address or phone number but none were listed, it was as though she didn't exist.

  Tonight, we were having a show at The Vatican in Washington, DC. Afterwards we were to head back to Texas for the holidays before breaking out for our 1992 tour. I was ready to be home and be allowed to relax for a bit, this tour had us nonstop working to which I am thankful for, but I am ready for the break. The only expectation I had waiting for me was a Randall Clinic I agreed to, simple Q&A while I showed off a few of my demos from our Cowboys From Hell album. The first thing after coming back from Europe was to let Jeffery go, it was a mutual agreement between the entire band. What he pulled in Moscow, we knew we couldn't continue to work with him. I could tell touring wasn't the same without Sable, everyone felt her absence, especially Grady. 

  Aimlessly toying with my necklace with my fingers, I thought about home and just counting the days down. First thing I wanted to do was see my mom, being away for so long had really made me see in how important family was, my mom meant everything to me. I sat in the back and took another pull from my half empty beer, would Sable be back in Texas and if so, where? Was it possible that I would run into her? I would be lying that during the last leg of our tour, I wasn't searching for her face among the crowd at every show. I was desperate to see that smile of hers. Maybe I was being ridiculous after all, she could be anywhere in Texas and who is to say she would be happy to see me. I wouldn't blame her for hating me after not being there when she left, I am sure she thought I had abandoned her which was far from the truth. 

  "Hey man, be excited! We get to head home," My older brother preached. I felt bad knowing that he has done all he could to try and cheer me up during these last couple of months. Whenever I was down and lost in my thoughts, my brother was always right there to pull me back out. Vinnie was torn in what had happened to our redheaded spitfire with the captivating green eyes. You had to be blind if you never saw the ray of light that Sable held anytime she ever entered a room, there was something that always drew you in. You wanted to be close to her. Looking towards my brother, I nodded and gave a small smirk. "Yeah, I am super stoked man. I am ready to finally kick my feet up and sleep in, we have been on the road for a while now," I saluted my older brother with my beer in hand. 

    I sat and played with my guitar while Grady went over the changes he had made for tonight's show. I couldn't help but tune him out as my thoughts fell back onto Sable. Finding myself keeping the few changes she had made towards my guitar, I didn't want to lose what little I had left of her, trying to keep her with me for as long as I could. In fact, Grady had mentioned in better repairing my headstock on my DFH once we got back to Arlington, but I told him to leave it the way it was, I wanted to remember the night her clumsy ass stepped on it and the funny mortified look on her face. I knew the memory of her would end up haunting me possibly for as long as I lived but it was torture that I was willing to succumb to. I knew the smart thing to do was let go and letting go was what I will do. Phil soon walked in and looked around the room, "Alright assholes, tonight is our last show and then we head home for a well-deserved time off. So, let's make tonight count," riling all of us up as we cheered and got ready to hit the stage. On our way, we patted every shoulder of our crew, knowing that we wouldn't be here without them. Our crew was Pantera.