My only lover

Chapter 17

Me and Tom are sitting in the couch watching TV. I'm still not going over what happened yesterday. His hand is on my thigh like it always is. My hand it on top of his. Bill looks at me and grabs his phone texting me.

Bill💗💍- why are you and Tom being distant?
Me- I'll tell you later :)
Bill💗💍- don't forget ;)

I look over at him and smile. Bill talks
"Hey Ashley can I talk to you in another room?" He asks
"Yes of course" I look at Tom and smile. He looks back at me and smiles back moving his arm. Me and Bill walk into another room.
"Tell me what's going on" he sits down ready to listen.
"Tom" I say sitting by him "This girl showed up yesterday and said that Tom invited her over" I say Bill looks at me with him eyes widened. "But I checked his messages and he never said anything. But the girl said something like "you wouldn't have gotten with her. Actions have consequences." But I don't know what to believe.."
"Did she have blonde hair?"
"Yes..?"
"Like blue eyes?"
"Yes" I answer looking at him confused
"That's emma, Toms Ex. She has got him in some shit and I mean like she's horrible. She's the one who made him suicidal."
"Tom...Tom was suicidal" i stutter and look at Bill.
"Yes Ashley" he lays his hand on my hand "Right when you met him he changed saying he was happy and you...you helped him" Bill says smiling. I look down at my wrist. I look back up at Bill.

"He- He didn't tell me this at all"
"He doesn't like to talk about it..."
"Omg. Why didn't he tell me" I stand up and Bills eyes still on me and watches me walk back and forth in the room.
"He doesn't share that with anyone Ashley I found out myself"
"All she did was like blackmail him right?" I asks worried that it's worse.

"No...she umm she ra- " I cut him off
"No no no please don't tell me that!" I raise my voice and tears start to form.
"I'm so sorry you found out from me"
"How? I've never heard of a girl doing that"
"He was at the club he was drunk she was sober...She took advantage" Bill stands up and walks towards me and hugs me. I cry in his arms.

"I treated him so bad Bill"
"I know I know it's ok" he says and he strokes my hair.
"No like I- I treated him like shit. Why the fuck didn't he tell me?" I ask myself. I get upset and pull away from the hug.
"It's not your fault. He doesn't want you to treat him differently. Believe me I know Tom. He wants to be yours and you be him. Not you treat him like a baby"
"Thank you Bill. Really" I smile and wipe the tears away. He smiles back at me. We both walk back out and I sit by Tom. Bill sits next to me. I grab Toms hand and hold it. He looks at me.

"What's did y'all talk about?" Tom asks
"Nothing just about how I'm home schooled now" I smile
"Oh really?"
"Yes" I look Tom in the eyes. I miss looking in his eyes. I didn't get too yesterday.
"That's fun" Tom says looking in my eyes.
"Yea it is" I look back at the TV and continue to watch the movie.
"I heard yalls conversation Bill" Tom says looking at Bill. "I trusted you with that and you tell Ashley?" Tom gets upset but doesn't raise him voice.
"Hey it's fine" I say butting in. They both ignore me.

"She was going to find out some how Tom"
"From me Bill not from you...from me."
"She had to know! I know you can't tell but she was actually upset with you and needed comfort in the moment!" Bill yells in German.
"You need to tell me when you telling my girlfriend something like that Bill. I mean it you need to respect me and my boundaries. You crossed the line with that one" Tom doesn't raise his voice because he knows I dont like the yelling or violence.
"You weren't going to tell her stop lying to yourself Tom" When I try to but in they both ignore me or tell me to stay out of it.
"MAYBE I DIDNT WANT HER TO FUCKING KNOW BILL. MAYBE I WANTED HER TO NOT KNOW THAT I WAS RAPED OR TOUCHED OR ANYTHING! MAYBE I WANTED TO PROTECT HER FROM THAT." Tom yells getting upset, standing up and walking front of Bill. Bill stands up and gets in Toms face.
"YOU CANT PROTECT HER FROM YOUR UGLY TRUE TOM! SHE DESERVES TO KNOW" Bill yells back pointing at me. I cover my ears but they don't notice.
"I WAS! WASNT I?!" Tom yells back and walks off to his room. He slams the door behind him and Bill sits next to me sighing.

"What was that.."
"A fight Ashley what the fuck do you think it was"
"Drop the fucking attitude Bill I did nothing to you"
"I know I'm sorry" he apologizes. "Tom got mad because I told you Ashley. He told me I crossed one of his boundaries." Bill says looking down at his hands and he plays with his rings. I don't say anything but nod and get up.
"Where are you going?" Bill asks
"I am going to try and calm down Tom"
"Ok go try" Bill say not believing I can calm him down. I walk upstairs and knock on the door then enter the room. Tom is sitting on the bed with his face in him hands.

"Tom it's ok" I get cut off
"No it's not Ashley I didn't want you to know that" Tom says looking up and looking at me. His eyes are red like he was crying. I walk over to him and lay his head on my chest. I put my hand on his cheek and rub my thumb back and forth.
"It's fine I mean it. I went through the same thing Tom." Tom starts to cry. I like when I a man crys in front of me. It shows that he is completely comfortable around me.
"I'm so sorry baby" I whisper and lay down as he lays down with me laying his head on my stomach. He crys more. I grab a blanket and cover him and me up. We both fall asleep.
Tom Kaulitz is comfortable to cry in front of me
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THATS IT HOPE YOU LIKED IT LOVE YOUUU💗💗💗

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