My only lover

Chapter 37

"Tom you can leave the room" I say looking over at him.
"But-"
"Baby I'm fine" I smile and kiss him. He kisses me back.
"Ok ok" he walks out. "I'll be at the bar"
"Ok"

Bill just looks at me. I can't control the anger I have with him and slap him. As hard as I can. He doesn't fall, the slap just causes his face to move in the direction as I hit him.
"Ok I deserved that"
"You deserve way much more...explain yourself" tears start. I can feel my face go red

"Where do I start. You come to me with a serious thing. I shouldn't have told anyone. I understand that. But you need to understand that I had to vent to someone. Georg and Gustuv are the only ones that know I promise. I needed to talk to someone about what I was going through..."
"Fuck you first. Second you didn't need to tell anyone if you felt uncomfortable knowing and helping you should have told me. I'm sorry I brought that to you. I've known you long enough so I thought you would help me. Don't worry about me coming back to you Bill."
"No it's not that-"
"I just think i need time to think. A break from you... You need a break from me just-..leave"
"What?"
"You explained now leave. I really don't want to see you right now"
"But Ash"
"LEAVE BILL" I point to the door wiping the tears away.
"Ok ok I'm sorry" I don't say anything as he walks out. I slam the door behind him and walk over to the couch. I cry and curl up in a ball. An hour later Tom walks in.

"Oh hey mommy" I had stoped crying and was watching TV now.
"Hey Tom" I say not looking him as he sits next to me.
"What's wrong?" He says as he sits down next to me
"Nothing" I smile and look over at him.
"Why are you so....tired"
"I don't know I just-"
"Do I need to help you?" He puts his on my inner thigh and rubs his thumb.
"Baby-" he cuts me off by kissing me. He pulls me on his lap.
"Your-"
"I'm not drunk at all"
"Mhm" I hum

"You should relax...I think I can help you" Tom says boldly
"I'm sure You can" I say as he plays with his lip ring looking me up and down. He leans in and kisses me. He moves down to my neck leaving hickeys as he moves. I let small moans escape my mouth.
"You always make me happy baby "
"Mhmm" I can't say anything
"Use your words"
"You make me happy too" I say quickly
"Good"
"Tom come on we have to go" Bill yells from the other side of the door.

"Ok! Did y'all ever work-"
"No and I really just don't want to talk about it right now..."
"Ok ok that's fine"
"We have to go come on baby" Tom says
Tom grabs my hand and we walk out. I walk straight past Bill when he try's to hug me. He's acting like we don't have a problem. The band gets in the car and we start to the stadium.

"I'm so sorry Ashley about what I said" Georg says looking at me.
"No you fine Georg...it's not your fault" I can feel Bills eyes looking at me. I don't even look at him.
"So are y'all excited?" I asks looking at Tom,Georg and Gustuv. Making sure I'm not looking at Bill.
"Yes just a little nervous" Gustuv says
"Yea just scared" Georg says
"I'm-" Bill starts to talk
"I didn't asks you Bill"

He just rolls his eyes and sits back in his seat.
We finally arrive and I give the band space because they are nervous. Like I always do I leave them alone and go hang out. Sign stuff or just find something to do.

"Omg when are you releasing another song" a girl asks me
"I really don't know yet but I'll make sure to tell y'all"
"Ok great"

I walk away and go back to the dressing room. The bands eyes are find me.
"I'm going to sleep y'all do good"
"Thank you" The band syncs
I go and lay on the couch. I fall asleep after a few minutes of resting my eyes but I wake up a few hours later. I wake up to Bill sitting next to me.
"Aren't you supposed to-"
"No it ended a few minutes ago I was waiting for you to wake up"
"Where Tom?"

"Wow you must really love him...You wake up and the first thing you think of is him? I need to talk to you Ashley"
"You already talked" I stand up "I just need to think Bill"
"I'm so sorry Ashley what can I do to prove to you that I'll never do it again?"
"I know your sorry Bill. I just need to think about what to do"
"Why?! I said I was sorry?" Bill stands up.
"Because! You told something I trusted you with and you blabed to the band Bill. That's not something I can just forgive you for!"
Tom walks in. I turn my face towards the door.

"Get your brother to calm down" I push past Tom and walk out

Toms POV:

"What did you do Bill?"
"I was just trying to talk to her! She doesn't listen!" I walk up the Bill
"Bill you did a fucked up thing and she can't just forgive you. Give her time. Take your own advice for once. She needs to understand where you came from. You have her your side now let her thing...When we have fights she come to you"
"Yes"
"And when your upset with me you go to her right? And tell her things you wouldn't want me to know right?"
"Y- yes" He keeps eye contact
"If she told those things to me would you be mad?"
"Yes but-"
"No buts you fucked up Bill...I'm always in your side but she's my girlfriend...my first real girlfriend she cares for both of us unlike all the others. Learn from this and she will move on sooner or later."
"Ok ok Tom I'm sorry"
"I'm not the one you need to be saying sorry too" I turn to the door and point.
"Ashley is" Bill finished my sentence
"Yes do what you tell Ashley to do...Use your own advice Bill"
"Thank you Tom! But I have to go" He runs out of the room.

Ashleys POV:

As I'm walking I'm also wiping tears. I hear my name being yells so I turn around and see Bill running towards me. I roll my eyes and keep walking.
"Ashley! Please let me talk"
"Bill what do you want?!" I stop and turn to him.
"I want to say I'm sorry and you didn't deserve that...You came to me with something important and I shouldn't have told the band that-"
"You shouldn't have but now it's too late they know...If you didn't want to know it all you could have said was Ashley I don't feel comfortable with this and walked away from it. You told me I could trust you. YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WOULD HELP!" I walk towards him. He backs up into the wall. "YOU HURT ME! You hurt me so bad..!"
"IM SORRY OK? I wanted to vent to someone ok?I couldn't hold that anymore"
"Fuck you" I say and walk off.

"ASHLEY PLEASE" I hear Bill yell. I actually feel bad for him. I want to turn around and say how sorry I was. But I couldn't, my body didn't let me. I can't just let him get away with this.

I get a ride home and when I arrive at the hotel room. I go on the balcony leaning over it. I have a joint in my hand smoking. I hear the door open and close but I ignore it. My feet are over the ledge and I'm just kicking them back and forth. I hear foot steps behind me.

"You shouldn't be that close to the edge you know that right?" Tom says from behind me.
"I would be over the edge if it wasn't for this joint"
"Really..?"
"Yes Tom you don't know how much I'm tired. How I could jump right now and not regret a single thing"
"I've been there" Tom sits next to me on the edge. "I was thinking the same things you are thinking right now. That no body will miss me. No body cares. The world would be happy without me in it...I was there and still am some times. But you have to understand that everyone will miss you. My world especially would be sad without you in it."
He puts his hand on my inner thigh and moves his thumb back and forth. I put out the joint.

"I'm so grateful for you Tom...If I wouldn't have meet you I just would have been a suicidal girl who actually went through with it. I love you"
"I love you too Ashley. I can't tell you how many times how much I'm grateful for you."
I smile and kiss him. He kisses me back.

Tom Kaulitz saved me
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THATS IT FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!HOPED YOU ENJOYED!!! TOM KAULITZ=IM ON MY KNEES!!! ALSO IM SO SORRY SUMMER WORK HAS BEEN STRESSFUL BRO IM SORRY I HAVENT BEEN POSTING BABES

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