ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏʀ ʟᴏꜱᴇ || Tom Kaulitz

Summertime Sadness

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MAY'S POV:

I wake up, in the same position I fell asleep in. But it's dark now, I check my mobile to check the time, its 2pm, I had slept for a good 4 hours or so, I go to stand up but fall back onto the bed due to the pain in my thigh, that's when I remembered what I had done

"Ughh"

I say, lazily and slowly getting up, making sure to take it slow. I manage to walk out of my room and into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I hate the state I'm in. But everything has killed me off, I feel so drained. I don't want it to end up like last time.

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IMPORTANT!!

MAY HAS AN ABUSIVE EX WHO PUT HER THROUGH HELL AND SHE WAS EXTREMELY DEPRESSED FOR THE WHOLE TIME THAT THEY WERE TOGETHER, THIS ALMOST LEAD TO HER KHS, THATS WHY GEORG IS REALLY OVERPROTECTIVE ABOUT HER, AND SHE IS SCARED THAT IF HER MENTAL HEALTH KEEPS DECLINING THAT SHE'LL END UP IN THE SAME SPOT.

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I see the razor on the shower floor and go to put it away, but my leg hurt so much, it'll have to wait. But I was going to have to remember before Georg got back, which was in 3 days. I couldn't have him or anyone else worry about me again. Not after the events from this week, it's been so hectic. This is why I hate my body so much, it gathers too much attention.

I walked out of the bathroom and went downstairs to grab some water, before the doorbell rang, I wasn't expecting anyone was I? I took a swig of water and placed it down, walking to the front door and opening it.

There stood the 4 boys, what the hell were they doing here.

"Uh what the hell, why are you here, you were supposed to be gone for another 3 days?"

They all walked inside, Tom last.

"Well, we were too worried about the incident, so we came back"

I looked at them, dumbfounded

"You just wasted time, I'm fine"
I say laughing and walking back over to the kitchen, picking up my water and drinking some.

Tome comes up to me and hugs me, giving me a kiss on the forehead,

"I missed you so much" He whispered

I awkwardly looked away, I couldn't look at him in the face after that night.

"Yeah, me too" I say, "I'm going to my room"

I head upstairs and shut my door, how is he acting like nothing happened? Like he didn't kiss another girl? Like he didn't lie to me.

I sit down on my bed and take the toilet roll off of my thigh, which was being covered by my long sweatpants, luckily, the cuts had dried up so I whiped the area and put the tissue in the bin. I then got up and went to my Vinyl Player, and put on my favorite music, while writing down lyrics of my own.

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TOM'S POV:

May seemed a bit off, she didn't hug me back, she didn't even look at me. Did I do something wrong?

"Yo Georg mind if I take a quick shower?"

"Not at all man go ahead"

I smile at him and head to the bathroom locking it behind me, I place my fresh clothes down and take off my worn ones. I go to turn the shower on, but I notice on the floor is a razor next to a cloth,

With dried blood on it?

I quickly put my clothes on and head downstairs to the boys,

"I thought you were getting a shower?" Bill said, causing the others to look over to me

"I mean I was but I saw this on the floor of the shower, does that look like blood to you or not?" I say, holding the cloth up and the razor.

Everyone looks at me with confusion except for Georg, he jogs over and takes them out of my hand, looking at them closely

"Shit" He said
Before running up the stairs and bursting into May's room

Me, Bill and Gustav just stand there, totally confused.

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MAY'S POV:

I was writing down lyrics when suddenly Georg bursts into my room with the angriest face ever.

"Hey what's u-" I say before he throws the razor and cloth I had used earlier onto my bed, I had forgotten to put it back.

Shit.

I look at him

"Why May?" I stayed silent. "YOU PROMISED YOU'D STOP WHY START AGAIN?!"

I flinched at his words, promised. I broke his trust. My eyes started to tear up,

"I..I'm sorry I just-" I couldn't even get a sentence out before bursting into tears. It was like before, just like before. I don't want to shut him out, I don't want to shut anyone out, but I don't want to tell anyone either. Georg was also crying, he came up to me and hugged me tightly.

"Please May"

I just hugged him, like he was never going to see me again, I hugged him for so long, I didn't want this moment to stop, he is always there for me, I'm so scared of losing him. We sat there for 15mins, just hugging, I haven't been able to spend alot of tiem with georg, he's always busy with his band, and with tours, and I was always busy with school, but now he's busy and I'm just here. Alone. I can't even go out because it always ends bad. I just want to be normal, but in this world, it is normal, and it shouldn't be.

We pulled away from out hug and Georg whiped my tears,

"Please never do this again May, I can't handle it, I'm too scared of losing you, please" I looked at him and nodded

"Okay" I let out.

He hugged me again and we just stayed there for another minute,

"How about we have a movie day, just out favorite movies and shows all day"

We loved movie days, ever since we were little, whenever either of us were down, movie day was the solution. Always. I nod in excitement and Georg walks out of the room to go set up the living room.

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TOM'S POV:

Georg walked down the stairs after about 16 mins, his eyes were red and teary and he was sniffling alot

"Yoo man you alr?" I asked him

"Yeah, just some family issues"

I patted him on the back as he walked past, whiping his face

"How do you guys feel about a movie day?"

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