Only the "Strong" Survive | Paul Lahote |

*chapter six*

He remained only a step or two behind me as I walked out the door, he was much larger than me, intimidating. I tried to walk faster but I could hear him behind me and knew that it was only a matter of seconds before he caught up.

"What do you want?" I said turning to face him.

He looked almost shocked that I had stopped, almost confused because I didn't just keep walking away.

His words came out with a small stutter and soft voice, "She...Sue is right you need to go to the hospital. You can't just try to...you can't just do what you did and not be evaluated."

"You can't make me, I don't even know you people."

His soft expression turned into a deep glare, "I. Don't Care. Either you stay here and let Sue watch you or you go to a hospital. We don't trust you to be alone."

I watched his fists clinch, as he spoke. His jar tight and his shoulders lifting and I felt a chill run down my spine. He could hurt me, he could force me inside, he could force me to do anything if he merely wanted to. I broke eye contact and wrapped my arms around myself, giving him a small nod as I headed back towards the house. He didn't move to follow me this time, his breath remained ragged and just as before I tried to get away from him as fast as I could.

Sue gave me a soft smile when I walked back into the house, I don't know why they brought me here. I don't know why they saved me at all, I'd never even seen these people before. But there was kindness in her eyes, one I hadn't felt often or really at all in life.

"He said I could stay here? I really don't want to go to the hospital," I spoke softly uncrossing my arms and just messing with my fingers.

"Yes, you can. But, sweety, I saw the stitches on your forehead I know you've been to one recently - what's going on in your life that you would try to..." She looked for the correct turn of phrase, "take your own life?"

I sighed sitting down next to her on the couch. She handed me a cup of tea and just waited patiently for me to answer. I avoided eye contact at all costs while debating what I could and couldn't tell her.

"I left my parents house, it wasn't a good place to be and I'm an adult, legally anyway. I was attacked the night before last, a man he followed me and when I got back to my motel after work, he...he forced himself on me. And between my parents and him I didn't want to live anymore." I stopped speaking to see the saddest look in her eyes, a look that told me she thought I was broken, that I was damaged and needed protection. And while she would be right to think so, it was the last thing I wanted.

Sue didn't answer for a while, I'm not sure if she was looking for the right words or if she realized how messed up I really was that she was trying to figure out how to get out of helping me. Nothing she said could've fixed any of it, it wouldn't have erased the years of abuse from my father, or the pain that that man had caused me, or what I had just tried to do to myself. I scooted away from her, trying to give her space for whatever it was she was feeling and thinking.

"I'm sorry for being a burden to you and your...family? I didn't mean to cause any problems I can leave - I'll gladly leave and never bother of any of you again," I spoke softly setting down my tea cup.

Sue sighed, "Honey no, you're staying here. As long as you need," she looked up grabbing my hand gently, "you are NEVER a burden. And I'm so deeply sorry anyone ever made you feel that way."

I smiled a little relaxing some into the couch, picking my tea up and just watching as Sue moved around the cozy house. She folded some blankets, went to the kitchen, small little busy work here and there. I felt content, but I had so many questions. Questions I couldn't bother her with just yet.

He hadn't come back inside, I'm not sure where he went. I thought maybe he would, after all he seemed so concerned and mad at me for trying to leave. He had sat by my side for who knows how long, and didn't even bother to introduce himself. I stirred my tea as I thought about his brown eyes, his shoulders, his hair. There was something so familiar and so terrifying about him. About all of this, honestly. But maybe, just maybe they'd leave me alone soon - once they deemed me to be mentally stable. I wasn't sure how long that would take.