Only the "Strong" Survive | Paul Lahote |

*chapter thirty-eight*

Pinned to the floor of the woods I felt myself struggling to breathe. I kept gasping and trying to move my arms, to kick my legs, to scream. Nothing happened except an overwhelming, crushing weight on my chest. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I looked at the trees and sky above me. The moment felt endless, I could feel myself giving up - letting go.

Shooting up from the bed I woke up gasping for air, reaching around me to gather myself - to make sure I was where I was supposed to be. I'd grown accustomed to the nightmares, but they had been the same thing over and over, Ryan and me. This time being alone, not seeing the thing that was hurting me, the reason I couldn't breathe... it was slightly more terrifying. Not knowing is always terrifying.

Paul sat up in bed next to me, groaning at the light from my phone as I looked at the time. It was only 6a.m.

"You good?" Paul asked on the sleepiest, sexiest voice I'd ever heard.

"Mhmm." I said as I laid back down next to him, taking in his warmth and scent.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go back to sleep. The feeling of not being able to breathe, never quite went away. My chest still felt tight and heavy, I knew it was anxiety. But it was anxiety from what I didn't understand, I knew I was safe, I knew it was a dream but here I was still afraid. I remained in bed for another half hour or so before removing Paul's arms from myself and getting up to get coffee.

I placed myself on the couch, looking mostly at the wall and trying to calm myself down. It'd been a week since the last time I felt this anxious, and I hated it. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't make myself do so even though I knew it would help. The door to the garage opened and a groggy, messy hair Paul walked in. I offered him a small smile as he rubbed his eye and yawned, sleepy Paul was my favorite version of him.

"Baby, your phones rang three times. It woke me up." He said handing it to me, yawning in the middle.

I laughed a little and opened the call log to see who it was, I felt my heart start racing and Paul must've felt it too because he was suddenly more wide-eyed and awake than before. Dialing the number back I set my coffee cup down, and began pacing around the room. It wasn't even intentional but I needed to do something. Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Joni? Hello, I've been trying to reach you." Detective Slater spoke on the other side, I looked at Paul grabbing his arm and just wobbling side to side not knowing what was to come.

"I'm sorry I missed your calls. Did you..did you find them?" I asked softly feeling my eyes fill up with tears.

It'd been almost three weeks of waiting for them to find my parents. I'd gotten off crutches, had my stitches out, quit the job at diner - a lot had changed. I didn't know how far they could've gotten in that time, or if they'd ever even left Forks.

"We believe so. They were found in a motel in Port Angeles, but we need your help."

"With what? If you have them that's all you need."

"Joni," he took a big deep breath and a long pause, "we need you to identify the bodies."

For a moment it felt like my heart completely stopped. Paul's eyes were wide, I knew he could hear the phone call. I was frozen, holding his arm, finally standing still. Those words replaying in my head.